who wants to hear about my wild night at the gay dance bar?
Oh my God, you do, you really do, because it was a doozy.
My best friend (storyteller7.tumblr) and I frequent Play, a wonderful gay dance bar in Nashville that does drag shows on the weekends (which are amazing by the way). We are very familiar and comfortable in this place, and nothing out of the ordinary (for us) ever really happens.
Last night was very out of the ordinary. One of my favorite performers, Dee Ranged, was back in town for one night only and I was super psyched. We got there early to get good spots, and as Seven went to go get the first round, I found myself alone and already being chatted to by this sweet interracial gay couple. The show started and the first performer knocks it out of the park with Matron Mama Morton's number from Chicago. We and the gay couple lost our shit. And when another performer did Little Shop of Horrors (in green face paint) it just got better. Another performer came off the stage, right up to me, and danced up on me a bit and gave me a kiss on the lips. Another one grabbed my boobs when I gave her a tip.
So the night's off to a good start, but I'm still only 5'2" even in wedges. It's difficult to see, and I notice that the two birthday girls that a queen had dubbed "caucasian females, but you all know what I really mean" had vacated their table. They had looked SUPER uncomfortable when one of the queens started messing with them, so we figured they had left to find a place where hot men in makeup and fishnets wouldn't accost them. We and our new couple friends took the table.
A friend of mine from work joined us. At this point we have a group of five, with me and work buddy at the table, the gay couple behind us, and my bestie off in the bathroom. At this moment, one of the caucasian females comes back in her little birthday crown and says "Uh, you guys are in our seats."
I don't know how most dance clubs work with tables and shit, but at Play, you can reserve a table and pay extra, and get a little card with your name on it. If you don't have it reserved, you always leave someone sitting at the table to hold it. Right? Well this angry woman is enraged that we would take an empty, unreserved table at a crowded club on a Friday night. I know that we're in the right, so my coworker and I don't move, but plant our elbows on the table and try to explain that she vacated it.
This woman has had more than a few drinks (which are still littered all over the table) and is leaning further and further into me. She insults me, threatens me with jail because she's going to hit me and I'm going to hit her back (....ok), tells me she pities me and has daughters my age, yada yada. Trying to be very intimidating. I'm not the least bit intimidated. I give her a tiny smile and say "Happy birthday, honey."
Oh man. Oh man, she lost her shit. I didn't realize that at this point, Seven was behind me at my back and the gay couple were with her. The woman's friends were much more sober and much kinder, and my friend was able to explain to them why the table was ours now. They got it, and worked to get their angry friend calmed down and out the door. They did, but not after much angry yelling, and she threw ice at my head. I'm just happy she didn't dump her drink on me. I was holding my phone out of the way the whole time because I kept expecting it to happen.
Battle won. All our blood is going and we're AWAKE, so we sit through the next drag show (holy shit, Princess can GET IT, she did two phenomenal numbers and she's my new favorite) and then we hit the dance floor. My sister has shown up by this time and the gay couple has left. The four of us rock it out for a while and right as we're about to head out the DJ comes in with NAAAAAAAAA SIGONYAAAAAA BA BA EETSEE BA BAAAAAAAAAA and we do a fast 180 and get right back out there and every one on the floor went nuts.
In conclusion: got kissed and groped by gorgeous drag queens, almost had a WWE smackdown with a white bitch, met a few amazing people, danced my ass off, and had the best night in a long time.