Sick of meeting doubles of names etc from my own life. How could they get this so fucked up. How after so much already by age 10 could they seriously use someone else and make me live what was meant for them, a super F. Mad annoying and dangerous when I'm the real one. And how have I not yet hit record. Gained weight so I could blame it on something but honestly my ass got to music video standards before I finally ate at 30yrs old. Can't wait for my trust fund because it actually is so hard to accept that while still working but having done so much already I haven't been paid, still haven't been able to buy mama a house, still haven't worn the fanciest shoes in existence, still haven't attended a gala, honestly what do you have to do. What's left throw my reputation away publicly to cause a scene? Leak my own sex tape? All the things I was holding my nose too. Apparently work and effort means nothing. Apparently heart and soul is better pretended on whoever and not appraised or appreciated to the rightful owner. Apparently if there's no money being shown to the right person thats not the only way they want to upset them. Don't put their name, don't let them participate in person with the masses, don't let them see the inside of a studio even from a distance. Why was I starving next to my parents for six years. I asked for a piece of toast and got screamed at. Why would you choose the one person I asked you to ignore, you have the whole world to choose from. Is that supposed to be my diss? Thanks, I guess, but shit. I was the one that asked and dreamed all the time and now I'm hearing my thoughts in voice and it hurts. And when trying to remember moments from my adult home life I'm getting hurt. Not to mention I still can't picture or remember my childhood room. And the photos. I actually found some amazing ones from my amazing childhood and glorious moments with the gparents and had them posted on Instagram and for some reason they deleted my account. I wanted to be able to look at them anywhere, now I don't know when I'll see my innocence again. And it's being challenge with interactions of strange (not just because they're strangers, but ethics or lack thereof completely defy what I believed in humanity for the past several decades.) How have you not taken the time when you've taken so much in other ways -- thank you -- to fix my voice in time so the phone wouldn't disconnect with my grandparent, that I still don't have money to visit. In the latest place I tried to escape to a person within my first week there said something about "the stalker life" and hands moved like supposed cousin from cheo e(f) and I need Myself the one day like I did when I was a kid from the stage fright they tried to get out ahead of time. I need my panic attacks to think. Cool and thank you that we were alive at the same time thanks for letting me live, and for college. "She's allowed college" okay great. And I'm still rapping and writing but it would help if I was finally away from the people who said "I don't want my ____ talking like a black person"
