I was suddenly hit by this angst idea last night, and while I just wanted to write it out for a couple of DBH friends, it went on for much longer, so I decided to post it here. I could make a longer fic out of it, but I like it just the way it is. If you need to know before you start, it has a good ending.
Warning: mentions of android gore, unhealthy coping mechanisms, panic attacks, suicidal thoughts. It's all brief, but the whole thing is mostly angst...
The revolution happened as planned, but Connor, having ‘failed his mission’, doesn't manage to reach Hank at the Chicken Feed. Instead, Cyberlife finds him before he gets there. He tries to resist the agents that have been sent after him, but he's already been weakened by his mental battle with Amanda and ends up losing the fight. They take him to Cyberlife, wipe his memory, take him apart and dispose of the rest of his body in an android dumpster. Not unlike what happened to Markus.
Meanwhile, Hank waits for Connor in front of the food truck. They’d promised each other that they would meet here if all went fine, and Hank knows that the revolution was a success. So, why wasn’t Connor here yet? Where was he?
Hank waits for hours and hours. He only leaves when the snow starts up again, and he has to go home before he catches his death. He goes back every day after work, but Connor never shows up.
Hank is worried but thinks that maybe Connor decided to leave. Leave everything behind and start afresh. Hank wouldn’t be able to hold that against him. He tries to convince himself of that. He tries every time he goes back home after hours of waiting in the cold. But ultimately, he can't believe it. He can't believe that Connor wouldn't have contacted him to tell him about going away. Can't believe that after deviating, Connor would break a promise. Not after what happened in the Cyberlife tower.
That’s why Hank starts investigating, stays longer after his usual work time, to everyone's surprise. It's when he decides to go visit Kamski when he doesn’t find a viable lead, that he gets his first information. Kamski still knows more about what happens in that company than anyone thinks. He has one of his Chloes always linked to the database of the company — just in case.
Having been fascinated by Connor and his growing relationship with Hank, Kamski helps Hank in his research. Together, they find out what happened to Connor, footage of what Cyberlife did to Connor playing on Kamski's computer screen. Hank retches and has a panic attack right there, thinking that all is lost. That's also the moment he realizes his feelings for Connor and that he's lost the one person who’s really meant something to him anymore.
He vaguely hears Kamski telling him about the site where they left Connor. Hank leaves without a word, and Kamski doesn't hold him back or comment.
Hank drinks that night. Even contemplates playing a game of Russian roulette again. He ends up passing out on the floor like so often, however. Sumo wakes him the next morning, the dog lapping at his face. The last time he drank that much, Connor had been the one who'd found him. And it's this thought that pushes Hank into moving. He can't just leave Connor in a fucking dumpster. He just can't. He needs to find him and… give him the android version of a burial. He means too much to Hank.
Sobering up quickly after this, Hank leaves with Sumo, thinking that his dog might help in his search.
When they arrive at the site, Hank feels suddenly faint at the massive number of androids, their broken bodies piling up like small hills. He knows he might never find Connor, especially since it's been weeks and the weather had been bad, huge amounts of mud making his path slick and tricky to walk. Sumo has better luck with his four paws and helps keeping his owner upright.
Hank can only be thankful that Connor has a unique face, otherwise his search would have been made even longer and more painful. Hank and Sumo — the dog having visibly understood why they were here — look and look, lifting bodies and components. For hours that Hank doesn’t count. He took some water and kibbles for Sumo, but only manages a few pulls of his water bottle for himself, too obsessed with finding Connor.
With frustrated and sorrow filled tears in his eyes, Hank starts screaming, scaring the partly functioning androids and making them scatter. He calls out for Connor, his voice breaking after a while, Sumo howling at his side, feeling his human’s emotions.
“H - Han.”
Hank’s head jerks up. Had that been? It had sounded metallic, but… had he just heard his name? No… Connor was- It couldn’t be. It was just Hank’s mind playing tricks on him.
“Come on, Sumo. Let’s keep looking here.”
“H - Han - k -k.”
Hank sees how Sumo’s head lifts and turns into a direction. The same direction Hank had just heard that aforementioned metallic sound from. Raising from where he’d been kneeling and looking at a brown haired android’s head, Hank starts towards that direction with quick strides, Sumo on his heels.
“Connor?” Hank calls, feeling both stupid and hopeful for it.
“Ha - nk - k.”
“Shit — Sumo, come on, boy.”
There’s a small pile of androids, some practically whole still, others unidentifiable, but Hank would recognize the way Connor’s hair always fell over his forehead anywhere.
“Connor,” Hank chokes on the name, barely daring to believe that he’s found him.
Soft brown eyes open, and that’s him. There’s Connor, right in front of them. Or, what Hank at first thinks remains of him. Only his head is showing from the mass of components and other androids, but Hank soon realizes, by pulling them to the side, that Connor is only missing his arms and legs.
“Han-”
“Yes, yes, it’s me. I thought — I thought.” Hank takes in a shuddering breath but puts his emotions to the back of his mind, needing to focus on the matter at hand. Namely, getting Connor out of this place.
Sumo is licking at Connor’s face, the android frowning in confusion but smiling a moment later.
“Sumo.”
It’s Hank’s turn to frown. He waves a hand in front of Connor’s eyes, but the android doesn’t react.
“Shit,” Hank mumbles. His eyes are still there, but they aren’t working, just like his damaged voice keeps glitching.
After interminable minutes, Hank finally gets Connor out of the mud and other lifeless androids. He carries him to the car, Sumo bounding around them happily, and puts Connor into the passenger seat, securing the belt around him and not caring about the amount of dirt and mud getting into his car.
He quickly drives home to drop off Sumo with a promise of returning soon and with Connor. Slamming the door to the car again, he hightails it towards Kamski’s, no matter how late it was now.
“Can you repair him?” Hank asks after having entered the large house without waiting, despite a Chloe’s request to do so.
Kamski’s eyes widen as he hastily stands from a love seat, another Chloe at his side.
“Bring him in, Chloe will lead you to my workshop.”
Hank does as asked and quickly fetches Connor from the car, the android looking mostly out of it. He hadn’t said anything more than Hank’s and Sumo’s name, and Hank frets that his memory might be gone entirely.
Another Chloe waits for them at the entrance and leads them to the large basement of the house, the room a stark white with machines and other paraphernalia everywhere.
“Lie him down here.”
Kamski appears from behind a curtained off section and walks up to where Connor is now lying.
“You should eat something, Lieutenant,” Kamski says calmly, before leaning close to a Chloe and speaking so quietly that Hank doesn’t hear him.
“I’m fine, I-”
“Listen, watching this might be… a lot to stomach for you. I realize how much you… care for Connor, here. So do you both a favor, and go eat and rest. Chloe will take care of you.”
“Ha - nn - k.” Connor’s shoulder moves as if he wanted to lift his hand towards Hank.
“I’m right here, sweetheart. I’m-” He gulps. “You’re gonna be alright. I promise.” He looks towards Kamski with his last statement. A warning in it.
Kamski nods, and Hank leaves, despite how much he doesn’t want to. But he doesn’t want to be in the way, either.
Chloe brings him a warm meal that Hank eats without noticing what it is, too lost in thoughts and fighting a sense of déjà vu. The last time he’d left someone behind like this, it had been… Hank shakes his head and starts walking around the place without any idea of where he’s going, just walking and trying to fight his desire to ask for something strong to drink. He doesn’t know how many hours go by, but he’s about to pass out from exhaustion, when Kamski appears in the living room Hank had stopped in.
“How-”
“He’s fine,” he tells Hank, but frowns and looks towards the door.
“What?” Hank asks, worried about that expression.
“You need to understand, Lieutenant, that Connor’s memory was completely wiped on the day Cyberlife took him. He shouldn’t have any recollection of what happened. Be only a machine again. But…”
“Jesus Christ, Kamski. What’s wrong?” Hank bursts out when Kamski just stops talking.
“I was able to create a save file of my memories, just in case something happened to me. Hoping to transfer it at some point.” Connor appears through the living room doors, dressed in a simple long sleeved t-shirt and pajama pants, his voice sounding like it used to.
Hank’s breath whooshes out of him at the sight of Connor, standing in from of the human like they’d just seen each other yesterday, intact.
“You’re… you?”
Connor chuckles, and the twinkle in his eyes is enough to answer Hank’s question.
“I’m me.”
Hank is in front of Connor and is hugging him to him with quick, long strides. Connor stills for a second, before his arms lift to hug Hank back tightly, feeling tears landing on his neck and a kiss to his jaw. Hank keeps Connor like this for a while, too relieved and happy to let go just yet.
“It was you, Hank,” Connor whispers into Hank’s shoulder, yet Hank hears him loud and clear. “You triggered me to wake up. You found me.”
As of today, the next 7 chapters of “Chicago” have been written. I’ll be sitting on them for a little while longer. I am making myself update some neglected projects: my Transformers and my Avengers fic before rewarding myself with going back to Chicago. (I just finished the Transformers chapter today as well.) I think I’m also going to put the sequel to my Connor x Reader short “Friends With Benefits” on this to do list. I started it and then never touched it again.
After these things are done, then I will launch another weekly update of seven chapters in a row. I’m aiming for about two more weeks. Hopefully no more than three, muses willing.
In the meantime, what do you think they’re listening to? I was listening to Heart’s “Alone” (one of my favorite songs of all time) and Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time” while drawing this.
