I've thought about creating this blog for a while now bc I feel like a lot of people could be in the same boat that I am but maybe I'm too afraid to come to the conclusion that I'm losing it a tiny bit. Learning how to live in your early twenties is challenging on a regular basis. Not that its hard to live but it's hard to grasp what or where you're supposed to be rn. I struggle w it daily, I have days when I feel soooo negative but I also have days when I realize how much life I have to live and how maybe I can start changing my life around now. Bc it is how it works right?... But an overwhelming amount of thoughts rush to my head as to why it is such a big task to complete/perform in a way that is exemplary. I feel incomplete yet satisfied. WHERE DO U GO FROM HERE???? what does one do? I've tried the whole clean girl aesthetic and the whole eating books things bc I do love both but I'm not complete. I'm not whole yet. Going back to school might help me soon but I don't see that being the answer more of a booster for my career. A career I'm not sure I'm good in any way. I mean I am, my boss says it, and everyone around me says the same thing but I don't FEEL it yk? & I say that w anger bc how am I still not enough? & the whole bf & friends thing, let's not even get into it bc HOW?? I struggle to have both bc I don't even know who I fully am yet, I wanna be the best I can be in every aspect of my life but even when I am doing the most I don't feel like it's sufficient. I'm not doing my best and I know that but how do I get out of it? In my head im very self aware but do I act on it? negative. Weird gal, i know. anyways, I always said I'd write a blog so here I am but even though im not providing any answers to these questions I hope someone sees it and says 'hey that sounds just like me' bc I need to feel less alone in this. It is a 1st world problem I'm very aware but who knows, maybe somebody will read this n help me out.