James Potter: 🥹 “Snivelly!” Severus Snape-Black: 😓🤨 “What?” James Potter: 🥹 “I’ve heard a rather dreadful rumour about you,” Severus Snape-Black: 🤨😒 “…” James Potter: 🗣️ “One about you liking boys…” Severus Snape-Black: 😓 “Blimey, Potter, are you thick? I married a man! Yes, I like boys—I like boys and girls alike!” James Potter: 🫤🙂↔️ “Well then… how about liking me instead?” Severus Snape-Black: 🤨😓 “You did not just come in here, insult my preferences, and then offer yourself as though you’re some sort of premium selection.” James Potter: 🙂↔️ “Recently divorced, well-seasoned, excellent in bed—will see to your satisfaction most handsomely. Fourteen-day trial, no receipt, no refunds,” Severus Snape-Black: 😐 “Oh dear… what became of your house-elf? I wasn’t aware I’d be expected to babysit.” James Potter: 🥹😍 “No need for a house-elf, my sweet Snivelly—I’ll be your baby, starting now,” 😚