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send ☔ for my muses reaction to learning that your muse is never coming back
The oceannext to the Doctor looked at the short message received few seconds earlier onhis phone.
It was alittle message. It was only words. But they were words full of meaning.
Theillusory world of light in daily life by the Doctor toppled during his secondsin total darkness. The hand holding the phone had started to shake, and he feltready to let go. He couldn’t afford to break his phone. He didn’t hear thecrackling sound, which might be redundant with another inner sound.
“Why….”
His eyescouldn’t break away from his phone, while being aware that every second washurting more. In a desperate move, he put his phone in his pocket, feeling hismind be more and more distant. Clinging to the wall of the TARDIS, hear theresonance of that to try to help him instead provoked brutal sound in the ears.His vision became cloudy, which, very slowly, inwardly, he could feel a greatlight of hope, crack by piece. He could slowly feel the darkness of hisinterior take him, and the drums seemed to enjoy playing with broken hearts. He hadalways had a presentiment that he could fall much lower than he was already,but never imagined confirm it by living it…
“WHY!WHY! WHY! WHY!”
Anger.Distress. His two emotions mingled in him. He wanted to bang your fist againstthe wall but he had no strength. He wanted to weep all the tears in his body,but he refused.
“Whyit had to end like this…?”
It was abarely audible whisper, broken words when he felt immediately guilty awareness he felt more helpless, in a supplication where he would bewrong.
Andfinally, even a little, he sobbed, clinging more to the wall.