#dildos why

[ask-smokescreen]

Hey Smokey! How big is your interface toy collection? (Cuz we know you have one, do not deny it, even Optimus has some)

...

50 cubic meters. Probably. I've filled at least one closet with dildos. Starscream's old closet, I think. I end up with a lot of dildos since for some reason it sometimes starts raining them.

Don't ask!

[ask-smokescreen]

It's raining dildos on you

No it's not!

[ask-smokescreen]

*Glues a spike to your forehelm and also one where your nose should be* You are now a UNICORN! Go, be free you majestic creature you!

...

/Tries pulling off the horn, and bending it to try to break it off./

Whoa, is this what having a nose is like?

It's weird. I can kinda see it and it sticks out of the middle of my face. Weird.

...

These aren't real spikes, right?

[ask-smokescreen]

any progress on the fusion dildo cannon?

Agh, I didn't see this in my inbox!

But I need more dildos to test it out. I've got some target practice for it, too.

[ask-smokescreen]

I see the Dil- in your advice meme for the autobot clone person and the first thing I think you were trying to say is Dildo.

What makes you say that? I might’ve been thinking diligent. Or Dilate. Dilute. Dill. Dildoe?

[ask-smokescreen]

All right, Smokey, the Dildo-matic Long-Range Anti-Aircraft Device is a go. Any convenient jets around?

... You made that?

Like, you actually made that?

And you need a jet? Here you go!

[ask-smokescreen]

*even though the Tentacles have no mouth, the dildo currently held in their clutches is being investigated and moved in a 'sucking' motion*

Uh-

What are you things doing with that-

What is that supposed to be? Are you even getting anything from that?

[ask-smokescreen]

*throws a decently sized dildo to the tentacles*

Uh-

/Yep, the tentacles just grabbed that dildo./

Why, Anonymous?

Why would you do that?