NSFW lyric rewrite of Nicki Minaj’s Anaconda for @mimsiical‘s fic, the road goes away from here. Lyrics below the cut :)
[Dirk]
My friendly dick hair don’t, my friendly dick hair don’t
My friendly dick hair don’t want none unless you’re human, hun
[Jake]
We’re here; this deer gave me some sense of fear
Big--big ears with his antlers, as he came friggin near
Held--held his head there in my hand, and my heart started pounding
Then the Fae came onto the scene, and alarms started sounding
Now it’s real, real, real
Prince thinks I’m fair? I don’t know how to feel
And what’ll I wear? Suppose I’d best show my appeal
And then there’s Jane who thinks they want my heart to steal
I know that deer, though!
By the way, what he say?
Gave his Name when he whisked me away
Seemed pretty sudden when I woke the next day
Then before we hit the hay, Dirklin showered me in praise
Think I’d like for him to stay, and I think that soon he may
Got me decked out in jewelry ‘till I jingle by the tub
So I went down on his chub (Is this what it’s like to sub?), slipped
Down d-d-down d-d-down d-d-down
[Dirk]
My friendly dick hair don’t, my friendly dick hair don’t
My friendly dick hair don’t want none unless you’re human, hun
[Villagers]
Oh my gosh, look at that cloak
Oh my gosh, look at that cloak
Oh my gosh, look at that cloak
Look at that cloak
Look at, look at, look at
Look, at that cloak
[Jake]
This prince named Strider got my heart feeling lighter
My-my head just keeps on spinning, feels like spiced apple cider
Boy really loves mounting; all he needs is a rider
First unraveled all my wants; now he’s twisting me tighter
And we bang, bang, bang
I pull him closer and ignore poor Jane
He made me holler, gents, I sang, sang, sang
Came when he called; he hit my bell and I rang
So where’s my dear at?
By the way, what he say?
Had my Name when he led me away
Seemed pretty settled when I woke the next day
'Cause before we hit the hay, Dirklin put me in a daze
Think he’d like for me to stay, and I think that soon I may
Decked in gold 'till I jingle when our bodies start to rub
So I go down on his chub (guess I really like to sub), slip
Down d-d-down d-d-down d-d-down
[Dirk]
My friendly dick hair don’t, my friendly dick hair don’t
My friendly dick hair don’t want none unless you’re human, hun
[Villagers]
Oh my gosh, look at that cloak
Oh my gosh, look at that cloak
Oh my gosh, look at that cloak
Look at that cloak
Look at, look at, look at
Look, at that cloak
[Dirk]
Got him into Autumn and he's got my heart
Got him into Autumn and he's got my heart
Got him into Autumn and he's got my heart
[Villagers] (Oh my God, look at that cloak)
[Dirk]
My friendly dick hair don’t, my friendly dick hair don’t
My friendly dick hair don’t want none unless you’re human, hun
D-don’t, My friendly dick hair don’t
D-d-d-don’t want none unless you’re human, hun
[Villagers]
Oh my gosh, look at that cloak
Oh my gosh, look at that cloak
Oh my gosh, look at that cloak
Look at that cloak
Look at, look at, look at
Look, at that cloak
[Jake]
Yeah I love that long tail, hahaha!
Yeah, that tail is fluffy and it loves to wrap around my waist
Yes, I love his tail and its softness on my skin
Fluffy and it’s friendly, fluffy and it’s friendly on my skin
I wanna bury my face and hands in the fur and shout for Dirklin ‘cause
He’s got fur that’s really goshdamned soft, what?!
