EZRA YOU ARE THE COOLEST TO ME. i love talking with you and i love seeing you on the dash and i love like spamming each other on the sideblob AND I LOVE every time i get to read your tags. also i'm so happy and š„ŗ that we pushed akira and joelle one next to the other in a corner and told them. now communicate. bc i love your ocs and i'm honoured that you would share lore with me š did i already say i adore you?? I DO!!!
7. What's their most and least favourite thing about each other? While Fenris truly admires how fearless Eden can be, unafraid to speak her mind and act according to what she thinks is right without caring about the consequences, he also hates how careless and impulsive she can be, he doesn't like that she rarely thinks before she acts, and that she can be quite stubborn sometimes. Eden really likes his determination and his devotion to his cause, she'd say it's hot, what she doesn't like is that he can be just as stubborn as her, they butt heads a lot the first few years of their friendship, and not so much after they get together.
13. How do they express love for each other? Do they have compatible love languages? I'd say quality time is both of their love languages. Neither of them are good with their words but they thoroughly enjoy each other's company, finding it very comforting. I think they're also very good at communicating without words, with just a look they can offer the support the other might need. This doesn't mean they don't make an effort to express themselves through their words, it just means that when they do it almost feels way more intimate and meaningful.
19. What values do they not share? How do they reconcile those differences? The most notable issue that comes up a lot the first few years of knowing each other is, of course, the mages debate. Eden is a huge advocate of mages' rights and won't sit idly by while knowing mages are still being oppressed, she often sides with Anders when it comes to these matters (and even more so with Merrill, thinking there's nothing inherently wrong with blood magic as long as it is not used for the wrong reasons), which Fenris obviously dislikes, quite a lot. But the thing is, a big part of Eden's life has been affected by magic, both of her siblings were killed by darkspawn and her mother was killed by a blood mage, yet her view of mages never changed. She understands where Fenris is coming from though, and makes the effort to meet him in the middle, but she makes it clear that to her, mages aren't dangerous or evil because they're mages but because they're just bad people. I think there's something that she says after completing the 'All That Remains' quest (I could be wrong and maybe Hawke says this after one of the other many encounters with blood mages lol) that's basically like, Quentin killed Leandra because he was a madman, not because he was a mage, he could have easily killed her with a knife if that's what he truly wanted. So yeah, it's curious to Fenris how she has suffered so much at the hands of mages but she never even thought of changing her mind. I believe he'll always be wary of them because of what he's been through, but she can help him be a bit more tolerant without invalidating his feelings.
send some numbers and the names of the couple!Ā (+ you can find my oc directoryĀ here)
ezra devilbraker.
you have fantastic taste. like from music, film, style, you get it. oh also fantastic taste in fictional men. like 10/10. you're always right in my eyes. you're funnee and nice and literally someone i feel i'd get along with irl
TREMBLING HANDS [x]
characters >> nick vossler (oc), vitali dobrynin (oc)
context >> november 2067; it's the morning after this fic takes place, vitali is in college and in general not dealing with everything that's going on in his life well
total >> 2.2k words
warnings >> alcohol mention, drugs mention, nick being a bit of a dick in general, nsfw mention, portrayal of a toxic relationship (these men make each other worse)
The old and decrepit apartment building in the Glen was freezing cold. Not all that surprising for that time of the year; and stacking overdue electric bills had put an end to Vitaliās access to the placeās central heating, but he was not allowed to complain. If anything, he was lucky to still be able to call it his home at all to begin with.
He woke up with a throbbing headache and a heavy weight pressing down on his chest, and despite the good amount of sleep he had managed to get he still found himself struggling to properly wake up. His ailments were the result of mostly dehydration- though taking the amount of drugs and alcohol in his system the night before, it was safe to assume it was not the only problem at play.
Vitali rarely suffered terrible hangovers. Nothing a glass of water and an ibuprofen couldnāt fix; and whenever he had classes the next morning he still always showed up on time, wearing his best fake smile as always and a mood that was still of questionable quality but never worse than it usually was.
Though that morning was different.
The bleak sunlight that poured in from underneath the curtain of the single window in the living room barely raised the temperature inside his apartment. All it did was cast a single, bright ray of sunshine directly into Vitaliās eyes, an annoyance greater than his comfort on the twin size mattress on the floor to the point he found himself unable to fall back asleep.
He groaned and carefully rolled himself on his side, dragging the covers with him as he slowly attempted to get up. His entire body was sore; had not slept in the greatest position, but the sex heād had with Nick the night before- pressed against the wall of the expensive nightclubās hallway- had absolutely not helped either, and the moment he finally managed to stand up he nearly sank through his knees again from the pain in his upper right leg.
Consequences of his own actions.
Vitali knew better than to wallow in his misery, well aware he had caused it entirely himself, no one else to blame. It was not as if he would learn; next week he would make the same old mistakes all over again, a broken record doomed to play on repeat until his trembling hands would lose their grip entirely and he would spiral down into a freefall.
He managed to find his way to the kitchen, still wrapped in the covers as he opened one of the mismatched cupboards to look for a clean cup; could not find any and instead took a dirty one out of the sink, rinsing it a few times before pouring himself some apple juice.
His gaze caught his phone as he brought the glass to his lips, the cracked and dirty screen lighting up from the kitchen countertop beside his keys and wallet and showing- nineteen unread messages and eleven missed calls?
āWhat the fuck?ā he mumbled under his breath, lowering the glass again and setting it back as he grabbed his phone instead, blanket over his shoulders dropping down on the floor.
Unsurprisingly so, all of it was Nickās doing. It would not be the first time he had obsessively tried to get Vitaliās attention; far from it, in fact, a man desperate for validation as well as forgiveness each and every time he had done something wrong. Though as far as Vitali was concerned, nothing out of the ordinary had happened when theyād seen each other in the club- and his curiosity was winning over his exasperation.
Naturally, he did not hesitate when Nickās name popped up in the middle of his screen again.
āWhat do you fucking want?ā Vitali asked, voice possibly a little harsher than he had meant for as he quickly pulled his half-opened flannel back over his exposed shoulder when he heard loud knocking on the front door. Nick did not respond at first- and Vitali quickly figured out why, swinging the door open and instantly being met with the other man, holding up his own phone with an annoyed frown on his face.
āEleven fuckinā times, V,ā he said, lowering his hand at the same time as Vitali did. āWhatās wrong with you?ā
āTwelve, actually, counting this one,ā Vitali simply spat back, demonstratively hanging up and tossing his phone back on the kitchen counter from where he stood. āAnd youāre the one showing up at my place at fuck oāclock in morning.ā
āItās two in the afternoon!ā
āSame thing.ā
Nick cursed under his breath and stepped inside, tugging on Vitaliās flannel- drawing a protesting, somewhat startled scoff from his lips- to then button it all the way to the top.
āYou need to learn to put on some clothes,ā he muttered, brushing some of Vitaliās hair out of his face to prevent it from getting stuck between the buttons. A surprisingly gentle touch; Vitali sometimes forgot he was still capable of that, after everything that had happened.
āIām wearing clothes.ā Vitali paused, noticing Nickās eyeroll and he punched his shoulder in response, not too hard but not being playful either. āComfort of my own home! Get out if you donāt like it.ā
āMore clothes,ā Nick sneered, gesturing at Vitaliās mostly naked legs. āAnd wear āem properly. I could see your tits.ā
āSo? Youāve seen them before. Did not hear you complain yesterday.ā
āItās freezing in here!ā
āWhatās your fucking point, Nick?!ā
Vitaliās voice nearly echoed through the whole hallway behind the other man and silence washed over the apartment, both of them taking a few steps back at the same time. Vitali watched as Nick clenched his jaw and briefly turned around to close the front door, then vaguely gestured around into the room.
āWas worried,ā he said, and shrugged. āDidnāt hear anything from you when I texted if you got home safely. Jackie couldnāt tell me where you were. Jen has me blocked now, wasnāt of any fuckinā use either- no idea what thatās all about. Where did you go?ā
Vitali was not entirely sure how to answer him.
He could barely remember it, was the truth. Everything that had happened after he had walked away from Nicky in that sweaty and suffocating hallway was merely a blur to him now, though he did remember spending another good hour or two stumbling around before he had been able to find his way to the exit.
He vaguely remembered the rain; could vaguely recall getting soaked and taking a cab elsewhere, the air-conditioning inside freezing him down to the bone. He had not gone home yet- had needed more to be able to forget, to wash off the feeling of Nickās hands on his body and to drown out the voice in his head screaming at him to stop and go home, get his act together while he still could.
āTook the long way home, I guess,ā he finally managed to say, hesitance dripping from his lips with each and every word he spoke and Nickās eyes narrowed a little.
āCouldnāt find a moment to text me back?ā he asked.
āDid not think youād care.ā
āOh, thatās foul.ā
āUsually you donāt. I donāt know what you want me to say.ā
Another silence as a sharp, exasperated sigh left Nickās lips and he averted his gaze to the ceiling. Acting annoyed, but on the losing end- Vitali was right and both parties knew that very well, Nickās sudden concern entirely out of the blue considering he usually left his phone off for several days after an argument.
āWhy are you really here?ā Vitali asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest and taking another step back, keeping as much distance between himself and the other man as possible. Not out of fear; moreso disgust, unable to believe heād let Nick do whatever he wanted to him, again, the money much needed but the aftermath and the memories of it embarrassing him to his core in a way he hadnāt even known was possible.
Maybe Jenny was right this time.
Not as if that mattered much. She hadnāt reached out to him at all anymore.
āI just- wanted to apologize for yesterday,ā Nick mumbled in response. āWasnāt all too nice to you, from what I remember.ā
āYou werenāt, no.ā Vitali paused, licked his lips, and gestured at Nick. āGo ahead. Apologize.ā
āI just did.ā
āYou didnāt.ā
āFucking hell, Dobrynin-!ā
āWhat! Saying you want to apologize is not the same as apologizing-ā
āYouāre so fucking pretentious, you know that?ā
The sharp edge to Nickās voice made Vitali scoff and he sucked in a shallow breath, adrenaline rushing through his system until the hairs on his arms stood up straight. His body was bracing itself; not expecting a physical blow- even Nick knew better than to sink that low- simply another mental one, a blow to his ego he would carry with him into the next week until his next mistake would come along and take its place.
āMaybe youāre right,ā Nick bluntly said and threw up his hands in exasperation. āMaybe I shouldnātāve come. Youāre not making it very easy to be worried about you, you know that? And then one day when you do need the help I wonāt be here. No one will.ā
āRight, because every time before today when you werenāt there for me by your own fucking choice, that could not have happened, of course,ā Vitali mockingly replied and gestured at the door. āYou are just trying to cover for yourself now. Get out if you donāt have anything nice to say.ā
āI love you.ā
The statement caught Vitali a little off guard and he slowly lowered his hands, standing unmoving as Nick walked closer to him and cupped his face in both hands, strands of Vitaliās long, bleached hair getting caught between his fingers.
āI love you,ā he quietly repeated himself, thumbs running in circles over Vitaliās cheeks, āand I just wish youād let me.ā
Vitaliās eyes slowly moved over Nickās face- the little marks covering his cheekbones, the acne scarring roughening the skin of his cheeks and jaw, the little bump in his nose caused by a broken bone that had not healed all too well-
He reminded him of Mikhail, sometimes.
But they were not the same.
āIāve given you enough chances and you walk away every single fucking time,ā Vitali quietly replied, moving up his hand to place it over Nickās and he softly kissed his palm. āWhat do I need to do to make you stay?ā
Nick couldnāt answer. And Vitali knew that.
Both of them had fucked up more than enough times; both had walked away before, justified, sometimes not, in the heat of the moment or when things just got a little too boring for their liking. They got annoyed about everything they were and fought about everything they were not and instead of talking things out like normal people they would get drunk, get naked, and pretend like nothing had happened the next day.
āYouāre complicated,ā Nick finally said, gently brushing some of Vitaliās hair out of his face.
āSo are you,ā Vitali merely replied, making a biting motion at Nickās hand who in response cupped his face and leaned in closer to kiss him, a somewhat metallic taste to his lips Vitali could not quite place.
āI love you,ā he mumbled into the kiss, slowly draping his arms over Nickās shoulders and pulling him closer until there was no space left between their bodies. He broke the kiss and buried his face in the crook of Nickās neck- and the other man reciprocated the hug, one hand on Vitaliās back and the other in his hair.
āHave somethinā to eat, take it easy today,ā he quietly said, slowly pulling back and fixing the collar of Vitaliās flannel. āIāll see you again tomorrow, okay?ā
āOkay.ā
The silences that followed were always the worst.
Watching Nick walk away again, leave through that very same door he had only just arrived through and wishing he would stop, come back inside, stay just a little longer. Whether Vitali had fucked it up for himself this time or not, he was no longer sure; it was impossible to tell what Nickās true intentions were. Vitali usually was nothing more than a stopover to him.
And of course he wished it was different. If he could have it his way, Nick wasnāt such an asshole all the time. Wouldnāt just be using him for his own pleasure, wouldnāt just come and go as he pleased without taking Vitaliās feelings into account. And in return, Vitali wouldnāt have to return the attitude.
Had Nick even started it all? He wasnāt all that sure anymore.
Vitali scoffed at nobody in particular and walked through the room to the window, sitting himself down on the windowsill to stare outside. He was still cold, but it did not do anything to him anymore- his head was elsewhere, and the shivers running up and down his spine were the least of his worries.
