You wake up to the buzzing sound of your alarm. you yawn slowly rise up stretching your arms out.
10:09am, waking up at this time should had been expected, since your late night drive lasted longer than usual coming home at 2 in the morning.
Checking your phone with messages from your friends
[Rising global pop star sensation Lara Raj ] Monday 11 8:40am
- Y/n
- y/n ur really late again, get your ass to school rn
[Meiyok] Monday 11 8:41am
- dude y/n Mr Brennan is pissed
- u r so screwed for chemistry
Getting your shit together, you walked down to find a note on the table.
Double shift today, dinner money buy Pizza or something!
Love you!
-Mom
Your mom worked as a doctor and double shift like this was normal. After your dad left you guys at a young age (you couldn’t care less about him), it’s been just you and your mom. She would always say “it’s us against the world buckeye, I’m always going to have your back no matter what” Buckeye was the nickname she gave you, as when you were a baby you would play with little buckeye seeds, often throwing them at her.
You pack your school stuff, slowly getting ready for school. After reading the note you couldn’t help but feel a little guilty for not putting enough effort in school. But everyday the dread of school kinda water downs your motivation and guilt.
You grab your skateboard and skate your way to school. If you’re gonna be late, you’re gonna do it with a little fun. Making it to school in a reasonable hour considering you took your dear time.
Casually you walked into the hallway, ignoring the obvious looks from teachers, who lost hope in stopping you knowing the outcome.
Slowly you make your way to your chemistry class, opening the door, trying to nonchalantly take your seat.
“Miss l/y/n, come to my desk now” Mr Brennan sighes out
You roll your eyes giving Lara and Megan a knowing look as you know he going to repeat the same thing he does everyday.
“Yes Mr Brennan, sorry I’m late, I’ll be on time next class” Giving him the same excuse, at this point you’re just reciting it like a script.
“Miss l/y/n, not only are you late again you are failing my class, please visit the tutor center today as I have assigned a tutor. If you don’t, I will involve your mother into this discussion”
Your face goes pale, not because you’re scared of your mom, but you don’t want her to stress about you anymore. Her plate is full and you couldn’t burden her anymore.
You take a deep breath calming yourself, “Yes, Mr Brennan, I will visit the tutor center, don't worry” you give a cocky smirk trying to keep your emotions straight.
The rest of the chemistry class comes to a blur, you sat in the corner of the room, staring at this bird that is injured, its limping as its brother and sister fly away, the leaving the injured bird to being left behind. You can’t help but see the irony as you are just like the bird. Stuck in the moment, chasing while others fly and leave you.
In a blitz of time the bell rings signally the end of class, you start packing and making your way to Megan and Lara.
“What did Brennan want” Megan asks curiously
“Nothin’ much just the usual but… Lara I can’t work with the beats with you cause apparently I have tutoring now!” You explain with a very convincing puppy eye.
“You got to be kidding me, I’ve been waiting for weeks, girl you're doing me real dirty right now” Lara continues “your puppy eyes aren’t working on me y/l/n” ughhh what am I…” Lara continues rambling about the house beat being urgent business, as you just zone out staring across the classroom, your eyes locking at Sophia, you stare into her eyes noticing the different shades of brown in her iris and the hit of sadness but you just keep looking into them. she quickly breaks the eye contact and packs, leaving you behind.
“Still not talking to her” Megan says as she notices the tension
“Who you talking about” you reply coldly, masking the shivers you feel.
The rest of school was the same boring stuff, honestly you do well in school like you aren’t a A+ student but you weren’t failing any classes, well except for one. It was like Mr Brennan has it out for you. He was extra strict with grading deducting points for shit he couldn't even tell you. Like if he was going to strong you out like that you would rather drop AP chemistry.
Now because of him your afternoon is stuck in the tutor center with an overachieving nerd that would probably judge you for being here.
You walk in and check yourself with the supervisor and she assigns you a seat explaining that your tutor will be here in a minute.
You sit down on this wooden chair back facing the door as you wait patiently. This school really is bad at using their funds, I mean there is top level science labs but the tutor center is still this old library with some books and a bunch of wooden chairs and tables that are spread out for 1 on 1 session.
The room has a musty smell, a combination of decaying paper, old wood, and sometimes a hint of mold or mildew. Any longer here and you could just kill yourself.
Then you hear the door open and you turn to see a figure at the door. The ray of sunlight hits this figure perfectly and the familiarity makes you want to hide in these chairs. Because your tutor is Sophia Laforteza.
————————————————————————————---------------
AP chemistry is a difficult subject but not for Sophia. The class came easy to her like a walk in a park. Although she does admit class with Mr Brennan is boring, all she could do was talk notes as he constantly talks. Then the door slams open and of course she walks in. Y/n. She walks in with an unusual sense of confidence for a person coming in to class 40 minute late. Sophia doesn’t understand how you could keep up with the hardest AP class without showing up. I mean missing one class could be the difference between an A and a C. But obviously you would barely attend, you’re reckless and irresponsible.
Sophia shakes her head, trying to focus on class and do everything in her ability to forget about you. Time flies faster than the speed of light, cause it’s the end of the class. Sophia thinks about you again, wondering ‘if she sneaks a glance now would you notice’
She turns slowly and what was suppose to be a cheat sneak became full eye contact. Her body tensed and mind broke as she made eye contact with you.
Sophia just stared at y/n, cause all she could do was stare. Y/n had change a lot and Sophia hated that. Then she noticed that their eyes where locked, and Sophia could she the hatred and pain behind her eyes.
You just kept staring, until Sophia came to her senses and broke the eye contact, quickly packed as she couldn’t stand it. Right as she was about to leave Mr Brennan stops her and asked here to stay back.
When Mr Brennan ask Sophia would do tutoring for a troubled kid that desperately needed help, she didn’t picture you.
At first she hesitated, I mean she knew she was the top student in her whole grade but tutoring that was a different difficulty. But hearing this kid was struggling Sophia did Mr Brennan a favor and made her way to the tutor center.
As she opened the door, she saw a single figure sitting down. From the figure alone she knew it was you.
I mean of course god had to play this cruel curse. Not matter the distance god played the game and brought you in Sophia’s life.
Sophia makes her way to you with an unreadable expression.
You just smirk “really, got to give it to Mr Brennan, he really knows how to make my day shittier”
“Hello y/n, let’s just get this 2 hours done. We both don’t want to be here but you kinda need me right now” Soohia replies coldly.
“Your still a almighty bastard aren’t yo-” as your face starts to heat up a little bit from her snarky comment you guys hear from the back
“Both be quiet, I’ll report this to Mr Brennan, so I suggest to start” your supervisor says coldly.
Sophia and you both nod as you guys lower the bickering and trash talk.
“Can we just have a truce here” her face softened as she asked you.
You just nod, opening the chemistry textbook to unit 6 thermodynamics.
Sophia leans in without thinking, and starts "okay, so lets look at this question, so if we look at this equation-"
You intrupt "we find the Standard Enthalpy Change first right, plugging in values from the reactants and products"
"Yah..." she looks up surprised as she watches you work on the questions.
Both of you work silently letting the quiet hum of the air conditioner fill the noticeable silence. while you work Sophia can't help but look back at you admiring your features.
She hates how you still affect on her being able to do nothing and she still loses her focus.
"ahem, do you mind" You smirk, trying to push her buttons
"yah- uh sorry, can I check your work" Sophia said trying to keep her cool, she scans your work, seeing that all the question are correct.
"okay, we are all done here, meet me next week same time and we will go deeper into these questions."
You just nod, packing your stuff as you quickly left the campus. You couldn't stand being in that room any longer.
Sophia stood there in the empty hallway watching you walk away, she felt a weird sense of deja vu as she sees you walk away.
————————————————————————————---------------
You started a group call with megan and lara, as you needed to tell the girls of your traumatic tutor tension.
"y/n, are you still free for that house beat" Lara shouts over the loud music.
"yah lara and I are in my house right now working on it, I don't want to hype myself to much but its lowkey fire" Megan voice echos through your speaker.
"I'm on my way right now, Be there in 15" You rush on your skateboard as you cut the call.
Skateboarding is your safe haven, when you were 6 your mom saved up for months to buy you your first skateboard. Ever since then you have been using the same beat-down board. As the wind tickles your face, you look at the sundown and enjoy the beauty of skating down at the golden hour.
You give a quick knock on the familar doorstep, enter and giving Mrs Skiendiel a quick wave.
"Good afternoon Mrs Skiendiel, beautiful as always" you joke
Mrs Skiendiel response with a laugh "Thank you, how is your mom doing"
"She's doing great, Thank you" You smile as you climb up the stairs to Megan room.
Bursting into the room to hear a funky beat working and Megan and Lara dancing crazy to it. You instantly vibe with it "Yahhh bitch, Get it up" you shout out.
The three of you work on it for a solid hour and create what you guys called a masterpiece.
"So how was the tutoring, who is the lucky nerd that get to tutor you" Lara says
"Yah, the nerd happens to be …Sophia"
"Sophia LAFORTEZA, like SOPHIA your ex, SOPHIA" Megan shouts spilling the drink she had in her hand.
"yah there is only one sophia, jesus, here" you pass her a napkin "calm down"
"Girl you can not tell us to calm down, when you are litterally getting tutor by your ex" Lara pushes back
"It wasn't that big of a deal, I mean we barely talked and got shit done..." You started to fiddle with your hoodie strings. The tutoring itself wasn't that big of the deal, but the way her eyes would look at you tugged your heart string, the pain, the good times and everything in between. The tension was unreal, it was like a cord being pulled waiting to whip back at any moment.
"Thats it, like no arguments, fights, I still don’t forgive her" Megan asks clearly invested in your love life
“Calm down mei mei what with the aggression, I bet you she thought of making out” Lara jokes
"Ok first, ew I would never make out with her in the tutor center that place is a dump, and second can't you trust my word when I said nothing happened"
"Ok so... you would make out with her if it wasn't for the tutor center" Lara teases you, giving megan a smirk.
Megan just stared at the you, “I’m just saying after what she did be careful”
Lara continues “Yah, be careful especially when you guys work on chemistry, right” trying to get a reaction out of you.
"Oh fuck you lets go back to the beat" you playfully slapped Lara and faced the computer.
————————————————————————————---------------
Meanwhile, sophia was contemplating taking this whole tutoring. "Yoonchip~ why did I take this stupid thing" she cries out lyin down on the youngers bed.
Sophia and the younger friendship is truly unique, Yoonchae came as a exchange student from South Korea and Sophia being the leader and golden student she is volunteered to be her personal guide, her family also became her host taking her in for the whole semester. Ever since that day the two have been stuck like birds of a feather.
"You're a good unnie thats why!" She tries hard to cheer up the now slumped older girl. "y/n can't be that bad right, you used to be good friends"
"Yah, Good friends..." Sophia says as she stare up at the ceiling
-Flashback 12 years ago-
Sophia was a little girl, bright, energetic and parents would stop to admire the beauty and cuteness that she had. Everyday she would go to the playground, playing tag with the other kids, always being the center of the attention.
Then in the corner of the playground she spots you, squated in the corner, alone, your mom nowhere to be found.
Sophia felt sad for you and walked towards you, holding her hand out.
"Do you want to play hide and seek with me?" she smiles sweetly, eyes shimmering, the look that no one could say no to. You nodded slowly, reaching out for her hand. Little did sophia know that changed everything for you. After that day you would go to the park everyday and play with Sophia.
You always wondered if you didn't reach out for her hand, if you never met her kindness would you still be the same.
She had a lot of friends but she would alway claim you to be her favorite. Griping your arm as she hung to you pouting, she would always say "if I am not with y/n, I am not playing" That always got you with your stomach churning a different way and heart beating slightly faster.
6 year old you already knew, that this ball of sunshine would own a piece of your heart, and as long as she wanted to you could steal it and keep it forever.
After your mom got you your skateboard, Sophia would always sit in the edge of the skatepark watching you hobble and ride down the park.
6 year old you wasn't good, especially with a board twice your size. But everyday you would go to the park and everyday sophia would watch you cheering you on when you stayed on your board.
One day you were trying to one of the high slopes, as you glide down with speed you slip, scraping your elbow badly. You wince going to sophia and she would look at you worried.
"oh no y/n, are you okay. Here I have a band-aid" her small hands would pour water on your wound cleaning the blood away and wipe it. Finally with a with a smile she would place the plaster on your wound. and as if to place a magic spell on it, she gave it a kiss.
You blushed heavily, young you red as a tomato. "thank you" you mumbled hiding your face away.
"Your welcome" she would giggle out "Okay so now land me a trick!"
-Present time-
Those simple times really was everything to the both of you. Before the fighting, before the mess. If you were both given a pill to go back to change the past, the both of you would change the past. But different times.
Sophia, she would change her whole junior year, but you, you would probably change the day you met. You won't reach out for her; not because you don't want her in your life, but because you don't want to ruin hers, the perfect life that she designed. You saw yourself as an anomaly in the perfect world of Sophia Laforteza. She was the golden child, smart, kind, pretty and you, you lived in a trailer with your mom, you barely showed up to class and the type be to get voted most likely to be a addict. She was the sun and you were the cloud that everyone hated to see coming. Your life was poles apart yet intertwined in a hot mess.
"Yoonchip, I-" Sophia sits up contemplating on telling the korean about her twisted past with y/n, after a quick thought she thinks that the girl is not ready and just lets it go. "Goodnight, I'm going to sleep" She gets up and pats the younger head.
"Goodnight... sleep well" Yoonchae noticing the older girls hesistation but decided not to push and give her space.
Sophia walks into her room and drops down to her bed as she just stares into the ceiling again. Y/n she was suppose to be nothing to you, just a random past that she left behind but today rehashed it and now she's all confused again.
Sophia settles in her bed, letting the pillows and mattress swallow her whole, just anything to forget you.
-Sophia dream-
Sophia was running away as you chased after her.
Sophia shrieked as you caught her from the back, and lifting her up. "I got you and I'm never letting go" you exclaim as you hug her closely. Sophia starts to laugh as you tickled her.
“ I give up, let me go” she laughs out, then she falls on top of you turning as she nuzzling her face in your neck.
This was by far the best first date that the both of you have been on, after being friends for years, you finally made a move and ask her on a date freshman year.
It started awkward date at the beginning but ended like a romcom, with the both of you dancing in the dark holding on to each other closely. You could feel her heartbeat and she could feel yours.
The world disappeared as the both of you melted into each others arms. You slowly look down at her and whisper "I bet you didn't notice me take a bit of your hair" smirking. Sophia pulls away shouting "y/n I swear to god you better be joking" quickly checking her hair strands.
"I'm joking I would never damage your pretty little hair" You tease, ruffling her head.
"You're lucky your cute" Sophia says blushing
"Oh I'm cute" You give a cocky smirk testing her, then all of a sudden the sky dims dark red, Sophia doesn't remember this part, everything is pressuring.
Your face turns dead serious, glitching as the pain is evident "Then why did you break my heart, WHY" as this fake version of you shouts, lunging at sophia- Then she wakes up.
Breath heavy, heart racing in fear. "It's just a dream, calm down Sophia" she tells herself. Slowly her breath eases but her mind is racing, why are in the her dream, haunting the good memories with her. She scared to go back to sleep, scared you will appear again, she scared of her mind and the tricks it would play.
So she just stares at the ceiling trying her best to erase this version of you that doesn't exist.
