What Your Favorite Hetalia Ship Says About You (part 3)
feat. SwissAus, PruAus, DenIce, ScotNor, SuFin, and HRE x Chibitalia.
Please understand that these are jokes and are not meant to be taken seriously. We're all just here for a goof and a laugh.
SwissAus: You have an itch that the tropes "enemies to lovers" and "bickering married couple" can't seem to scratch. So, you created a new one called "irritable neighbors who glare at each other over their picket fences throughout the week, only to occasionally visit one another when they need something, all with an unhealthy amount of unresolved romantic tension going on just under the surface." You've roasted someone to tears once and didn't feel an ounce of guilt. And your wit is so sharp that it sends guys like Bill Nye to the hospital. And Lord knows you're a force to be reckoned with when cut off in traffic.
PruAus: When you saw people back in the day debating having ship wars between AusHun and PruHun, you decided that Hungary was a strong, independent woman who didn't need a man. Consequently, you also realized that these two were desperate losers who couldn't live without each other. And you know what? You're probably right. You've spent an inordinate amount of time studying European history and are convinced you can go head-to-head in trivia with top scholars from around the continent. I am almost positive you've tried to learn German at one point, but you have/had a hard time getting past the differences between "die, der," and "das." Sidenote, I can't prove it, but I just know you based your personality on one of these two.
DenIce: I'm not sure if you actually ship this or if you lacked a secure father figure growing up and are using this as a way of coping. But hey, if DenNor can work, so can this. Either way, your idea of a "night on the town" really just includes getting sodas, snacks, turning on a fun movie, and somehow forcing everyone in the house to join you in family-friendly board and card games. You may be dealing with some kind of trauma, but you've found a way to be wholesome despite it all. And we love you for it. Except when it comes to the card games. Because Ohana may mean family, but that doesn't mean jack squat in a game of Uno. You are ready and willing to sever decades-long relationships with the use of a wild draw four. You lowkey thrive in chaos.
ScotNor: Out of almost everyone else in this hellscape of a fandom, you have perfected the art of staying in your own little corner. And for that, I must congratulate you, as from my personal experience, that's truly the best way to enjoy fandom. However, you also happen to be someone who genuinely enjoys studying history. That, or you just spend your spare time scrolling through TikToks about Viking raids on Scotland in the late 700s. You're also chill, in that you spend your weekends cleaning around the house with a documentary playing in the background to keep yourself from feeling lonely or going crazy. Lowkey one of the saner people out there. We should hang out.
SuFin: You have baggage. I don't exactly know what kind of baggage you have. I just know that it's heavy enough for you to find more comfort in shipping countries than actually getting into a relationship. Which is totally fair, as the modern-day dating pool could definitely use some chlorine. Your aesthetic is full of wool sweaters, snow days, and the occasional trip out to the middle of the woods to cut down trees for firewood. If you realized you were gay growing up, chances are you latched onto Sweden in particular as a comfort character. Oh, and you are definitely the Mr. Rogers of your friend group. Wholesome, unproblematic, and you just want everyone to get along.
Holy Roman Empire x Chibitalia: With the rest of these, I like to joke around and roast people. But you...You're mourning something, aren't you? Are you okay, sweetie? Do you need to talk? Hold on, let me get you some stuffed animals, a fluffy blanket, a space heater, and at least seven different varieties of hot cocoa. Something about this ship makes me feel like you've been put through the wringer. That, or you are so addicted to melodrama that the local store has run out of tissues due to all your crying. Even soap operas are telling you to take it down a notch. Take it easy, okay?
