#difm

[n7punk]

nobody comment on beg for me anymore

[n7punk]

im prob reading too far into this but ur response to the collaring question really recontextualizes the title of the series: "Do It For Me". it's not just a catchy/sexy little phrase that sounds like a dom command/something catra might even say to adora. it reflects what u said about bdsm and sex in general: do what works for you and your partner. "Do It For Me" is a brilliant title because the whole series is about catradora figuring out what DOES it for them, ie what works for them as a couple

"Do It For Me" is a song by Rosenfeld that is actually... kinda about sexual manipulation, but has a lot of sexy dom vibes at the same time. It was on the Beg For Me playlist, and like you said, had the dom vibes for when I went to name the series, but it was also about the more emotional side of the relationship. Adora respecting Catra's boundaries and listening to what she actually wants instead of, say, working herself into the ground and totally ignoring Catra as a result because she thinks succeeding is what Catra needs rather than doing what she actually wants. Catra taking care of Adora, respecting her boundaries as well and meeting her emotional needs so she doesn't feel like she has to kill herself to be loved. They both had things they needed to do for the other in order for them both to be healthy, especially healthy together.

Adding onto the context of doing what works for sex and BDSM wasn't in my initial inspiration for it because that was kind of "covered" by the sexy dom-orders side, but you are absolutely right!.

thank you but it has been a calendar year since the first fic XD i still have a list of like ten fics for the series, i just haven't really had interest in writing BDSM or smut in general, but that's why I went for the one fic in the series that wasn't outlined to have any LOL. there's been a couple times when ive been like "damn i really want to do that one" because it was a really interesting topic to explore to me. my entire outline for it was this: (glimmer and bow having a kid) "I cant believe we're settling down and you're wearing a fucking collar to work"

yall 😂 i knew someone was going to say this when i put an M fic in the series, but this fic was very much about the emotional side of their relationship and smut just didn't make sense for it. i never would have finished it if it had a more detailed smut scene than what is already in it. any other additions in the series would be E though. like i said, i have a long list, i just haven't had an interest in writing them so far.

[n7punk]

Is a collaring ceremony real, or did you invent it for the story?

oh yeah, lets talk about this! disclaimer: i just know what i've researched online. under a read more because it is Certainly a kink and related to one i can see being triggering for some even though i dont go into it, so just to be safe. ill talk about the ceremonies first and then why i chose to do my own bastardization of it LOL

(note that people do wear collars outside of this, im talking about in the context of collaring ceremony specifically. you can also enter this kind of relationship without using collars. I saw discourse about "velcro collars" that "cheapen the meaning" of true collars while researching this lmao).

collaring ceremonies are real. Typically it's something that happens when committing to a full-time D/s or M/s relationship with someone. from everything i have seen, once the collar goes on at a collaring ceremony, it stays on and you stay submissive for your dom (until the time you decide to dissolve the relationship, but usually youre Pretty Sure Of It at that point). It is a massive commitment, just like being married is, and something you discuss and plan with the same level of seriousness.

the collar itself may be subtle, or it may change if you have like, a day collar to wear out, a normal collar you wear at home/at kink events, and play collars or whatever, but i've also seen people who straight up have a steel collar their dom put on them two years ago and has never come off.

(side note, the materials and look dont matter so much as what you use it for. as i say in the fic, collars typically belong to the dom. play collars are collars used for sex that dont have power outside of that, which is what catra and adora have up until catra gives her the necklace - and kind of still all they have at the end of the fic)

collaring ceremonies can be private like what i had in the fic (i believe this is the most common practice), or they can have friends and "family" in attendance, or even be held in a public dungeon or something. i read a transcript of a public one while researching. they are a lot like weddings (in the ceremony at least) and are treated with the same weight. the dom is usually fully dressed and the sub may wear anything ranging from formal wear to just the collar.

for the fic, i adapted it, because i whole heartedly believe thats what you should do with bdsm and sex in general: do what works for you and your partner. in this case, they decided to have what amounts to a private collaring ceremony where they exchanged vows and their hopes for the relationship before catra finally put the day collar on adora, but adora isn't collared in practice, it's just a kinky engagement necklace (which i know the people who complain about velcro collars would hate, but again, i think what works for people's private relationships is their business. there's also people outside of the scene wearing o-ring chokers as a fashion statement, let people live).

i learned about collaring ceremonies while doing my initial research for beg for me and immediately knew it was was what i wanted to do for their wedding/proposal in a later installment in the series, both because it was something new and different i was never going to write/research otherwise, and because this whole fic kicked off with adora being stressed out by a wedding and not great with their planning. seeking out an alternative for their own marriage made sense in this au and it rarely does since i headcannon them both as big criers at weddings, so i thought it would be fun to explore. i also wanted to, once again, explore how catradora’s trauma intersects with their experience of bdsm when it came to the collaring.

writing this was very much a stab at the dark, but it was an interesting challenge! im glad to have finally written it after having it on my list for a year

[n7punk]

its a one shot, i say through gritted teeth

[lpmissy]

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[clu3io]

Send us mixes to be featured

[lpmissy]

Check out a great show! #REPOST @djchristinaashlee with @get__repost__app A new episode of Electronic Agenda airs today on DI.FM!! 🎉 Link in my bio ➡️ 3pm PT/6pm ET #difm #diradio #digitallyimported #radioshow #techtrance #hardtrance #harddance #melodictrance #upliftingtrance #december #podcast #trancegirl #trancefamily #trancefamilyla #repostandroid #repostw10 (at Baltimore, Maryland) https://www.instagram.com/p/CYZgXb-LuzU/?utm_medium=tumblr

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