My Latest Crazy BTS Military Service Theory: WANNA HEAR IT?LET'S GOOOO --
Here's what I think. I've been thinking it for a second but it took a minute to work its way through my brain SO
This whole Vegas concert date flex has been in the works for awhile. It was planned as soon as they were invited to perform and got hosed in the nominations. BECAUSE.
If the Grammys sees the press and feels the heat and actually AWARDS THEM the Grammy they deserve (and let's be honest, they have deserved it MORE THAN ONCE) - they will be the ONLY Korean group with a Grammy. That qualifies as an international award. That's a gold medal at the Olympics, kids. THAT GIVES PARLIAMENT A LEGAL REASON TO EXEMPT THEIR SERVICE ENTIRELY and keep the cash and influence flowing into Korea.
We can hate the Grammys all day but there is a method to the madness and is is based on Korean law and precedent for exemption of military service.
And Korea wants BTS not to have to serve. It's better for the GDP of the country for them to be out here spinning gold out of thin air while they're in their prime.
But it's tough to get that through Parliament without changing law, and they've already gotten the law changed once with the BTS Deferment amendment. SO in order to protect themselves, the politicos are all like "IF YOU GET A GRAMMY" which let's be honest has been a thing for YEARS. Literally had they gotten one last time we wouldn't even be wondering about military service now. But this is about the LAST YEAR THEY CAN PULL IT and not have Seokjin and Yoongi having to go in anyway. COVID has done a number on the timing, too.
SO. WHAT IF THEY DON'T GET THE GRAMMY? It's a fair question, a really fair question, because we know how the US awards system likes to fuck over our guys. Racist asshats, the lot of them, and jealous into the bargain, but what can BTS do about a system over which they have no control?
THEY CAN FLIP THE GOT-DAMN SCRIPT. Paint the town purple. Call ARMY out of reserve status and into active duty. Combat, if you like. If they can show up on the red carpet and go "yeah that's cute how your capacity venue is now our movie theater for overflow because our fans will pay admission to watch us BE IN THE SAME CITY" and smirk while the American jackwagons get really uncomfortable really fast because WE AIN'T GOT A SINGLE ARTIST THAT CAN DO THAT.
Then, when they go home, they make some calls. They go "look here's the thing, y'all want us to bring in $30-50 MILLION US DOLLARS per tour stop OR you want us to come home and play trumpet in the Korean Army Band like Lee Taemin, because those are your options" and Korea likes money as well as the next country. Also Taemin hasn't enjoyed military service up to this point, government publicity be damned. And SHINEE isn't out there pulling in huge crowds or cash into Korea without him, either. It's a longer shot, conservative politicians are assholes about honor and glory as we all know, but it's better than just enlisting and calling it a day.
And given that BTS is at least, in my brain canon, 4/7ths not heterosexual, it would be really nice if they could just NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE GAY-IN-THE-MILITARY BULLSHIT. That's what I think. So if you are going to Vegas, wear your Borahaegear proudly. Show off your merch. Ask everyone if they know BTS. Talk loudly about the amazing shows, the talent, the flex, the beauty, the How You Learned To Love Yourself. WE ARE ARMY AND if I'm right and I think I am (because I always think I am), our guys need us more than they're letting on right now.
They don't get to do this in the military kids Y'ALL WANT GAY ELVIS-THEMED GAY VEGAS GAY WEDDINGS YOU BETTER GET 'EM OUT OF THE KOREAN MILITARY FIRST IS WHAT I'M SAYING. Am I crazy? Maybe. But what if I'm not?














