#dezzy audhd

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Teaching yourself to stim freely after years of teaching yourself to stop stimming is so fucking hard.

There’s some stims I’ve never been able to fully suppress (rocking in my seat, playing with my hair, chewing on the inside of my cheeks and my lips, and several others I’m sure), but there’s still several I’ve stopped myself from doing and it’s so hard to accept that it’s OK to flap my hands in public or rock on my feet or hum.

So reminder to myself and anyone that needs it: you can stim. Unless it could get you in trouble or physically hurt (in which case, I am So Sorry you’re in that situation), you can stim and it’s ok and you’re not doing anything wrong

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So fun fact about me! Sometimes if I get overwhelmed or anxious or something, I will loose speech (also known as going nonverbal but we are changing that term so we don’t take it from people who are nonverbal always). I didn’t tend to this as a kid, but in my early teens it started to occasionally happen. It’s a relatively rare occurrence for me.

Also if anyone is curious, this doesn’t really affect my tics. I can still have vocal tics when I can’t talk, though I often have less.

Today I lost speech (still can just barely say anything) because the restaurant we went to was too loud, after I had already had a lot of conversation today and a last minute plan change (the restaurant we wanted to go to was unexpectedly closed). With the use of the minimal amount of ASL I know (and the even less my mom knows), facial expressions, body language, mouthing words, and messaging on my phone, we can still communicate pretty fine! Luckily the people I’m around are good at understanding and accommodating me. I didn’t even need to tell my mom I lost speech. She could just tell, and acted accordingly.

Anyway! No real point to this post. Just saying stuff. Feel free to ask questions or talk about your own experiences :)

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I used to get kinda dejected when I’d see those posts about how we need to stop treating ADHD like autism lite, or using ADHD and autism almost interchangeably, because my ADHD Did feel like autism lite. Turns out I related to autistic struggles because I’m also autistic

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Hardest part of unmasking (for me) is feeling frustrated that some elements of masking are still needed. I still need to put effort into my tone and volume so people don’t misunderstand me. I still need to be careful when and where I stim and tic. And it’s tiring

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Keep having the overwhelming needs to tic and stim almost simultaneously wtf. I don’t think I’m stressed or anything??? What is Happening

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Having confirmation about having autism is so interesting. I keep looking back at my childhood and seeing so many things that make sense. I never felt completely alienated like I lot of people talk about, because I was homeschooled (and my brother is also autistic). And that always led me to be certain I couldn’t be autistic because I didn’t feel completely out of place. Idk. It’s interesting to fully accept and embrace this about myself and stuff. I’m just rambling for a moment lol

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Welcome to Dezzy tics! I’m Dezzy (or Dez)! I’m autistic and have Tourette’s syndrome and ADHD (combined presentation). I talk about it on this blog!

Tag explanations:

dezzy tics- any posts to do with my personal experiences with tics

dezzy audhd- any posts to do with my experiences with audhd (these posts may not include things about tics)

Asks are always open! I love talking and my neurodivergence is a fixation of mine