KPOP Masterlist:
A/N: I know I said no angst or death for the time being but this one was a very special request. as I wrote this I drew a lot of inspiration from my own grief process I’ve been going through since the passing of grandmother 2 weeks ago and I just want to let anyone going through the same rn that you can and will heal. It might take awhile but it is possible. I send a big hug to any of those who have or are in grieving. You got this and there will always be a shoulder to cry on hear with an open ear to listen.
Warnings: mentions of death, grieving, depression, angst, caregiving, eating disorder due to grief, gaslighting, (please let me know if I missed anything)
Word Count: 2.0k+
Y/N turned to her side facing away from the door as she heard Yunho’s conversation with her mother outside. Although she could make out words here and there she wasn’t fully processing what was being said as tears and the pounding in her head drowned out most of the noise and any thoughts that wanted to be processed. Outside the closed door in the living room, the two sat across from each other on the couches as they spoke each with a mug in their hands. It had been a rough last couple of weeks since the passing of her father. It was hard for Y/N’s family but she had taken it the hardest and after weeks of being the strong pillar that everyone leaned onto she had finally snapped. Despite her friends and boyfriend attempting to push her to express her feelings and show her grief, she couldn’t bear to do it thanks to her family shoving their own grief into her not considering her own feelings. Y/N’s mom had come to check up on her and although her intentions might have started off like that of a concerned parent it was clear the deeper the conversation lasted that she was still looking for Y/N to be that pillar. “What do you mean she’s not speaking to anyone?” her mother asked.
“I mean she’s not leaving her room, she’s not sleeping, she’s not eating, she has left the bed in days all because she’s been forced to keep her grief to herself instead of having her family support her through what might be the toughest moment in her life,” Yunho said sternly minding his tone despite his anger.
“We’ve all been struggling these last few weeks. She isn’t the only one s-,” her mother continued before being cut off.
“Yet you gaslight for speaking up and continue to push your grief and sorrow onto her not caring about the side effects. I can only do so much to comfort her but sometimes what one needs most in times like this is their family by their side holding their hand along the way to heal,” he explains before standing, “I do apologize if what I said has offended you but I do mean what I say. So if you aren’t here to support her I’m going to have to ask you to leave until she deems it right to see you again,” he says heading to the door.
Yunho watched as she stared at him in shock with a blank expression before collecting her things and stepping out with his words replaying in her head like a broken record. He shut the door heading to the kitchen to serve lunch before. Once he had settled everything onto the tray he made his way to their shared bedroom knocking on the door softly and despite getting no response gently opened the door treading in carefully. Not much to his surprise the room hadn’t changed much. It was almost pitch black and the bed was unmade with Y/N wrapped under the sheets showing no signs of movement since he last saw her. Silently he set the tray of food on the dresser on your side next to your now cold and untouched breakfast. He crouched down laying a gentle hand to cup her cheek and with furrowed brows watched as tears brimmed her eyes. “It’s okay let it all out I’m here, I got you,” he mumbled softly only loud enough for the two of them to hear. He sat on the edge of the bed holding her as she cried for what felt like the millionth time to her and yet patient as ever stayed just like he had since the beginning.
~1 month ago~
Y/N was strolling through the hallways of KQ planning to surprise Yunho on her day off with some homemade lunch. Just as she was about to turn the corner towards the practice room her phone rang causing her to pause. She answered casually before stopping dead in her tracks as she was given the news. As her brain processed the words coming through the speaker Yunho walked out to use the restroom when he saw her smiling warmly at her presence before reading her expression on her face. Knowing her like the back of his hand he swooped in before she could react, catching her as her knees went weak and she fell to the floor, tears spilling as all could do was scream. Yunho picked up her phone and pulled her hair gently from her face as she could only cry in agony repeating, “He’s gone, he’s gone, why? It’s not fair.” That was all he needed to hear to know what the call was about. In fact, it was bound to happen soon enough as the doctors had already warned them about their limited time. It would be a while before the two of them would move. All he could do at that moment was hold her and promise everything would be okay as he attempted to ease her pain.
As she calmed herself Yunho attempted to get her to take a few bites of food to no avail. Anytime he had attempted to interact with her he was met with a blank pained expression and silence. Still, he would speak to her about how he was looking at beach cabins to get away in the next coming week just like she would with her dad. Sniffles were the only things he got in response. He ran his hands gently through her undoing the knots in her hair which had become greasy from being in a bun for days. “Come on, let's get you washed up,” Yunho said. He waited till she nodded softly to move away walking to their joint bathroom to get the water running. Once the water was warm enough he went back to the bedroom carefully undressing her before carrying her to the bathroom and gently settling her in the water. He started by washing her hair before helping her scrub her body down. As he rinsed off the suds she spoke up for what felt like the first time in forever although it was quiet he still gave her his full attention. “Yun,” she said, her voice raspy and dry. He hummed in response, not wanting to startle her. “How long will the pain last?” she asked. Yunho took a pause taking a deep breath before answering remembering his own experience with grief.
“I know most will say it’ll go away but to be honest even as time goes by it still lingers, the pain I mean,” he sighs, “I’m not gonna lie as things remind you of him the memories will hurt as you remember he’s gone but I like to use it as a chance to remember the good times I had with them. All the times we laughed and smiled. All the times we cried and comforted one another. It makes it a little easier and as time goes on although the pain will linger it’ll be bittersweet because you’ll be able to smile fondly at the memory. Even if it’s been years it’s okay if you cry because they’ll be tears of comfort caused by nostalgia. Yes I can’t say anything will come close to their presence but you can celebrate and carry their memory everywhere you go and hope to spread the same positivity and joy to others as they did to you,” he explained, giving her a weak smile.
Yunho finished up before drying her off and taking her back to the room. As he finished helping her dress there was a knock on the door. Yunho excused himself before going to the door, opening it to find a box. He picked it up reading the note posted on top. “I’m sorry about earlier, hopefully, this will help.” He opened the box as he closed the door behind him finding labeled discs. He pulled out a random one labeled “Captain Y/N”. After inserting it into the DVD player he watched as the screen loaded until it switched to show a young Y/N in what seemed to be her childhood home.
~Y/N 7yo~
“I have landed on this strange planet with no trace of alien life and by my side, I have General Daddy to help assist me on our adventure. Say hi Daddy,” Y/N said.
“Hello I’m General Daddy reporting duty ma’am,” he replied to the camera in a soldier stance.
“Quickly we have to find Mr.Pricklepants before any enemies can captort him,” she stands holding her head high in a hero’s pose.
“Capture, captain it’s capture,” he smiles at her befuddled expression.
“Ah yes thank you capture. Now quickly take these weapons to protect yourself from the monsters,” she smiles handing him a wand and toy sword.
The pair run and roll around the backyard until a voice is heard in the distance. “Oh no it’s the alien queen who’s come to capture us and turn us into robots for her army,” she said pointing to the other side of the camera. Y/N’s mom picks up the camera seeing that they are filming their current shenanigans. “What are you guys doing?” she laughed.
“We are here to rescue Mr.Pricklepants and return him safely home,” Y/N’s dad replies.
“Is that so?” She asks, setting the camera down again letting it record, “Then you’ll have to go through me and my tickle army first,” she finishes before running after the duo.
Her dad picked her up, hoisting her up on her shoulders before running away from the camera watching as they battled. Eventually, the pair were caught, the two lying on the floor as her mom tickled her. “Oh no I think I’m being mind-controlled I’ve turned into a tickle alien too,” her dad said before joining her mom in her tickle attack. They continued till she held her hands up in surrender as she yelled uncle, causing the two to stop laying next to her, each on one side. Her parents turned their heads to face her, “I will return Mr.Pricklepants safely on one condition,” her mom said. Y/N turned to face her in response.
“You have to snuggle with mom and dad tonight,” she said, quickly tickling her.
“You have a deal,” Y/N smiled a toothy grin, her front tooth missing.
“What an adventure captain. I think this calls for a celebratory dinner,” her dad says sitting up, “Now who wants pizza?”
“Ooo I do,” Y/N responded immediately raising her hand as she sat up.
“Then up, up, and away we go,” her dad says before sweeping her off the ground and running into the house, her squeals following.
As the video finished Yunho heard sniffles behind him. He turned to find Y/N behind him. Her face was freshly stained with tears but this time a small smile could be seen on her face. “Y/N I’m sorry I didn’t kn-,” Yunho said before being cut off by her shaking her head softly. She wiped her tears before taking a deep breath. “I’m glad you played it,” she said approached him reaching into the box on the counter. He watched her closely as she examined the contents. She read the labels on the disc cases and looked through the photos before reaching what was under them. A stuffed animal still in somewhat perfect condition. She gasped softly carefully picking it up and examining it. In its overalls was a paper. Even though it was small she could point out the smell of her father’s cologne on it recognizing it almost instantly. She nimbly ran her fingers over the stuffed porcupine’s seams. She took a deep breath as she felt the knot in her throat return. As Yunho put a comforting arm around her she chuckled a soft sob as she finally realized what Yunho met by the pain becoming bittersweet. “Do you want me to put it away or do you wanna keep looking through it?” he asked as he wiped a few tears from her face.
“No I want to keep it out,” she said sniffling, “It’ll help me remember the good,” she said smiling softly towards him.
“Well then want to tell me about him, captain?” he said, teasing her.
If I end up tagging moots on either my work or repubs and/or other people’s work it will be the following way unless told otherwise please feel free to let me know whenever you decide to move towards one or the other I will happily oblige.
My favorite dances at the moment is Doughnut by Twice and Tomboy by (G)-Idle
E: An idol you think would be easy to get along with?
I feel like Jungkook of BTS or maybe Jihyo from Twice. For Jihyo, it's because I'm the mom friend, and I feel like we would bond through that. For JK, it's because our personalities are very similar, and the close proximity in age would also help
J: A group you love to jam out to?
Theres many. I think a pretty obvious one is Ateez, BTS, Stray Kids, EXO, etc, but recently, I've also gotten into many girl groups(Itzy, Twice, (G)-Idle, Red Velvet,etc) and soloists. Yuqi, Chungha, Taemin, and Wonho are some of my favorites.
A: Something really attractive that your bias does?
For my top 2 biases, Namjoon and Yunho are both super dorky in their own way, and when they get shy, they tend to lift their should as they smile and blush and its super. (Bonus:Them around or talking about choldren 😭 instant heart eyes as someone with severe baby fever 😍🥰)
