One of the HOTSEXYTHREESOME
Im not one to share my emotions, let alone right them down for the world to see, but as of late I feel as if Im about to explode. Im currently in a LDR (long distance relationship) and I have never felt so much pain. Dork (my boy friend whom Im going to refer to as on here) has just moved to Massachusetts for college. I could not be more happy for him to peruse his dreams however as I wait to attend college cross country in California I suffer cause I miss him so much. This may sound cliche, but love is only love when your only thought is for the other person. Whats so far from a fairy tale, we struggle with this constant felling of void, and jealousy. "I want to be that person your talking to, instead of me hearing about that person you talked to today.". I had left something with Dork when I dropped him off at the airport that day, and Im dying to get it back. To feel whole again. I only anticipate his calls everyday and when I do hear that his ok I feel sad again that I couldn't see that his ok. SO THE SOLUTION TO MY EVER LONG MELANCHOLY?! Keep so fucking busy I can't spend that down time thinking.
I've noticed that I have gone through a series of stages; kinda reminds me of robot chicken's phase comic about a giraffe http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_Z3lmidmrY. Anyways:
Realization: The moment when it hits you and you face reality that it has truely happen
Powerless: Where nothing can be change and have no idea how to go about the situation
Anger: Cause anger is so much easier to deal with then sadness.
After crying at least once everyday since he has left, I have just been angry and restless. With nothing to keep extremely busy and time to think I am tired of crying. Im not one to give up easily and feeling as if this love is pure and real I won't give up despite all the pain. Sometime I think even the human body naturally avoids pain, including emotional pain. We use methods such as denial, anger and retaliation to feel anything but pain. But its not until we accept the pain and see what its purpose holds can we be happy. I feel once I can understand this can I stop crying. So you guys this is whats going on as of late.
