seen from Mexico
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A Double Edged Sword
Started: May 27th
Last Update: June 20th
Total Works: 9/Complete
Chapter 1: I'd Rather Be Invisible
Chapter 2: Like a fart in a dust storm
Chapter 3: Like A Hand Sandwich
Chapter 4: Darkness Falls Early
Chapter 5: What? Do You Want a Cookie?
Chapter 6: A Heavy Metal Hug
Chapter 7: The Trip to Naboo NSFW
Chapter 8: Back in the Saddle
Chapter 9: The Rules of Engagement
perennialdoll247
I'm loving where this is going! Yay for a slow burning, tender story. Love it!
A Double Edged Sword
Chapter One: I'd Rather Be Invisible
Din is asked to transport someone who has some unusual abilities. Astral Travel, Distance Viewing, Slow Burn.
This is my first offering and I am such a noob I'm not sure what the protocols are. This is a slow burn and I want to thank dev1lm4n for encouraging me.
Word count: 3k
You had only been there 16 months. You’ve done your best to steer clear of the more populated areas. Outside of going in for supplies occasionally, you didn’t engage in conversations with people. You did the best you could to go un-noticed. When you arrived you specifically asked Magistrate Karga if there was a place you could settle where you could be mostly isolated. He has known people from all over the galaxy and didn’t find that request such an odd one.
At first it was pretty peaceful but the longer you were there and the townspeople grew increasingly curious….. you felt it all closing in on you again. Worse yet the Magistrate was fielding all kinds of requests from his people to ask you to find somewhere else to live. You could feel the tension rising and you knew you needed to find a place you could truly be alone.
Karga had approached Mando with the issue he was having and asked if he would be willing to relocate you. Mando had an encyclopedic knowledge of planets in the Outer Rim and Karga really didn’t want to drop you in the desert somewhere. He really was a decent guy. Plus with Mando being a man of few words who kept to himself he figured who better to transport an Empath.
“Yeah I saw this coming a parsec away” you grumbled as Karga and Mando approached your little cottage. To their surprise you were already packed. The Magistrate was trying to stutter step some kind apology, but was relieved that he didn’t have to do any convincing. You dropped your head and look up at him through your lashes and said “You didn’t think I could feel this?”, and added “Look, It’s not your fault.”
You grabbed your heaviest bag and shoved it in the Mandalorians’ arms like he was a pack animal saying “Well you’re the strong silent type.”, “Make yourself useful.” You started up the path towards town seeing no reason to prolong the inevitable. Mando cocked his head to the side looked over at Karga and gave him an exasperated sigh. The Magistrate raised his eyebrows, shrugged his shoulders and remarked “Well Mando, she’s not wrong.”
Being abrasive was one of your more endearing defense mechanisms. You had gained quite a bit of ground on you way out of there when Mando and the Magistrate started after you. Mando says to Karga under his breath “What have you gotten me into?”.
“I heard that” you shout from a good distance up the path. Although “Heard That” wasn’t exactly accurate. It’s more like it’s in your head like you can feel it as the thought is being formulated.
You didn’t mean to be so pissy but this was probably the 10th place you had been urged to vacate in the last few years. It was gettin’ old.
You get to the Razor Crest and stand at its side waiting for The Madalorian to lower the ramp. He is momentarily surprised by the fact that you knew just where you were going until he recalled his conversation with Karga about how people had become uneasy around you because as he put it “She just knows things.” You board the Razor Crest and Mando stows your bags in the cargo hold and tells you “You’re gonna have to find a spot for yourself back here.” And turns to leave you to it. You holler up at him as he climbs the ladder to the cockpit. “I could sleep between two boulders if I have enough room to lie down.” “Good” is his curt response.
Frankly you could hardly wait to be off world and out of reach of those thousands of minds that invaded yours. You chuckled to yourself thinking how easy it would be with only one stoic Man of steel around. You wagged your head back and forth as you thought it and realized you were being a bitch again. “Hell I’m even sarcastic to myself.” You quip. “What?” you hear booming from the cockpit. “Nothing.” You counter. “Just talking to myself.”, and then THOUGHT to yourself “It’s the only way I can get intelligent conversation around here” Then you heard it. A chuckle. A chuckle from the Tin Man.
But did he hear you?. “Did I say that ….out loud?” You ask yourself. You couldn’t even be sure. It didn’t really matter. It was your way to isolate yourself so talking to yourself was pretty common. All you knew was that if he HEARD you then you would have to be more careful.
You got your sleeping area arranged and you decided that it was time to confer with your pilot about your destination. You climbed the ladder to find a spot to the right and slightly behind the Mandalorian. You offer a weak apology for being such a smart ass but then you reason “It’s better than being a dumb ass any day” You get a nod of agreement but you feel a slight grin. Your pilot asks where you want to go and is surprised to discover that you have no idea. Clearly he wants an explanation and you start by asking him how wants you to address him. “Mando is fine,” he says and you answer “If that’s what you prefer.”, It is”. He is indeed a man of few words.
“Ok” you start. “Our Lovely Magistrate seems to think that if anyone knows what can be found in the Outer Rim planets it’s you.” He simply nods. You continue “So what I need to find is a place where I can pull up a chunk of dirt to plant a garden and a couple of boulders I can lie down between.” Oh Boy, right back into smart ass mode. “Sorry” you whisper. “No need to apologize” Mando says. Damn he heard me again. “But most importantly,” you add “No people”. Your words just hang in the air.
You hear Mando mulling it over “Is that safe” he says but thinks to himself, Does she really want to be alone? “It’s just easier.” You explain as you let out a long sigh. “That sounds like defeat” comes from the Mandalorian. “Well I guess I’ve just had enough”. You realize that you just responded to a thought. An unspoken comment. It finally occurs to you that almost half of what passed between you was unspoken. You decide it’s time to shut up and hope you get away with that little slip. Apparently you didn’t.
“Please Explain” Mando prods. “What?”, “Why I feel the need to isolate myself or why I’m answering questions you haven’t asked yet?” You get another monosyllabic response “Both.” You take in enough air to tell the tiresome story you hate telling. “It’s a long story, Let me sum up. My Father was Hiraeth, 100% Empath. My Mother was Human, 0% Empath.”, “ After 3 years with a man who knew every thought that popped into her head she couldn’t take it anymore.” “She left, taking me with her.”. “So when my abilities started to become apparent she had me doing little tasks like finding people that were lost and healing people that were sick.”, “The problem was having had so little exposure to my Fathers race I had no training.” I have little or no control over it, I don’t know how to shut it off and I feel the pain of people that I heal and the anguish of people that I cared about or even anyone who just stood too close to me."
"I always ended up hurt or sick myself.”, "and any person within my range that had a nasty thought about me, hit me right between the eyes, ‘maybe she’s a witch’, ‘Maybe she’s a ghost.’ Even ‘Maybe she’s a Jedi” Their thoughts were sharp and painful. "I was just a kid and I didn’t understand.", " In my teens I discovered that it was a huge disadvantage with the opposite sex.", " There was this whole ‘get out of my head’ argument that I couldn’t control one way or the other. I finally said “Enough already.” By the end of your life story you had sunk down in your chair feeling awash in the darkness that always accompanied those memories.
The silence is only broken when Mando responds “Shit” slow and drawn out. Yes you actually heard that one. “Yeah, Shit is right”. You go quiet again trying to swallow the pain you feel. In an effort to squelch that line of conversation. Mando, ever the voice of reason says “Well”, “I’ll let you focus on where you want to be and then you describe it to me.” It strikes you that this is uncharacteristic behavior. This is a thoughtful and well considered idea. The only Mandalorians you had ever known in your life were warlike, reactionary and cold. This one seems…kinda warm and he actually has a brain in that bucket. Another chuckle from the Mandolorian. You snap your confused gaze in his direction “Thank You” he says. “What?” You ask, louder than you expected. He turned his chair to face you and with a nod of his helmet repeated “Thank You”.
“What the hell is going on.” You are unaccustomed to having people read YOU. “I can see I need to explain” He began. “My adopted kid has powers.”, “ He doesn’t really speak but makes himself understood.”, “ He has healing powers and he can levitate things.” “The time I spent with him has changed me.” I discovered that if I reached out with my mind to him, I could understand him better.”, I didn’t even realize it was happening but I found for the first time in my life rather than my only instinct being to hunt and kill it was being combined with a drive to protect.”
He went quiet for a minute but then told you that he had noticed this happening little by little but when you came onboard, he was picking up some of your thoughts. You had to admit to yourself that was a little unsettling. “Don’t worry,”, He said “I won’t abuse my powers” in an exaggerated fashion putting his hands up and wiggling his fingers around like a porg. “Ooh very scary” You tell him. He threw his head back and laughed. You could feel the Childs influence on him. This was NOT the run of the mill Mandalorian.
He stifled his jovial attitude as his memories turned a little melancholy. He told you that the kid was with the Jedi in training right now and he hoped to see him again soon. He wasn’t sure that the Jedi had the right idea when it comes to attachments. He is convinced that most of the kids powers are born out of love.
You shake your head taking all this in. This guy is deep. “Shit” you say to yourself and once again he surprises you. “Shit is right” he says with a nod. You decide it’s best not to question all of these occurrences.
You could feel the mood lifting the further you got from Navarro. You get the impression that Mando is also experiencing the relief that you are starting to feel. You wonder to yourself if this would somehow compromise him or distract him from the task at hand. Your worries were unfounded as you find his focus is snapped back into stoic Mando mode. When it comes to what needs to be done, he doesn’t play.
He prompts you by asking how you would search your mind for this place you need to be. You explain your process and how you need to close your eyes, breathe deep and just SEE. “I just need to focus on the environment I need to survive.” “Well, Go ahead.” Mando says “That chair reclines and there’s a headrest”. You hesitate but he adds “The sooner you do this the sooner we’ll have a heading.”
You lean back and start taking deep breaths. There is so much less psychic noise in the atmosphere being here on the Crest rather than in a populated place. You find you can easily focus. You begin to see green and you feel as if you’re flying over a valley. As Images start flowing in. Mando asks you to describe what you see.
He notices your responses are stilted as if you’re not all there. You tell him about the valley and how there are some trees and some grasslands. Your speech is slow and deliberate. You are doing your best to block out any distractions, as you are getting occasional flashes. You shake them away and re-focus. Mando helps by asking specific questions. “What do the trees look like?” and as fly by you see that they are fluffy looking. “More like deciduous trees rather than evergreens”. “What else do you see?” He asks. You see some rock formations and areas where water flows from springs through the valley making ponds.
He inputs all the information you’ve given him and searches an outer rim parsec. He narrows it down to three planets that are the closest to your current location. One is too heavily populated to be a peaceful place for you, one has an atmosphere unfriendly to oxygen breathing beings. Leaving only one in this parsec to check out.
Mando calls you over to see if it resonates with you and notices you’re a little unsteady on you feet. “Are you alright?” Mando asks. “Oh that’s just another benefit of no practical training”, “it takes a lot out of me.” Mando offers you an arm to steady yourself and you feel a sense of relief. He shows you what his scans have come up with and repeats the name of the small planet. “Farweh”
It tickles you that when he says it, it’s almost as if he’s saying “far away”. “Sounds perfect." you say but Mando asserts “We’ll have to make sure it feels right….The gravity is a little different.”. Different Bad?” You ask. “No”, he assures you. You’ll just feel lighter.”. Maybe that explains the ease that you felt flying there. “Well” you assure him “It sounds like it’s worth looking at.
You realize that you are lingering too long. Hanging onto his arm you notice that he is….warm. It’s almost intoxicating. It’s comfortable. Right up until he turns his head to face you and you can feel his gaze. “Sorry” you tell him. “I’m still a little wobbly.” You decide you’d better settle back in the reclining chair as you are still in this half floaty state from your little trip. You chalk up the effect you felt standing too close to him as ‘Distance viewing hangover.’ Yeah, That’s it.
You feel the need to lean back for a few to regain your equilibrium. All too soon the same pull that drew you in before is back but at a more calm pace. You try to snap yourself out of it but you are being pulled in again. The flashes you were getting before are back but are more persistent now. You have no choice but to allow them in. There must be something you need to know. You keep seeing a face. It’s not scary, it’s a kind face. It’s a beautiful man with eyes you could drown in. You can feel that he is somehow vulnerable and there is a touch of sadness in the depth of his eyes.
You are drawn to him. He seems to be taking you into a deeper state. Your breathing is deep and regular and you feel….receptive. Something in your heart wants to reach out and wrap your arms around this vision but that’s not possible in the astral plane. It’s not unpleasant so you allow yourself to drift.
You become aware that questions are being asked of you “Why do you hide?”, “Why cover yourself in these shrouds?” all of this communication is happening in your head , You don’t speak the words you just think them. “They help me…blend in.” .….“ It gives me a barrier.”….. “It makes me feel…protected.”, ”It shields me.” This presence that has joined you here has heard what you are asserting about your shroud but is still waiting for the real reason. “I’d rather be invisible.”
This response seems to disappointing to the man who inserted himself in your consciousness and he slowly fades away. With your vision receding now you find it much easier shake yourself back to a more aware and present state. As you ‘come back’, you become aware that Mando has been waiting for you to come around. He has turned his chair to face you manspreading in his seat, arms crossing his chest.
The mood is almost somber. His gaze is trained on you and turn to meet it. “Can you explain that to me?” He questions. “What” You weren’t sure exactly what he meant. “You were….gone.”, ‘ “For all intents and purposes.”, “ Do you actually GO somewhere?”. “Well, n-not all of me.” You do your best to explain. "With astral travel you have to SEE rather than open your eyes.”, “ You have to feel rather than touch.”, “A physical action can pull you immediately back to your body.” He seems like he’s pissed off about something. He huffs and swings back around to face the front of the cockpit. When his focus is off of you, you are relieved. You’re drained from your activity. You can’t really make sense of his level of annoyance. You draw your shroud around you like a cocoon as you wonder what you did to piss him off. There’s no point in trying to make sense of this now. You are too drained. Seeing you wrap yourself up, Mando huffs “What is that thing a blanket too?” You tuck you toes under the hem of your shroud and it renders you…..comfy. “Mm Hmm” is your last conscious utterance. You welcome the oblivion of sleep.
Like A Hand Sandwich
Din learns the benefits of astral travel and trains to become proficient at it finding a like minded soul in the process
Word Count: 3,000
Mando enveloped you in an intensity that swirled through your body. His cheek brushed against yours as he again pulled back just enough to look in to your eyes. He saw a flash of fear behind your eyes. His face was suddenly awash with concern. He began to feel your sense of helplessness. When you closed your eyes and turned your face away from his, you feel him loosening his grip, softening his hold. Allowing you to recede from him.
When your consciousness returns to you body it does so with a thump. It’s as if you have just fallen back into your body. You try to catch your breath and you are gulping for air. You discover that your hands are cramped from digging your fingers into the arms or the chair. You clench your eyes and shake your head. “Damn” you exclaim. “How the hell did you do that?” “What” he he doesn’t quite understand. You look over toward Mando and he is leaning forward with his head in his hands. “Are you sure you never did this before?” You ask.
He is wrestling with all the things he felt. He just went full steam ahead with little regard for anything else. He was clearly unaware that he was doing things that most experienced ‘travelers’ are unable to do. “You are somehow able to make me feel your presence in an almost physical way.”, “I could swear I felt your breath on my neck.”, “That shouldn’t be possible.”
You both remained quiet for a while, unsure of exactly what just happened. You both needed time to process it.
It was Mandos’ voice that first pierced the silence. “I don’t know why it happened…like that.”, “I didn’t feel like I had any control over it.”, “There’s only one thing I know of that would explain it.” but he keeps that to himself for the moment. You are still reclined and are taking calming breaths. In through the nose, out through the mouth. As you bring the chair back to upright you look over at him. He sees that same fear flash in your eyes. It was only for a moment but he saw it. That’s why he released his hold on you. That look brought him back.
“That’s what I saw that made me realize, it was as if you didn’t have a choice and I scared you.”, “Did I…Are you Ok?”. You heave a big sigh and try to explain. “You have an overwhelming force of will.”, “An intense focus and drive.”, “Of all the people I have known that have this ability, none are as present there, on the astral plane as you are.”, “I guess I found that a little intimidating.”
“The way you wrapped yourself around me.”, “ It just brought back pain from my past.” , “You know Greef chose you to transport me because you are a quiet man, a man of few words.”, “Almost literally a man behind a wall.” “I never expected that a trip with you would bring stuff out that I have kept buried for more than a decade.”, “A part of my life I thought was long dead.” You huff.
“From the time I hit puberty, it has happened with every young man I ever got comfortable around”, “the closer they got to me the more they felt that…weirdness starting to happen.”, “As soon as I began to trust that they were going to be in my life…every one of them,... not just most of them,...or even the vast majority of them.’, “NO.”, “Every single one, freaked out and ran.”
“So this is something that I avoided.", "I have long since decided was not meant for me.”, “No fairytale.”, “No happy ending.”, “No knight in shining Armor” You let those words slip out without considering the irony in them.
“Look.”, “I always found that an unpleasant, smart ass, attitude kept most people away.” “The rest of the time I would just keep my head down and blend into the background.”, “I would just disappear.”, “Now, with you...
I CAN’T HIDE.”
Mando considers all you have told him. Minutes pass before he responds “So you have abandoned the idea of ever connecting with anyone because all it ever did was cause you pain?”, “You wear the shroud to shield yourself from...everything.” You nod thinking ‘He really does get it.’ “Yes” you tell him “but in the astral plane with you I have no shroud.” He counters with “By the same token I have no armor.”, “The difference is…it makes you feel vulnerable but it makes me feel free.”, You tell him “That’s probably why you ran with it.”, “you ran wild.”, “We can’t assume that it means anything. You add clinically ”It was the novel situation that had that effect on you.”
Mando isn’t so sure he agrees with your assessment and feels it requires further investigation. Maybe even experimentation. With that you wave a hand at him and say “Yeah, Well let me know how that works out for ya.”. You hop out of the chair with the intention of heading down to the cargo bay. “ Stop”, Mando demands.
“Just a minute.” He is heads over in you direction.
He removes his gloves as he approaches you. His gaze never varying from your eyes. You can feel it. He takes your hand and pulls it toward him. He brings your hand to rest on his waist as he brushes along the length of your forearm to curl his fingers around your elbow to keep your arm in place. His skin is warm and feels almost electric. His eyes trail down for a moment as he brushes his other hand softly along the delicate skin of your inner arm. It sends a chill up your spine and causes you draw a quick breath. You start to feel overwhelmed and you turn away hoping to break this spell.
“Don’t look away from me.” He says in a voice that is smooth and warm. You attempt to slow your breathing as much as you can hoping to mask the effect he is having on you. But he catches it.
“Oh”, “Increased respirations, increased heart rate.”, “and a small rise in your body temperature .” He’s getting all of these readouts from his helmet. “This is not at all fair.” you say to him. He rebuffs with “Oh you don’t like it when the tables are turned.” You have a full on pout going at this point. He’s still hanging onto your arm and you are desperately trying to mitigate what is happening inside you.
You attempt to guilt him into relenting. “I never did it on purpose.”, “I never tried to read you.” He’s not going to let you off That easy. “No, You’ve given up.”, “You deny a part of yourself that is screaming to get out.”, “You have a raging torrent going on inside you.”, “and you’re trying to ignore it.” He pulls you closer, pressing you against him. You inhale sharply and your heart is now pounding. His proximity fills all your senses. You find your mouth has gone dry. He brings a hand to your face and cradles your cheek as you can feel his eyes boring into you and says. “Oh Yeah, it’s clear, you don’t want nothin’ to do with me.”
You regain your composure enough to say “Your sarcasm is showing.” You become aware that he is being affected almost as much as you are. “I may be behind a wall, as you say but I don’t try to deny my beating heart.” You can feel his breaths has become deep and there is an undeniable feeling that he is actively reaching out in spirit.
You felt it before wherever he was touching you but now he is extending beyond his own boarders. He allows his hand to slip from your face.
Part of you feels that you are being toyed with, as a cat might play with it’s prey. But Mando has a much more serious agenda. He takes a single step away from you and starts relating something to you that he wants to be sure you understand.…clearly.
“On Mandalore, if you find someone you fit with, you don’t discard them.” And further explains “There is a traditional type of kiss among Mandalorians where we touch our foreheads together. It’s symbolic of knowing that person well enough to feel what they feel, share the same space, finish each other sentences.” You ask for clarification. “When you say occupy the same space, you don’t just mean live in the same house do you?”
“No” he tells you.” “I’m talking about two souls co-mingling.”, “Being in each others heads.”. “There is no greater connection.” It’s highly valued in our culture.”, “Normally it takes two people years to develop this shared conciseness.”, “You step onto my ship and within hours you’re in my head and I’m in yours. I know that you can’t accept this right now but I won’t allow you to run from it.”
He continues “You said that your experience has been that men ran from you. But in truth, these were not men”, he says with disgust. “If they ran from you they were boys, and not very smart ones at that.”, “You may never have come to know a Mandalorian well enough to understand. Mandalorians are strong, loyal and they stand their ground. They look for a mate who can meet them in a way that is more than just skin deep. They are not the running kind.” He says it like it’s just a matter of fact. “Besides you could no more hide from me that I could hide from you.”
“I will persist.” He says as he drops his chin down in a single nod. This gesture is authority. This man means what he is saying. “This feels like a formal declaration.” You point out. “Yes, it is”, “I will show you that your fear is unfounded and no longer serves a purpose.”
You stand there dumbfounded. What are you supposed to say to that? You stand there with your hands out to either side with your palms up, shaking your head and trying to form words. All that comes out is a strange collection of sounds from a dozen thoughts that never became cohesive. “You don’t have to say anything” He assures you as he reaches over for one of your hands and places his palm over yours. His other Hand reaching under that hand completely encapsulating it. Like a hand sandwich.
Your small hand literally disappears between his. He leans in closer and tells you quietly “Just stop trying to keep me out”, “You know it won’t work.”
“We are in a different phase now. I understand why our encounter felt the way it did and why I was drawn to you as I was.”, “ So I must inform you that you are officially being courted, or pursued if you prefer.” While he cradled your hand in his he bowed low before you and raised just the bottom edge of his helmet to kiss the back of your hand. He then turned your hand over to kiss your palm. Then he closed your fingers over your palm in a Mandalorian gesture asking you to keep the kiss.
For a warrior people they seem almost romantic. Ok they seem downright romantic. As he straightened his back he lowered his helmet. With this action as he gave you his name. It’s not something the shares with many people but here he was telling you “Din.”, “My name is Din Djarin.” It all seemed very formal.
There were just a few things he wanted to make very clear. “I will persist” he repeated his declaration from a few minutes ago but added. “I will come to you in astral form.” “I know that I can make my intentions understood by you, and I will know whether or not you accept me.”, “I know you have defenses in place that I must overcome, but know this,”, “I have already felt your heart and in case I wasn’t clear, I will persist.”
You find that you are completely lacking any verbal response. No quick comeback occurs to you in this moment. You almost feel numb.
You know you can’t make any excuse that he won’t see right through. None of your defense mechanisms will work. You are aware that there is some logic to what he is telling you. Are you actually considering this? You have to admit to yourself that he intrigues you. He definitely effects you. When his hands brushed your skin it made your head spin. When he kissed the back of your hand and it was sweet but when he kissed your palm it was sexy. It was so much more intimate, and the closing of the hand detail felt immediately like it meant something special. It signified that it was just between you two. You understood it. The symbolism made sense to you.
He could see that you needed some time to think so he had you come down to the cargo bay. He opened what looked like a large cupboard that was actually a small space just big enough to house his bunk. He gestured toward it and told you “I am now responsible for your comfort as well.”, “As a passenger my only obligation was to keep you safe.”, “Now as my intended I am offering you the most comfortable place to sleep.”, “I will stay in the cockpit.”, “I can sleep reclined in my chair.”
Again he gestured toward the bunk and said “Feel free to make it your own.” He gave a nod of his head and headed back up to the cockpit.
You sat down dazed on the bunk just staring for a few minutes absolutely mute. His ‘Intended’? Did he call me his ‘Intended?” How did this happen? I feel like I just got here. ‘Didn’t I?’ Oh Smeg, you’re talking to yourself again. You realize that the only way to navigate through this flood of thoughts and emotions is to STOP being overwhelmed. “Compose yourself and just breathe.”
Why is it so hard to accept when you know…there is a simple logic that can be applied here. It’s a euphemism but it rings true. So you remind yourself over and over.
If you are shooting the rapids being pulled downstream you must NOT thrash about and fight the current. If you watch the water you will see, the water goes around the rocks. If you thrash about and fight the current you will be bashed against the rocks. If you relax and let the current take you, you too will go around the rocks.
For the next few evenings you found the sessions to ‘Train’ Din went surprisingly well. The goal after all was to make sure he understood all the things that needed to know to navigate the astral plane so that he may travel freely to see Grogu. He was picking it up almost effortlessly. He was very disciplined despite his desire to pursue you. He took these sessions very seriously. What you find is that it is almost his lack of pursuit that actually makes you wish he was advancing on you a little more than he did. Probably all part of his plan.
Din doesn’t make you feel pushed. He doesn’t force himself on you at all but by the same token he doesn’t jump out of your way either Even in the close quarters of the Crest. In fact he seems to have developed an uncanny ability to place himself right in your path then he acts oblivious to the fact that you are trying to get around him.
Each time he stood looking down at you. Cocking his head to the side he observes your reactions to his presence. Your breathing and your heart rate. You can sense how satisfied he feels that he excites you. Even through his helmet his grin is evident to you. He delights in the fact that every time he places himself in your path you are less in a hurry to get around him. He makes a point to lift your face towards his so that he could look into your eyes. Your fear of trusting again is becoming smaller and smaller.
Once Din saw your eyes soften at his interference of you he reached down and picked up your hand and placed it above his chest plate to a spot that was more exposed, less armored. He placed his gloved hand over yours and stilled for a moment soaking it in. “May I ask” you say quietly. “Why your approach has been so…hands off?”
He knew from your question alone that you were ready for that to change, and he answers. “I don’t just want the part of you that walks around, I want the part of you that lives inside.” He leans forward and touches his forehead to yours. His meaning is clear.
For that evenings Astral training Din slides into the astral form like he had been doing it his whole life. With a few deep breaths he escaped the bonds of his physical form.
This evening he was no longer holding back.
He comes to you and floats over you. He leans in closer and presses his forehead to yours. He is allowing you in. He’s sharing his whole life with you. The pictures flash through important events and small details. You see his childhood when he lost his parents and was taken in as a foundling by the Mandalorians. Your once strict resolve never to allow anyone close to you is abandoned and you allow him unfettered access to all of your thoughts, all of your life, your childhood, your awkwardness when your abilities started alienating the people around you.
You finally let him in. You fill each others senses. You float together with no boundary between you. This is what he meant when he talked about occupying the same space. Melding together.
You are no longer separate beings. You are flowing freely together in the same current and you are NOT being bashed against the rocks.
A Double Edged Sword
Angst, Betrayal, Mild Violence (he only shoots one guy)
Chapter 4: Darkness Falls Early
Word Count: 3,200
You spend an unmeasured amount of time floating as one and clinging closely to each other. You still have independent thoughts but in the astral plane many those those thoughts are shared. You are experiencing more closeness to Din than you have ever felt before.
When you come down from this experience. You are at a loss for words. Normally you would be spewing a patter of comments just abrasive enough to back anyone off who got too close. Your normal goal was in fact to keep them at a distance from you.
But once again, in this mans presence, you are dumbstruck. You just have no desire to back him away. You feel no need to fill every silence. All you know is that this man feels like home. It feels like you belong in his arms.
It didn’t escape your notice that the trip to the outer rim had stretched for many days beyond what was necessary. Din seemed to have taken the scenic route. However in light of what passed between you, it was an acceptable delay. Besides he was still learning to “visit” Grogu.
When you did arrive at Farweh it struck you as odd the first time the ramp of the Crest was lowered onto a grassy field. By your reckoning it was merely afternoon but Darkness falls early in this place.
Din wasn’t sure he liked this idea of you staying here alone but by the same token didn’t feel it was his place to tell you not to. The trip was actually a short one in hyper drive and you assured him that you were more that prepared. Within seven days a spoonful of seeds would provide you with a harvest that would be 40 times more nutritious than plants they came from when allowed to grow to maturity. You start setting up seed trays to give you a succession of sprouts to harvest while allowing others to grow to produce more seed.
This was a new beginning, this new place may have brought your life back to square one in the best of ways. No need to shield yourself from interfering minds with negative emotions. With Din as an ally your mind felt unencumbered by the weight of critical thoughts.
Still your mind wanders all the way back to that time your troubles first began. Even though Din had slowly whittled away at your resistance of him, still you wondered how he would be different.
How is it possible that this relationship won’t follow the same path that every other in your history had. So far your track record of relationships that crash an burn is 100%. You shuck off those thoughts and try to see the world through new eyes.
Yet there’s something nibbling at your subconscious. Something that is not entirely clear to you. In an attempt to nail down this murky memory you focus back to that time. You find a specific period to be almost vaporous. Every time you reach for it, it recedes into some dark corner of your mind. You think it’s just doubts trying to resurface so you put it to the side.
You set up an astral trip to allow Din to “Travel” to check on Grogu. You connect with Din on the astral plane to guide him through the process. You have him focus his mind on seeing Grogu standing right in front of him. At first Din gets a series of memories of time he spent with Grogu. Then suddenly it’s as if he’s seeing through Grogus eyes. Grogu becoming aware that Din is reaching out, replays a scene for him. It was in town on a day when he saw you, the lady in the shroud. Grogu felt your mind that day. Din sees how Grogu had reached out for you with his mind and he sees you just stopped and avoided the contact. He finds it curious that you never mentioned it.
Any memories that Grogu had of you were being relayed to Din.
Grogu was connected to Din and you psychically at the same Time. All Grogu want to do is show Din something. He sees a dark corner in your mind and Grogu seems intent on bringing him closer to observe that elusive part of you that had been closed off.
With some persistence he was able to pierce the barrier that kept him from seeing this memory before. He sees someone with abilities like yours visit your little cottage. He sees a subsequent astral trip to pinpoint Grogus location. There is nothing here to indicate to him that your participation wasn’t voluntary. The time line seems a little jumbled but all he can see is the end result. That through distance viewing you gave information leading Moff Gideon right to the his kid. His foundling son.
Din stiffens with resentment as soon as the vision is shown to him.
Din had made it clear to you that Mandalorians had a set of criteria for finding a mate that differed from almost every other culture but for one glaring exception. Betrayal was absolutely unacceptable and would not be tolerated. As far as Din could see this was the ultimate betrayal.
In that instant your connection with him narrows to a pinpoint and is lost. Din is immediately pulled back into his body. You are confused as to what just happened. You open your eyes and are transported instantly back into you body. Without knowledge of the still elusive memory. Din thinks you deliberately hid from him. That you had somehow built a wall around the event to make it inaccessible. Din quickly backs away from you and all you can sense is that something horrible has happened. All you sense from him is rage.
With no explanation Din dumps everything of yours that remained on the Crest off the end of the ramp. Every movement was abrupt. For a moment you thought about asking him what was wrong but you felt his mind was already closed to you and you were not one to grovel. So rather than look for an answer you squint your eyes as you close off your connection with him.
“Why am I not surprised?”, “You had convinced me you were different.”, “What an fool I was to have believed it.”
Din offers no response.
With that, he unceremoniously took off. So here you are completely unaware of what just happened yet,…not surprised. Your track record remains 100% intact. Another crash and burn.
You begin to berate yourself for ever trying again. How could I have been so stupid. How could I have allowed myself to believe that I was destined for anything other than total isolation.
Putting this behind you was not going to be easy. You were all in. Now however you did the best you could to allow your anger override everything else. Choosing mad over sad was always preferable.
You were determined not to cry but your own breath defies you.
Every time you take a deep breath your respiration involuntarily hitches in your lungs. Like that weird stuttering breath that occurs when you are trying to stop crying. But you weren’t crying. No way in hell were you going to allow a single drop to escape your eyes. You had work to do.
Din rushed back to Navarro to pick up a job to distract him from the circumstance of your betrayal. Greef had come to regard Din as a friend and even through his helmet he could sense a deluge of foul emotions emanating from him.
Intent on understanding this testy attitude of Dins. He asked what was going on. Sensing it could only be his last trip. So he asked.
“What happened with your passenger?” Did you find a place for her?
Do you think she’ll be Ok?”
“What do you care?” Din spat back at him. His anger was unfocused but if it had anything to do with you. It pissed him off.
Greef was taken aback by this attitude. “What the hell happened?”
Din sat down and cocked his head slightly. “She was responsible for Moff Gideon Finding Grogu.”, “She used that thing she does where she can see for long distances and led him right to us.”
Greefs face was filled with regret. He started putting the pieces together from that time. Before Grogu had healed him.
It was a time when all that mattered to him was to curry favor with the powers that be. He didn’t care what was right, just what was profitable. He knows he was in large part responsible for this.
The Client who had originally contracted with him to obtain “the baby” had some unconventional methods to search for this asset. He brought in a Hiraeth to psychically search. He explained to Karga that he needed someone in the area that had a connection with the baby.
He knew that you had an experience with Grogu because you had specifically asked Greef about him. Even though you always entered town as if you were a part of the backdrop. You always wore your shroud and you made sure to blend in.
On one particular day you felt a consciousness reaching out to you. You saw a Mandalorian with the baby floating along behind him in a pram. The Madalorian was blissfully unaware of your presence but the baby was looking right at you. He raised a little three fingered hand towards you like he had sensed you and wanted to communicate. You just became still and waited for him to pass but you were curious about this being who had made himself known to you.
Greef didn’t know what the baby was, only saying that “His kind is very rare.” But he recalled this encounter when the Hiraeth asked him to arrange a meeting with someone who had a psychic connection to the baby. He provided the Hiraeth with all the details about you, your background, your abilities and where you could be found.
The Hiraeth only needed to probe your mind to follow your connection back to Grogu. You were an unwitting conduit. He took you on as astral trip to Grogu. Through you, he gathered enough information for Moff Gideon to Locate the little green prize.
Before allowing you to come back to a conscious state he placed a barrier in your mind that would prevent you from providing anyone else with this valuable information. He even wiped clean the any memory you had of Grogu. That moment of him reaching out to you was now hidden from you.
Din nearly lost his life that day. The day Moff came after Grogu.
Greef and Cara Dune only made it out by the thinest of margins.
Only now is Din aware of what led him there. Were it not for IG-11 sacrificing himself there would have been no escape.
This day had changed Greef Karga. He had Become a new man. The baby healed him and had effected him deeply. He could no longer ever put Grogu in danger. He became a protector now. Of Grogu, of Din and even of you.
Greef didn’t forget his misdeeds of the past. He knew he needed to be of help to you. He couldn’t just callously toss you out. Even as the demands of the townspeople mounted. He set you up with the best man for the job. Din Djarin. “The best in the Parsec” he would tout.
Greef didn’t know the details of what this Hiraeth had done to you.
He could tell that he had messed with your subconscious and erased some of your memories. He knew that you had forgotten all about your encounter with the precious little creature.
As bad as he feels he is not sure how to tell Din. Even though they have become friends, Greef considers the relationship somewhat tenuous, and a Mandalorian has a certain reputation. His fear is that Din would look at this thing he had set in motion much like the betrayal he is currently fuming about. He decides there’s no need to stoke the fire.
Rather than risk Dins reprisals now he decides to keep it under his hat until he can find a way to tell his intimidating friend. So instead of poking the bear Greef gives him a couple of bounties to collect while he considers how to break the news of his omission of the truth.
Din never felt as alone as he did right now. Not that he hadn’t lived the life of a solitary hunter before. Most of his adult life had been spent that way, but he was missing Grogu and without you in filling his senses the Crest feels empty.
He pushes the thoughts or you out of his mind asserting to himself that you don’t deserve a second thought. This doesn’t improve his mood any and a gloom hangs over him as he follows the tracking fob to the first bounty. A Smuggler.
The fob appears to be taking him to Ryloth. A planet near Tatooine. Din is grateful it isn’t Tatooine. Even though he has friends there he is in no mood to socialize.
Ryloth is the home planet to the Twi’leks. They can be on the wild side but it’s nothing Din can’t handle. In fact he’d been known to run with a few of them in his younger days. All of the ones he had associated with back then are either dead or in prison.
Din arrives on Ryloth early in the morning. Not even sunup yet. No smuggler would be keeping these hours. Din decided to best course of action was to rest for a few hours as he’s sure his quarry won’t be up and around for some time.
He drags his weary bones back to his bunk to flop down onto his mattress. A rush of air escaped the mattress as his weight pressed into it. He was suddenly surrounded by your scent. He slams his fist down at his side which just releases more of your scent to assault his senses. “Dank Ferrick”
He throws his head back determined to get some rest and after some aggressive thrashing he finds his way to a somewhat restful state. He finds that he can employ some of the techniques you taught him to calm his mind and it allows him to sleep.
It was a a fitful sleep. His mind was too active. His thoughts drifted back to Grogu. He began to feel a familiar pull carrying him away.
He has a dream where Grogu comes to him and is desperately trying to get him to understand something. But like Lassie trying to tell someone that Timmy had fallen down a well his efforts to get his idea across were unsuccessful.
Grogu came very close to din and stared him right in the eyes. The baby seemed enthralled by Dins face reaching up to touch it and cocking his head to the side and pointing. As far as Din could see he wasn’t pointing at anything. Soon the little guy looked disappointed, put his arms down and faded away.
When Din woke he thought it was odd that this odd little dream had stuck with him. Dreaming at all was uncommon for him but to remember a dream was even rarer.
It was still early in the day and his bounty was known to haunt a little pub near where Din had put the Crest down. He took a little walk around the area to make sure he knew all the ins and outs in the vicinity of the pub. Being aware of his surroundings was just part of the job.
As night fell, he made his way into the pub. He strolled in and found his bounty sitting with a few friends at the bar. Without a word Din just reached over and put the puck down in front of him. A couple of his buddies knew of The Mandalorian's reputation and made themselves scarce. There were still two idiots who thought they stood a chance. While his bounty just sat there. The two idiots came at Din.
The one at the front was quickly dispatched with a single blaster shot. Din simply stood aside to let him fall and trained his blaster on the second who was frozen in his tracks. It was clear he wasn’t coming any further. Din just cocked his head to the side a bit and the idiot took the hint and took off.
The Twi’lek smuggler was now Dins prisoner and he walked him quietly to the Crest. In fact he hadn’t spoken a word during his whole stop on Ryloth.
As soon as they were aboard. He gave the guy a trip to carbonate camp. Alone once more, Din felt like his old self again.
Cold and Humorless.
On to the next. The next bounty was a bail jumper. This one took him to closer to the boarder of the mid-rim. Naboo was a lush and green place but Din didn’t care much for Gungans. With any luck this would be a short trip. Gungans were a peaceful and law abiding race. Perhaps this Bounty figured he could take advantage of these people.
Soon he won’t be their problem anymore. Din had tracked him to a hotel on the edge of Theed. The capitol city. With a few discreet trips though the lobby he determined that his bounty was working at this hotel. Din decided he may as well get a room. This was a nice place. He could have a nice meal sent up and take the bounty with him when he checks out.
What a luxury for Din to have a hot, sit down meal. Although the food was good and he could eat at a leisurely pace free of his helmet, Something was tickling in the back of his brain. Something was wrong. He could feel it.
He had the rare opportunity to sleep in a big comfortable bed too and soon after his meal he was drawn to the bed. Sleep came so quickly it was as if he was being pulled in. He remembers you telling him that if he felt an irresistible pull that he should allow it to take him. There was usually a reason for it. Someone urgently reaching out to him with information he needed to know.
As soon as this force dragged his consciousness out of his body he was there with Grogu. Grogu reached up for Din insisted on being picked up. Once in Dins arms he reached up to touch the side of dins face. This was similar to that dream from yesterday but much more lucid. Din knew he was on the astral plane with Grogu.
Clearly Grogu had reached out to him. It could be that he had just been waiting for Din to catch up with his ability to see long distance.
Because you had guided him trough it, he could now see Grogu. But communication was still touch and go. If there were complicated ideas to relate it was still difficult. Grogu needed to show Din the pictures to make him understand. This was going to be a challenge.
