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From the 6DOSW Archives: Sam's "Fix the Prequels Romance" Manifesto

I used to spend a lot of time bopping around on Quora (I do not recommend doing so now), and one of the answers I gave was for this question:

How would you write the love story between Anakin and Padme in the prequels if you had the power to choose the directing and dialogue?

In light of our new episode, y'all are getting the resultant manifesto for posterity, and I hope you appreciate the essay you’re about to get, because even if I only have the power to change the love story, and not the entirety of the plot, there is a lot I want to tinker with.

Obviously if you've listened to the episode, you know that I'm already pretty ride or die for Anidala, but I am also something of a writer myself (with 2 degrees in theatre), so this was an exercise as much in communicating to the audience authorial intent more clearly as it was flexing my creative brain muscles.

May the Force Be With You, Sam Grand Master of the Order of Six Degrees of Star Wars

One change I would make would be to push Anakin’s age up slightly to make him 11 in The Phantom Menace to Padmé’s 14, thus reducing their age difference slightly and meaning that in the 10-year jump ahead for Attack of the Clones, Anakin would now be 21, while keeping Padmé at 24. I know that this is close to Lucas’ original concept, where Anakin was 12, but then aged down to 9 in order to make the separation from his mother even more pointed, but I think that’s an indication of weakness as a writer that he couldn’t find a way to make that work with the 12-year-old. But in all honesty, this is also so I don't have to keep hearing "Padmé is a cougar" jokes from here to eternity. To the people who make those jokes, you're not funny, and moreover, you're wrong.

Other than that change, however, I would keep most of the setup in their story the same. The concept of Anakin being the one who’s more willing to articulate the attraction, while Padmé has more reservations about it is one that I think works really well, because of how their backstories set them up in The Phantom Menace: Anakin, who grew up enslaved, sees the people he loves as the most precious thing in the world and does not want to waste time with them. This makes him direct and forthright about his feelings. Padmé, meanwhile, was raised in privilege and comfort but has been in public service from a young age. Because of this, she is more likely to push down her own feelings in the name of serving the greater good, and so it makes sense that she’s the one who isn’t willing to act on the feelings she and Anakin share.

A lot of the issues with dialogue in the prequels has to do with how seriously everything is delivered— there are moments of levity where the connection Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen had as friends/romantic interests does shine through, and I think the main issue comes from George Lucas trying to keep the courtly formality in their delivery. So a big change I would make in the writing would be to allow them a more casual tone when they’re in private, with no eyes on them, as part of a demonstration of how their walls are coming down (contractions are your friend, George).

So what would I change?

Well, I’d add back in the scenes that were deleted, available at the following timecodes-

4:32 - Anakin and Padmé talking in the courtyard of the royal palace

9:26 - Anakin meeting Padmé’s family and bonding further with her and them

13:42 - Meeting with Dooku, followed by the “trial” with Poggle the Lesserhttps://youtu.be/5vPvyV7xznc

I don’t see any need to make real changes to these scenes, and yes, they are mostly to Padmé’s benefit because they let her play off people other than Anakin and add more depth to her character, but it also benefits the romance because it shows a deeper contrast between how they act in a professional setting versus a private one (from a certain point of view). And the trial and capture scene could be used to replace a shortened version of the scene in the factory (which I have never much enjoyed, and feel is largely superfluous action).

Now, onto the scenes that are in the movie that need adjustment.

The packing scene:

Most of this scene is okay in theory, I think it only really needs the following adjustments:

There needs to be a beat (a pause) where Padmé considers Anakin before telling him he’s grown up. In general, George isn’t the best at making use of the moments when people are not talking, and that’s probably due to him copying the golden age of Hollywood dialogue that relies so thoroughly on quick retorts.

The moment that ends the scene. The filmed version of the scene dialogue goes:

Padmé: Please don’t look at me like that. Anakin: Why not? Padmé: It makes me feel uncomfortable. [A beat as she walks away, Anakin looking at her with a smile on his face] Anakin: Sorry, m’lady.

The version of the script available on IMSDB has it going as follows:

Padmé: Please don’t look at me like that. Anakin: Why not? Padmé: Because I can see what you're thinking. Anakin (laughing): Ahh... so, you have Jedi powers too? [DORME is watching with concern.] Padmé: It makes me feel uncomfortable. Anakin: Sorry, m’lady. [ANAKIN backs away as PADME turns and goes back to her packing.]

Here’s how I would adjust it.

Padmé: Please don’t look at me like that. Anakin: Like what? [Padmé glances over her shoulder at Dormé, then back at Anakin] Padmé: Like this. [Padmé gives Anakin the same intense gaze he’s been giving her, he becomes flustered and drops the Force remote he’s been using, ducking to the ground to retrieve it, smiling to himself] Anakin: Sorry… [pauses and looks up, remembering Dormé is watching them, becoming more formal] m’lady. [Padmé awkwardly returns to Dormé, but she and Anakin are now both glancing back at each other]

I made these adjustments because while the draft version of the script makes it seem to me that Padmé was claiming the look made her uncomfortable to save face in front of Dormé, the filmed version can come off as creepy because the scene basically forgets that Dormé is there, and while Anakin and Padmé should do that as they get lost in their attraction to one another, the audience shouldn’t.

The Lake scene:

I love the lake scene and I wouldn’t change anything… up until the moment they kiss. See, I think it would be better if their first kiss took a little more time, so I’d let them lean in, and then make the following change:

Padmé [pulling back just before they make contact]: No… we can’t. Anakin: But I thought… Padmé: I know. I’m sorry. [a beat as they stare at one another] I should go unpack. [She leaves the terrace. Anakin, now standing alone, looks out at the water again, slowly bringing his hand to his lips]

This would be buildup of tension that would be raised further by the picnic scene, which really does not need to be changed in text, but the delivery of Anakin’s infamous ‘well if it works’ that became a meme needs to be adjusted slightly (even if I do enjoy the memes on some level). Again, let’s look at the IMSDB version of the script:

PADME: That sounds an awful lot like a dictatorship to me. [A mischievious little grin creeps across his face.] ANAKIN: Well, if it works... [Padmé stares at ANAKIN. He looks back at her, straight-faced, and can't hold a smile.] PADME: You're making fun of me. ANAKIN (sarcastic): On no, I'd be much too frightened to tease a Senator.

The version that ended up in the film feels more threatening and ominous, which, yes, works if you’re considering that this is the guy who’s going to be Darth Vader one day, but it also undermines the levity that’s supposed to let Padmé bypass the red flag and see this as a joke. I’d direct closer to the way it’s written in the script.

The dinner and fireplace scenes:

Since we’ve changed it so that they have not kissed yet, this is the pair of scenes that requires the most changes. Most of the dinner scene is fine, so let’s just go straight to its end/segue into the fireplace scene.

[Anakin floats a piece of the shuura fruit to Padmé, who catches it and laughs, getting up from the table, and crossing to the sitting room. As she leaves, he checks his communicator for any message from Obi-Wan, then follows her through. Padmé has removed her wrap and is now sitting by the fire and eating the fruit slice, he hangs at the door, watching her.] Padmé: Has there been any word? Anakin: Not yet. I’m sure he’ll contact us as soon as he knows something. It hasn’t been that long. Padmé: I just hate not being able to do anything, not being able to act, to do what I know needs to happen. [Anakin crosses over to sit next to her] Anakin: I remember you worried like this when we met. Padmé: [laughing slightly] And you were there to protect me then too. Anakin: I’d gladly do it forever. [Padmé blushes and looks away from him, Anakin ducks his head in realizing his mistake.] I only meant— Padmé: No, you didn’t. Anakin: You said we can’t. Padmé: I know. Anakin: But that’s not the same thing as you don’t want to. Padmé: What we want doesn’t change who we are, Ani. I’m still a Senator. You’re still going to be a Jedi. It could never work, we’d be destroying our futures, maybe even our lives. Anakin: What if I don’t care? What if you matter more to me than being a Jedi? [The two of them have gotten closer and are once more inches apart, staring at each other intensely.] Padmé: Then I have to be the one who says no. For both our sakes. Anakin: Is that really what you want? Have you ever actually done something for yourself instead of for everyone else? If you could just be Padmé, not a queen, not a senator, just you, what would— [Padmé cuts Anakin off by closing the distance and kissing him. Anakin seems shocked at first but returns the kiss before Padmé pulls back, covering her mouth in horror at her loss of control. She gets up, moving to leave] Padmé: I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. Anakin: If we feel the same way— Padmé: We don’t have the luxury of ignoring the real world. No matter how much we want to. This can’t happen again. I won’t let this happen again. I’m sorry, Anakin. I truly am. But I’m doing this because I care about you. And I won’t let you destroy yourself for me. [Padmé leaves before Anakin can form a response.]

We can keep the scene on the terrace after his nightmare relatively the same, as well as the scenes leading up to Anakin’s departure from the Lars homestead to rescue his mother.

Now we get to the scene after he finds his mother. I’ve gone on the record stating that I don’t think the scene is as nonsensical as some people make it out to be; there’s a logic to why Padmé reacts the way she does to Anakin’s confession of what happened, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t something to be improved. It’s here that we need to look at a different source link I have for the script that has a few lines of dialogue that ended up missing from the final version. I’ll bold the missing lines for emphasis:

[ANAKIN hurls the wrench across the garage. It CLATTERS to the floor. He looks at his trembling hands. PADMÉ stares at him, shocked.] PADMÉ: Annie, what's wrong? ANAKIN: I... I killed them. I killed them all. They're dead, every single one of them... [ANAKIN focuses on her like someone returning from far away.] ANAKIN: Not just the men, but the women and the children too. They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals... I hate them! [There is silence for a moment, then ANAKIN breaks down, sobbing. PADMÉ takes him into her arms.] ANAKIN: Why do I hate them? I didn't... I couldn't... I couldn't control myself. I... I don't want to hate them... But I just can't forgive them. PADMÉ: To be angry is to be human. ANAKIN: To control your anger is to be a Jedi. PADMÉ: Ssshhh... you're human. ANAKIN: No, I'm a Jedi. I know I'm better than this. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! PADMÉ: You're like everyone else... [PADMÉ rocks him, and ANAKIN weeps.]

Put those lines back in, allow the emotions to come through in the performance, and the scene can work a lot better.

[ADDENDUM: do not under any circumstances misinterpret this as me condoning what Anakin does. It is 100% an atrocity, and even with this amendment I’m suggesting, the scene still needs some work to more fully grapple with the moral and ethical questions of what’s just happened.]

Moving on, we work through the re-added Geonosis scenes, and now we’re at the confession scene in the halls of the Arena. Since the leadup has changed, I’ll provide another full rewrite:

[In the gloomy tunnel, ANAKIN and PADME are tossed into an open cart. The murmur of a vast crowd is heard offscreen. GUARDS extend their arms along the framework and tie them so that they stand facing each other. The DRIVER gets up onto his seat.] Anakin: I’m sorry. I was meant to protect you and I failed. Padmé: I don’t think I did any better of a job protecting you. Anakin: It’s not the same. Padmé: Maybe not, but I don’t want you to blame yourself, or have any regrets. I want to own my choices in the time I have left. And my feelings. Anakin: Padmé— Padmé: I love you. And I’m sorry that it took this for me to say it, I was just—Anakin: I know. It’s alright. Padmé: I had a whole speech— Anakin: If this is all the time we have left, just let us be Padmé and Anakin. Not a Senator and a future Jedi. Just two people who love each other. Padmé: From the moment you came back into my life until my last. [They kiss as the cart begins to pull them out into the arena]

And from there… well, there’s not much left to change in Attack of the Clones, and not much I’d want to change anyway. And since I’m not allowed to change anything that’s not related to the romance, I can’t really advocate for restoring the Seeds of Rebellion arc, since that’s Padmé’s journey outside of her marriage and it only briefly intersects with her marriage as an indication of the widening gap between her and Anakin (BUT IT SHOULD STILL BE PUT BACK IN, JUSTICE FOR MY GIRL). There is a deleted scene of Obi-Wan talking to Padmé about her relationship with Anakin that I would kill to have more proof of, but sadly the best I can do is this screenshot that’s part of a larger Tumblr post (OP, I don't know where you are, but please know that this gifset haunts my dreams):

Yes, you read that right, I wouldn’t even change the veranda scene with the ‘you are so beautiful’ exchange, I don’t care if you think it’s corny, it’s absolutely on brand for two people who have been married for three years but barely get to see each other, and one of them asked the other if she was an angel when he first saw her. It’s okay to be cheesy sometimes.

And that’s my modifications for the love story of Anakin and Padmé. Hope you enjoyed all that.

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