No Love Allowed
Enjin x Fem!reader
Zombie
They're getting somewhereeeee Even though Enjin is completely sure he can't like you.
tw: blood, traumatic past, death, loss, Enjin finally not being in denial (he still is lowkey), deep talk
Chapter 9 < Chapter 10 > Chapter 11
Enjin shouldn’t be following you.
Yet here he was, silent, steady footsteps behind you. You were so out of it that you didn’t even noticed it.
Follo was right, though his words had been too harsh. What surprised Enjin was you. The flash of emotion on your face, that crack in your usually cold, unreadable mask.
He’d seen it before, briefly, back in the car.
Which already broke the image he had built around your persona.
He used to tease you just to get a rise out of you, to prove there was something human behind that stone heart of yours. So he could blame you. Not trying to see why you were like this.
He scratched his neck in irritation, he could be such an idiot sometimes.
It had always irritated him, how little you seemed to feel. But now… now you flipped. You cared. And for some odd reason, he liked that.
Not you, he could never like you.
He just can’t.
He agreed with Follo, one apology couldn’t fix everything. But that didn’t mean you didn’t belong here.
Rather quite the opposite.
You want to change, he can see that. The fact that you tried to apologize, isn’t what you would’ve done the first time he met you. You were arrogant, ignorant, like a child and at the same time you didn’t care about really anything.
Riyo was right. You two were quite the same. He was just finding excuses to not like you.
Maybe it was because you were part of the Raiders. Or maybe it was something way deeper.
He had always pictured you as a cold killer without remorse. What he saw now was something different, a person unraveling under the weight of their own choices. Maybe you hadn’t even had one.
The truth was, he didn’t know shit about you, when you joined the raiders, or why.
You made your way up to the roof in fast and unstable large steps and sank down, folding yourself, knees pulled tight as you cried quietly. The sight caught him off guard. You looked nothing like the fierce, confident woman from before.
It irritated him, that you could be this fragile after being so untouchable. SO he watched for a moment, torn between stepping forward and staying hidden.
You clearly didn’t want anyone to see you like this.
It wasn’t his intention to get you this hurt. So he should fix this.
****
Broken glass was scattered across the floor, and blood flowed in thick rivers over the shining shards. It wasn’t quiet, your screams and cries filled the room, but no one heard. Your mother lay in the middle of it all, pale and still.
Deep gashes, blood fleeing from the wounds painting her skin in pure red.
You shook her body, desperate for her to wake. But nothing.
“MAMA!”
You didn’t care when the glass tore into your soft skin. Your small hands bled as you clutched her, shards biting deep, but you didn’t stop. The blood of your mother mixing with your owns.
You began to sing, the lullaby she used to hum when you couldn’t sleep, your voice trembling through the silence.
Maybe if you sang it, she’d smile again at you. Maybe she’d laugh. Maybe she’d cry.
Maybe she’d come back.
You sang until your throat burned. Hoping it would heal her.
But it didn’t work. You weren’t a hero, your voice was just a muscle and vibration. It carried no magic strong enough to bring her back.
Still, you sang harder. Because it had to work. It just had to.
“It’s no use. She’s dead.”
A man’s voice broke through the chaos that stormed in your mind, but you didn’t stop. You only clutched harder at the skin that had already turned cold.
“She’s dead, little one.”
No. No, she’s just sleeping. She’s just tired after another fight with Papa, that’s all. It was just one of their fights!
She’ll wake up soon.
She always does.
Your clothes were heavy, soaked through with blood clinging to your small frame. Someone sighed and pried you away from her body.
The body you called mother just a few hours ago.
“She’s shaking,” someone muttered. The emblem gleaming on their uniform left mo doubt, the Hell Guards had arrived.
“Get her out of here,” another ordered. “No child should see this. We’ll look for her father and hand er over once we’ve cleaned this mess up.”
*****
A heavy thump and a faint rattle echoed beside you as someone sat down. The sharp stink of cigarette smoke burned into your nose, and you didn’t need to look to know who it was.
“Fuck off, fries head,” you muttered, voice barely a whisper.
You were truly a pathetic sight right now.
Enjin sighed heavily beside you, looking at the horizon. “Stop that. Amo already calls me that, I don’t need another one joining in.” His voice calm and steady, a high contrast to your broken and vulnerable state.
You shot him a side glare, which only earned a quiet chuckle.
“What are you doing here?” You asked, breaking the pressing silence. Your voice was rough, eyes red and puffy.
“Sitting. Smoking a cigarette,” he replied easily, taking another drag. “Want a puff?”
You grimaced in disgust, and that made him laugh.
“You want to talk about it?” He asked after a quiet long moment, smoke curling upward into the cool air. Waiting for your response, not pressuring you at all.
“What’s there to talk about?” You muttered, letting the frustration about yourself out. “I fucked up. Like always.” You rubbed at your sore eyes, the words spilling faster than you could stop them. “I’ve never related how much of a cold bitch I was. I just never really thought-“ You stopped, inhaling shakily. “I just feel so pathetic. I’m such a bad person. Whatever the fuck this is-“ you gestured at your tear-streaked face. “Is this what being overwhelmed is?” Without even realizing you started to pull at your hair, “And I am talking to you! Out of all people!”
Enjin let you insult him, and everything around him. He didn’t take it personally, but even if, he deserved it. It wasn’t hard to see that it came from something deeper. When your rant finally died down, he turned to look at you.
“Feeling isn’t something bad, you know?” He said quietly. “It just shows that you’re human. That you care.”
He couldn’t help but wonder what had caused such a drastic shift in you, like someone had flipped a switch and flooded you with emotions all at once. No wonder you felt like a fucking mess.
You sniffled, staring down at your scarred hands. “But if feelings aren’t bad, why do I feel so…horrible?”
He chuckled softy, exhaling smoke. You couldn’t help but glare at the smell of tobacco. “Because the bad ones scream louder. We tend to focus on them more than the good. But even bad emotions aren’t really bad, they just mean something’s still working inside of you. You have to shift your focus. Do you want to be a bad person? What is it you want? Even a small goal is better than nothing.”
And this time you weren’t mad at him for repeating the words of the last time you talked. He didn’t push further. He knew better than to fig into someone’s past, especially one as traumatic as yours.
He understood that kind of pain all too well.
“Fuck you.”
The words sliced through the air, cutting the heaviness in half.
“Aye, here I am trying to help, and that’s what I get?” He said, pretending to sound wounded. “I’m hurt, Siren.”
You laughed softly through your tears. “Don’t call me that.”
Even Enjin didn’t realize it how much his words helped. His words helped. For the first time, something inside you loosened. The faint realization that maybe you could change. It wasn’t easy to accept, but it was a start. And for a brief moment, it was enough.
“You know, my Jinki is the reason for this,” you murmured, rubbing at your neck. “The consequences of using them… it takes my humanity away. The stronger the effect, the stronger it takes from me, slowly turning me into something… inhuman. I don’t know what. But it’s scary. And all because of my-“
You stopped yourself, forcing the thought away. “I was supposed to die that day. But Zodyl found me… and planted this,” your grip tightened around your throat, “in my neck”
Enjin stayed silent, processing every word.
Before either of you could say more, the door to the roof creaked open. Corvus stepped out, his coat swaying behind him, catching both of you off guard.
“I’ve got another mission for you two,” he said warmly as always. “Riyo, Rudo and Zanka will join you.”
And somehow you just have a feeling this mission is going to be a rough one.
Am I the only one who thinks that before Enjin can even do anything he just gets knocked out😭 I know he is strong, and has something up his sleeve. But my man be getting knocked out like he some piece of meat yoooo hahaha
@staygoldsquatchling02 @whiter4bbitcorner @i-have-no-life-charlie @ayanazoldyck @spidysensestingaling @hanmastattoos @eliengoddes @ujjjjkjkkkkkooo @navezepol221 @loucelle @amso-nia @ayuqi @ilovebtsstuff @actuallyshard @mira-belcul18
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