#dimisdump

[dimiclaude13]

emotion warning: idk random thoughts

I think emotions are something personal everyone experiences in their own way more or less, and there's something in that that makes it even prettier. Still, I found what I've grown to call the Holy Trinity that lives in all of us, especially artists: nostalgia, faith, and fear.

They are so different and far away but somehow so tied to each other that makes me sad, happy, and dizzy all at the same time (even though not in the same quantity each).

Faith is my favourite one. However, I'm Fear's favourite. This was clear since I've chosen to love Faith. Let me explain: Fear covers herself with faith, a velvet dress; a soft touch, gorgeous, classic, but too superficial. The dress is wanted by everyone, what they dont know - what we don't know - it's how easy is it to take off… two straps down and. That's it. That's exactly how it works with the faith. If we just delve for a moment in her, we'll find what's underneath: insecurity, angst, whatever. Just like the dress that looks so comfy and hot, the faith is just coating. When you take it off, you will discover a naked, shuddered, and damaged skin. There is nothing to see there or to analyse. Every scar - physical or psychological - you remember it. It goes from the time you cut your finger to the time you realised nothing would be the same. Like never. You can blame Nostalgia for that, don't worry.

That's why I like to perceive them as family. You have to talk and greet every member of the house when you walk in in order for you to get to the one you want. Overall, we must be polite, of course!

To be honest, I enjoy myself sailing through this dubiety, as a so called writer, I find appealing the notknowing, having no idea of what's for me next (maybe it's made for me to write). That angst, it pushes me so strong like I hit this keyboard to form these words, these sentences that you are reading now. Far from being a romantic (not in the love-way, more in the 1800s way), at least there must be something we can get from it.

I get into the dark cave, the one I'm forced to face, with my small light that can shine the place to know where I'm going -the faith- so I can keep going forward, or I might have to turn right. Even though I've spent so much time there I dont know really how that is. But, hey! Don't worry, from all caves it's possible to get fossils, minerals or at least a nice picture.

We all overlooked one crucial point, myself included. Who'd think that a dirty pebble with just a bit of care could turn into a jewel? I used to ignore that, but now i won't ever again. Cause, thinking about it again, with a light, crossing that cave may give you some benefits. The fear is bad and dangerous, like that hole in the ground (yes i use it a lot to prove my point) but it's necessary in order to get that shiny stone, to evolve. To visit one emotion, you must pass through the hallway of the house and chat with the others.

I'm still afraid of that with the velvet dress, but if im her favourite I must acknowledge her, as always: I must be polite (of course!)

when i´m posting this its christmas eve, so happy holidays ig (this ve been writen for moths lol, but i was too lazy) , im here to ruin them to you. these are random thoughts, it feels unfinished but i still gotta live more so it will make sense, trust me. hope its not cringy, and feel free to share what u think, bye.

[dimiclaude13]

i've been thinking lately in the concept of family.

The family concept has been widely divided into two statements that might seem contradictory at first: Ones - the most traditional people you'll ever find - would say that family means bloodline and a set of experiences attached to it. Others - more open minded, if you wanna say so, - would argue that family is the people who take care of you and give you a safe environment to grow in and not necessarily someone with whom you just share genetics.

Even though I firmly believe that a bloodline is not important in whether we should consider someone as family or not, I do believe that shared experiences are a must.

Maybe it's me who is a bit sensitive, but ain't kindness and community the foundations of humanity? With the second definition on mind, wouldn't everyone be your family? Don't get me wrong, that sounds good if a little (too much) utopian. And yes, the world is a hostile place, but not all who help you are willing to forge a strong emotional link with you... they're just... humans. People are nice, or at least i wanna think so (or even we NEED to).

For me, what really makes a family it's kinda a mix of both definitions. Isn't it funny that everyone is right in a certain part of what family is? (but it makes sense, at the end of the day, everybody is part of one or will be, so you can't be wrong or, at least, not at all) .

Family is people who have lived experiences similar to yours that will guide you because they decided to do so. And I find beautiful. And I know this that I'm saying is not new. But it's something everyone needs to realise. And words don't occupy space, so here they are. Also, reading it and even vocalise it is necessary sometimes. Thoughts can be buried in fear, emotive actions, such as reading it or finding someone who shares your thoughts, can't be left apart, just fought, but they'll end up winning.

After knowing what family is, I know that I have the best. And I'm not exaggerating. It's not big, but it's mine. And I wouldn't change it.

Before we end up, I've come to find curious the concept of chosen family. Family doesn't appear just because. Family is not magic, the only magic there is what you can feel (at risk of sounding corny af) when you're together. And it doesn't need to be necessarily romantic, the person you love the most could be someone that comes imposed such as your brother, a friend you met in hs or your boyfriend. Who knows? But family is not chosen, family is forged like a sword that could slash all the badness.

I've got so much left to say, but my fingers don't know how to type their way through these feelings. Writing this has taken several days (and it's been honestly thanks to someone I consider like family overcoming his fears, which has made me not only write this but to post it). I don't know why because words have come like a rush, like a cascade. Simply, I wanted to use the best letters, the best points and comas, the best spaces. I feel that it's been this way due to the emotional attachment I've got to it (and honestly, everyone has it). I'm finding this repetitive, so i might cut now.

Long story short, family loves you, knows you because they have lived with and through you. And it's just good. I love my (chosen) family.

-Dimi.