#detoxedretox

[heavenlyvanguard]

@detoxed-retox [ x ]

"What the hell about this is cute!?"

In an instant golden flames had surrounded the lion, Michael shifting back into his human appearance. The reason behind his sudden frustration was beyond him, but something-- something bothered him. Besides the horrible pain that came with changing back and his wounds reforming.

"Enemy--? The only one saying that is you! I just came to get my Lord's friend back and yet you bring a small army!"

Michael could feel the blood trickling down his back, yet called his heavenly weapon to his side anyway. The blade, however, is thrust into the ground. Making it obvious that he'll only use it if it's needed.

"There's no reason to fight! This world has seen enough bloodshed! Just hand him over to me and we'll be on our way!"

[bottomstolove]

"I don't know if I love him or the fact he trusts me. There's a difference." One lasts for however long it's fed. The other... it's only the base of any relationship, be it platonic or not.

Len's question brings a soft laugh. It isn't bitter, empty, or joyous. It just is. "If I did fall in love with him, I wouldn't act on it. First... I'd have to know where the three of us stand. Particularly his thoughts about me."

Barbatos leans in and strokes the prince's hair. "You came first. Your opinions matter. I can't lose you. If we drift apart, it's different. But... I'd rather you drive a blade through my heart than stew in resentment for so long I won't be able to reach you again."

It's not poetic hyperbole. No, the archdemon's words are an echo of experience from eons ago, a lost love he can't let go because he can't figure where they went wrong, he can't let go because part of his heart still belongs to Crocell.

He's still not happy about it ( which might just be the understatement of the year ), but the other man's words and reassurances are enough to placate him, to make the sharp and boiling mess of emotions in his chest fade away. At least for now.

"...I hate how easy I am when it comes to you," Len mutters, but there's no real heat behind the words. He sighs, then, and tips his head into the touch of Barbatos's hand, his own coming up to rest atop it. "Driving a blade through your heart... That's so dramatic. And you know I'd never do that to you."

The blonde falls silent for a long moment. Something conflicted flickers through his eyes, before he seemingly decides on something, and he looks back up at Barbatos.

"...If you ever do think you're...falling in love with him, then...I'd want to meet him. I'd want to know who he is and what he's like."

[bottomstolove]

"...Would you be mad if I fell in love with him?" The question lives at the back of his mind, a constant thought when he's trying to think of other things and he has to know Len's thoughts on it.

Barbatos taps the damned ring because he can't imagine no longer being angry at its existence. The ring is just a reminder of how trapped he is.

"...From the way you're asking that, it sounds like you already have." There's a bitterness in the prince's voice, but he's no longer so sure about who or what it's aimed at anymore.

Blue eyes glance down at the ring adorning the archdemon's finger. It's a beautiful piece, certainly, but that's all - it's a piece of jewellery, a thing, and yet Len can't stop the resentment he feels towards it and everything it symbolizes.

"...Before I answer, let me ask you something first; what would you do if you did fall in love with him?"

[bottomstolove]

Len, when Barbatos reaches for a book, you notice the light glint off of a ring that shines with the colors of the rainbow. [>:3]

At first, he thinks it's a trick of the light ( or, rather, it's what he tries to convince himself of ), but it only takes another glance to see that it is, indeed, a ring. The sight makes his heart drop and his throat tightens painfully, but he swallows down the hurt, tries to school his expression back into something a little more at ease, carefree, like always.

There's nothing he can do about the way his hands tremble, though, as he slowly turns the pages of his own book, not reading a single word.

"...So it's true," Len finally murmurs, not looking at Barbatos. "Why didn't you tell me that...that you're already married? I think I deserve to know at least that much..."

[bottomstolove]

Interesting... you're royalty, but you never once thought Barbatos could be trapped in a marriage? Your father must truly love you, Len.

"...H-huh...?"

Len sniffles, confusion mixing in with the emotions wreaking havoc within him. He wipes at his eyes, absently, tears still occasionally slipping down his cheeks, as he ponders the question.

"...Wh-what do you mean?" He finally asks, uncertain. "I thought-- isn't it a marriage he...wanted?"

[bottomstolove]

Why's the question got you so sad? Len, you're a human with your own destiny laid out in front of you. One day you'll take your father's place and guide your kingdom forward. And... Barbatos will outlive you, just as he's done the other human lovers he's took over the eons.

Perhaps he's better off with someone that shares a long lifespan.~

Oh.

That...hurts. That really hurts.

He's thought about it before, of course ( how could he not? ), but to have it laid out so clearly like this is unexpectedly so much more painful than the prince had been prepared for.

"So, what? Just because I'm human, I'm not allowed to be with him for the short time I have in this world? I know he'd be better off with someone else like him! Of course I know that! I'm selfish, but I'm not stupid! And because I'm selfish, I want to be the only one for him until the day I die!"

Tears are welling up in his eyes, obscuring his vision, threatening to spill over with just another blink.

"I'm the worst and I know that and he should know that by now too and if he's just playing around with me while he already has a spouse waiting for him at home, then I'd--!"

Aah, he's crying. Anger and hurt and frustration and helplessness over the insurmountable differences in their lifespans swirl together into one painful little cocktail.

"I know that they'd be able to give him what he needs better than I ever could, but I-- I just... I'd rather he throw me away himself if all I am to him is just a plaything, because I'm too selfish to step away on my own. Even if that's what would be best for him."

[bottomstolove]

Say Len, what would you do if you found out Barbatos is married? Just hypothetically speaking, of course.~

"...What's with that? Are you telling me that he actually is--"

No. It's only hypothetical. It doesn't mean that Barbatos is married. This could just be an attempt to get a rise out of him, too.

...Still, the thought makes his heart sink into the pit of his stomach and the anger that one might usually expect from the prince is instead replaced with something more...hurt. And sad.

"I...I don't know," Len finally answers, voice uncharacteristically quiet. "I'm aware that some kingdoms have rulers with several concubines by their sides, and I know that it wasn't that uncommon here either a few hundred years ago, and... ...Barbatos is a demon. Surely there are traditions in his world that I'm not aware of. I just..."

The prince goes quiet, lips pursed and brows furrowed.

"...I don't want to be anyone's...mistress. If that's all I'd be to him, then...then I'd rather..." He doesn't finish that sentence, because it hurts to even think about, and he'd like to believe that Barbatos would at least tell him if he already had a spouse. "...I don't know what I'd do. Not that it matters, though. It's all hypothetical anyway. Right?"

[bottomstolove]

“You’re very light on your feet.” [-pushes barbatos at len-]

"Heh, I have been trained in ballroom dancing since I was a child, after all~"

Still, despite the tinge of arrogance in his words, the smile spreading across his lips is bright and pleased and a little bit proud. Perhaps it actually was worth it to suffer through those unbearably boring dance lessons, Len thinks as they move across the wide expanse of the ballroom together.

Are his steps suddenly a little more confident, a little more smooth? ...Maybe.

"I'd be happy to teach you, if you want~ ...Mm, then again, you're not too bad yourself, so I doubt you'll need it."