Who to fight from our little group of nerds
Cailin:
Who would win: Cailin
Don’t even think about fighting Cailin. She will fight you to your last breath and with hers whisper “noot noot” in your ear. Even if you do manage to take her down once she will revenge herself upon you for the rest of the night. Don’t fight Cailin.
Lily:
Who would win: Nobody
Nobody wins if you fight Lily. Why would you fight Lily? Lily is an adorable little cat who has done absolutely nothing wrong. You could probably take her, but it would make you an absolute asshole. Don’t fight Lily.
Ellie:
Who would win: Ellie
Oh sure, you might win the actual fight. But in the ensuing battle of sarcasm and puns she will have your ass. By the time she is finished with you, you will be wondering who the true winner is (hint: it’s not you). Fight Ellie. It’ll be hilarious for the rest of us to watch.
Mophe:
Who would win: You
Sure, Mophe is strong and probably capable of kicking your ass, but he’s nice so he won’t do it. Instead you’ll probably best him by tickling or sheer determination. After a while he’ll give up. Wait a day and he probably won’t even care. Fight Mophe.
Zander:
Who would win: Zander
Zander is a tank. If you fought Zander there would be no fight, just him standing there as you tried and then eventually giving in and simply wrapping his arms around you. There’s no way you’re getting out of that. You would only look dumb trying. Don’t fight Zander.
Meghan:
Who would win: You
Meghan is small and fierce, but she’s not fierce enough for how small she is. You can take her. She might shriek loudly at you while you do so though, so it’s up to you to decide if it’s worth it. If you don’t mind going deaf and having curly hair flung in your face, do it. Fight Meghan.
Zach:
Who would win: You
C’mon, you could probably take Zach. What would be the point, though? I mean, what point are you trying to make with this? You know what, you probably won’t actually get around to fighting. He’ll likely tell you something just believable enough that you don’t realize it’s bullshit until too late. He’s already gotten you off topic now. Good luck getting back to whatever it was you were doing. Don’t fight Zach.
Catherine:
Who would win: You
Yeah, you would definitely win in a fight against Catherine. Like, why would you fight Catherine though? Are you fighting about One Piece, Pokemon, or Ace Attorney? If not, don’t fight Catherine. If you are, go ahead and fight Catherine. But at least make it look epic.
Kathy:
Who would win: ????
Really, nobody knows. Sure, Kathy may seem more likely to talk your ear off about music than anything, but she carries around large instruments on a daily basis. She can sit up straight for hours. That kind of determination could be bad in a fight. It might not be worth the risk. Don’t fight Kathy.
Jessie:
Who would win: Jessie
Oh, sure, the fight would probably never happen. This is Switzerland we’re talking about here, totally neutral in conflict situations. Just like Switzerland, however, she’s a powerful force if you manage the near-impossible task of pissing her off. Once the fight starts there are no boundaries any more. Don’t do it. Don’t fight Jessie.