Henry knocked, then immediately sauntered into the room and threw himself sideways into the nearest chair, his legs hanging off an armrest, ankles crossed. Dirk Cresswell had come recommended, as a good place to start if he was trying to finally get a handle on his “money situation” (his manager’s words, his his). Spending three years hopping around the world, living out of a rucksack and eating like a raccoon, meant that he hadn’t really spent much of the money he’d been earning, both wizard and muggle. And he wasn’t sure he wanted to live in his sister’s spare bedroom forever.
“So, Dirk, you do...” he pulled off his sunglasses, finally looking at the man behind the desk, and wiggled his fingers in his direction. “Money stuff?”
It felt odd in a way to be sitting across from Dirk, odder than it had since the time when he first became engaged to Gisela and Alaric repressed a sigh. It seemed as though lately the world had been out to cause him trouble in the form of everyone he’d once slept with, but at least things with Dirk weren’t bad and he didn’t plan on letting that fact change. “It’s good to see you’re okay, I’d been wondering.” Alaric admitted finally, tapping his fingers against the side of his cup and hearing his ring click against the side, something of a nervous habit he’d never managed to break. “You were there, weren’t you? In Hogsmeade for Halloween?” Of course he was, Alaric had seen him. “I remember you’re not any better with a Patronus than I am. Or you used to not be.” @dirkcressed
Henry ran a nervous hand through his hair, forced himself to even his breathing and quiet the butterflies- moths, Sybill’s voice chimed in in the back of his head- in his stomach.
He didn’t really date. Not with any longevity to it. It had been so long since he’d had an official first date, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d made it to a second. But lunch with Dirk last week had been so delightful that the warm glow from his company had lasted for days after. Even when he’d politely refused Henry’s invitation to come home with him, Henry’s attraction wasn’t dimmed. He could respect people’s boundaries, could perhaps respect that Dirk was playing hard to get. It didn’t mean he wasn’t going to keep trying, though.
He was just finishing laying out the giant blanket and picnic basket beneath the tree he’d chosen when he spotted Dirk a bit of the way off, heading toward him on the cobbled path. He was, of course, perfectly on time.
Henry had planned to let Dirk come to him, perhaps lounge alluringly on the blanket with a glass of butterbeer waiting, but he found he couldn’t bring himself to wait. He took off toward Dirk, meeting him halfway down the path, grabbing one of his hands and pressing a kiss on each of his cheeks. When he pulled back he could feel his face burning and flushed.
“Hey,” he said breathlessly. “I was- I was planning to be a bit more dignified with the- the greeting. But. Couldn’t help myself, I guess. Has it really only been a week? I- I’m rambling. How are you doing?”
He ran another hand through his hair, looking away, glancing back when he couldn’t help himself. Time had clearly done nothing to cool the spark he felt around Dirk.
I hate that I understand, but I do. My life has been marked by waves of acceptance- for all the wrong reasons- and violent rejection on society’s behalf. Even now I’m learning just who I can rely on, based on which friends and contacts will still talk to me, and which have decided I truly am nothing more than the base instincts that comprise one half of my blood.
I don’t know nearly as much about you as I wanted to, but given what’s happened I can guess precisely why you’re leaving. I don’t have enough words for how stupid this is and how cruelly unfair to the both of us. You have a place in this world, and those who would accuse or deny you on the basis of blood are the meanest, lowest kinds of fools.
Please don’t say goodbye. That implies permanence, and I’m not sure I could take that. We had so little time together but what we did have meant so much to me. I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about you, to the point where I probably jumped ahead more than a little, at least in my own mind. I like you so much that if there weren’t a war on, I’d almost certainly ask where you are so that I can just bring the next date to you. But I’m a registered creature now and the Ministry has decided I’m hostile, so even if I could justify leaving my sisters, I don’t think I’d be allowed to pass customs.
I can’t promise not to do anything reckless, especially when it comes to defending your good name- because you are good, and you’re so kind, and so smart, and just so wonderful, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop being furious at what was done to you-, but I promise to be careful about it, if you promise me something. Stay safe, but don’t bury yourself. You have so much to offer people, and there are so many amazing places to see beyond this dreary little island. I don’t know if you plan to stay where you are for long, but if you travel I’ve got plenty of recommendations, and if you ever need somewhere to lie low, I’ve a flat in France that’s all yours. Really, if you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.
Of course we’ll get to see each other again: I refuse to accept a world where we don’t. Besides, when I want something I’m not the type to just give up on it. I hope I’m not just flattering myself to think that you still want me too. Although if you do end up getting swept off your feet by some handsome foreigner, at least do me the courtesy of a warning letter, so I know precisely who has eclipsed me in your affections, and can curb my impulse to challenge them to a duel to satisfy my own sorrow.
yours always,
Henry
P.S. This doesn’t change anything, but I hope it’ll make you laugh to know that I’m pursuing a lawsuit against the Daily Prophet for defamation, so they have to deal with me in court now which should be thoroughly entertaining. Watch the international papers- I’m generally beloved all over, so my fall from grace and subsequent bitchfit about it will surely be entertaining.
P.P.S. I was joking about the duel. Mostly. My desire for your happiness far outweighs any potential wrath or jealousy. Frankly it’s a level of selflessness I didn’t know I possessed before I met you. Look at that- two dates in and you’re already making me a better person.
Dirk, out of all people, should never have to think that he’d need to ask Alaric to stay, never think he needed to say please for it, and Alaric bit down on the inside of his cheek as he reached out to brush his fingers through Dirk’s hair.
He loved him. He loved him, and yet he couldn’t keep him.
When would the engagement be announced? Alaric wasn’t entirely sure, but he knew it would be soon and once it hit the papers, he was going to lose Dirk and likely forever, all because once again Alaric had allowed his own desires to be overruled by the designs of his parents. He’d done things before to displease them, of course, like moving to muggle London and getting work as an herbologist instead of fancier, but none of that seemed to compare to their fury when they found out he wasn’t merely cavorting with a muggleborn, but dating one, loving one.
It had all been fun and games, foolish hormones, until they realize how serious Alaric was in his affections, when they figured out that their pureblood son wasn’t thinking of their family name and heirs, but forevers and happy endings. It was unacceptable, it was intolerable.
Merlin, just looking at Dirk was going to kill him.
“Of course,” He said eventually, words quiet and slipping through the still night as Alaric slipped back into the bed, the sheets already feeling cold and unwelcoming despite the short time he’d been parted from them. “You don’t even need to ask.”
And soon enough it wouldn’t matter if Dirk asked or pleaded or demanded because it was done. By this time next month (or maybe even next week), he’d be engaged to Gisela Rosier, holding her hand and not so much as even looking in Dirk’s direction because if he did that, the heartbreak might just kill him. He’d never be able to explain it to Dirk, either, how could Alaric ever tell someone he claimed to love that he hadn’t managed to fight against his family for them?
No, it would be better for Dirk to think he was just an asshole that broke up with him for someone of better pedigree than to think Alaric gave up simply because his parents pushed, that he wasn’t worth fighting for just because someone protested the idea of them being together. He couldn’t do that to Dirk and it really didn’t matter how much it hurt Alaric because he deserved it for giving up in the first place. All that mattered was what made it easiest for Dirk to let go, he needed to know Dirk could heal and move on and be happy.
It was the least he could do for Dirk. Really, the absolute least.
Dirk deserved someone better, after all, not someone that would crumble.
“Believe me,” Alaric whispered in the dark, breathing in steadily and counting as he exhaled, focusing on the dip in the bed from having Dirk so close. “There’s nowhere else I want to be besides right here.”
