Peter: We have a problem.
Lois: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.
Peter: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me!
Chris: We're the best thing that ever happened to you?!
Meg: Then I feel sorry for you.
Meg: While I'm gone, Chris is in charge.
Meg, whispering: Stewie, you're secretly in charge.
Penelope: My life isn't as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look.
Stewie: Stop asking me if I'm gay, or bi, or whatever. I identify as a THREAT.
Chris: You love me, right Roberta?
Roberta: Normally, I'd say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don't like it.
*When someone asks to copy the homework*
Hudson: I can help you with it!
Doug: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.
Susie: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!
Stewie: If you had to choose between Doug and all the money I had in my wallet, which would you choose?
Olivia: How much money are we talking about?
Stewie: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.
Stewie, tearing up: Okay.
Cleveland: Before you go go!
Quagmire: When September ends...