#disordertag

[goasthed]

I have agoraphobia and whenever my friend takes me outside (which is uuuusually the only way I can get outside) I feel like an excitable dog 

sniffing and jumping and barking and everything is very very new and exciting and terrifying and great and I am awestruck and horrified at the same time

[goasthed]

[goasthed]

*skips back in the thing I was watching to catch a part I wasn’t paying attention to*

*doesn’t pay attention to it again*

*this happens 15 times per part I don’t pay attention to*

*there are at least 3 or 4 parts like this per 30-minute show*

[goasthed]

needing to always be doing multiple things at once/things to be moving really fast and also sometimes being hypomanic really clashes with my executive dysfunction and fatigue, like

imagine me vibrating in my office chair and the office chair sort of drilling itself through the first floor and then into the floorboards of the floor below and finally the ground itself

kinda feels like that. kinda feels like I’m minecraft guy and I’m diggin directly down without even moving and hoping I won’t hit lava

[goasthed]

the angel/demon pictures I make are influenced by my experiences with psychosis 

[goasthed]

In Which Goast Bites The Bullet And Recognizes And Accepts Their Psychosis, And Calls It Such

[goasthed]

lotta things I didn’t realize about myself! are comin to me!

[goasthed]

kinda feels like I can’t connect to reality any more, like I’m having to be in a constant state of Dial-Up Tone to be able to function 

it wouldn’t be so bad, but

it’s kinda lonely out here in this amorphous fuckin...zorb-like pocket of consciousness 

kinda like the feeling you get when you lose your lipstick in the bottom of a bag and you KNOW you didn’t take it out