“I’m attracted to pie, but i do not feel the need to date pie.” + dielliot!
some s2 elliot being bitter when he first meets lila <3
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It had taken Elliot all of two seconds to figure out there was something going on with Diego and the chick from the mental hospital. And if the way Five was watching her meant anything, he noticed as well. Or maybe he was just being a distrustful bastard like usual. Either or.
As they creeped towards...wherever they were going, Elliot wasn't really paying attention, he grabbed Diego's arm to stop him from moving.
"What? Are you okay?" Diego asked, resting his hand on top of Elliot's.
Elliot nodded. "I'm fine. Just have a question for you."
Diego's eyebrows creased in confusion. "What?"
"Did you fuck the crazy chick?"
He would have laughed at Diego's face if he wasn't so prepared to maul him to death like a pissed off tiger.
"No! No way!" Diego exclaimed. "I'm loyal to the bone! Am I attracted to her? Yes, but-"
Elliot could feel his patience ready to snap like a rubberband. “I’m attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.”
"Who said anything about dating?"
Far ahead of them, Five shouted, "Can you two assholes have this discussion at some other time? We have more important matters at hand right now."








