Getting Started
I’ve been calling this phase the trial period. My husband has to go away for some training, and he’ll be headed home before the deployment gets rolling, but it’s still an extended period where I’m on my own.
Realistically, it’s going pretty well. Ryder and I are still sorta getting our feet under us, but it’s not in a challenging or bad way. Mostly, we’re just figuring out what our routine will be. It’s been a really long time since I had to take care of no one.
Since moving into our new house in October, we’ve had a lot of shifts. I got my dream job, and threw myself into it. The routines that we built up were to support each other - I would spend the mornings getting our meals for the day set up while he spent the morning getting himself taken care of. Then at night we’d switch, him doing all the clean up and getting the house ready for the next day while I relaxed and took care of myself.
I have no complaints about that system. When we got married, we were reminded that we were now a team, and I’ve always loved that analogy. We take care of each other. We protect each other. We hold each other accountable. Team B-Squared, ready to take on the world.
But without him around, I have all this time in the morning. I’ve been carving out little chunks of time to watch inspiring TED talks, and do longer meditations. I can hog the living room and do whatever yoga I want, not just the stuff he’s getting up to.
Ryder and I went for our first run together since we moved (I know, six months - it’s really embarrassing) and I felt like I had the time and space to talk to all of the neighbors as we passed them.
Being married never prevented that, but being a part of a team sometimes means you put the teams needs ahead of your own. And sometimes, the team needs dinner, a calm wife, and comfy puppy more than it needs to be out for an hour long run.
Logically, I know that I need to put myself first - but it’s nothing something that comes easily to me. Having the space to make my own choices without feeling like I’m not neglecting my husband is a gift, and one I didn’t expect.
I’m sure that in a few months, I’ll miss him more than I love my TED talks, my yoga classes, and my long luxurious uninterrupted baths, but I can’t help to wonder how much I’ll miss this time when I have our first kids. Will I someday beg for the time and space of just taking care of myself for a few months? I feel like I will.
As hard as this will be, I’m going to treasure this time.
While I’m working on building up my own routine, tell me what your favorite part of your day is! What can you not live without? What’s your favorite way to take care of yourself? Let me know in the comments below!