#dig douglas

[hcourageous]

imagine you’re fifteen and you’ve been trained to survive and you purposefully separate yourself from your friends and family because you don’t want them to see you fight because you know if you see the look on their face when you fight they’ll try to protect you and it’ll get in the way and you love them and you can’t stand seeing the pain of your lost innocence reflected back at you so you fight until you dislocate your shoulder but then you get to the target, sneak behind them, and stab them in the back, only for their dying words to be that you are just like your enemy—

if only you cared about that

—you have given up on comparing yourself a long time ago

—and you can’t be, you couldn’t be if you want to, because if there’s one thing you have that they don’t is regret—

but you were trained for this, and you trained yourself for this, so you reset your shoulder

and you’re fifteen-years-old

[hcourageous]

sometimes you play a teen for the goofs for the fun other worlds game and then it turns out your dad is an alcoholic and because of his ex military trauma he hyper focused on teaching you survivalist skills and self defense and you shot your first gun at age ten and you carry the hunting knife he showed you to use everywhere you go and your mom is just trying to get you out but you can’t understand because no one is telling you the truth and then you fall in a hole with your crush and the neighborhood weirdo and the kid on your street and enter another world that’s connected to other worlds by ladders then you fight and fight and fight because you can fight and learn how to use this non combative power as a combative person and you talk to god and your mom dives in after you and you have to rescue her from the world at war and then you meet your moms college girlfriend and you hate her because you hate your parents divorce but then she sacrifices herself to save your girlfriends twin sister so you throw yourself into the fray to get her back safe and rescue a new friend but fail rescuing your moms girlfriend and feel like every day you’re going to die but you have to fight because everyone is counting on you and you’re childhood is over because you’re the voice of a rebellion because you can speak through worlds and you can speak to the world and the final battle is coming and you have to live because you made a pinky promise and because martyrs don’t actually get to change anything they just die but only if your mother knew that and only if you could have your childhood back but you can’t so you scream about the hypocrisy of being protected when there’s nothing left to protect you’re a soldier you’re a fighter you’re a messenger you’re a girlfriend you’re a daughter you’re afraid but you have to keep on fighting because that’s all you were ever raised to do and it’s all you know and when it comes down to it you never had a childhood at all you were a soldier from age seven but dad is sober now and you have one shot to save not just your world but every world

[hcourageous]

haunt these motherfuckers, if you will

truly, my greatest one liner

i need branded t-shirts

[hcourageous]

dig: my gender is *various noises of battle and teen angst*

[hcourageous]

yva: i can’t kill jula if i do my niece will be harmed

dig: skill issue

[hcourageous]

dig: i’m non binary but if i had to pick a gender it would be “knows the power of a good leather jacket and how to hide several knives on their person”

[hcourageous]

dig: i’m not a girl, but i do identify as a woman for the 3:16 runtime of Kesha’s “Woman”

[hcourageous]

dig: i don’t identify as a girl i identify as a motherfucking problem