Long post ahead…
I have been wearing diapers 24/7 for more than 16 months now. That is not a long time but it’s been a little while. I love it.
Someone just asked me: I anticipate you might get this question a lot, but I'm experiencing lack of confidence/big shame regarding want/need to be consistently padded. What did you do to gain your confidence? What worked for you? What didn't? Just curious. Cheers!
My response:
I had to sit with the message to reflect on how to respond because this feelings of shame and the lack of confidence are strongly experienced when in diapers. And those feelings conflict with the feeling of always wanting to be in diapers. I hope my response is helpful and yet I fear it won’t provide you with the answers you are hoping for. Honestly, I think it helped that I embraced the shame and it brings me some excitement or joy now. How I did that and continue to do that is through the following steps:
-Identify and acknowledge what you want and the feelings it brings: It is powerful to say out loud, “I am a diaper boy. I wear my diapers 24/7.” (Just saying “my diapers” and “diaper boy” makes me feel excited and squirmy.) In addition, stating your feelings for wearing diapers and the contradictory or conflicting feelings that arise is important for me. I would even state how I feel out loud to myself. The identification empowered me.
-Reflect on the feelings: once I stated the feelings, I spent a lot of time thinking about why I feel that way and how does my body and/or mind respond to those feelings. This reflection happened in talking to myself and in journaling. This is a lot of internal q and a that can be done alone or with another. Stating that I feel nervous about being in diapers. Why do I feel nervous? I feel nervous because someone might discover I am in diapers. What would happen if someone saw your diapers? Well it depends on the person. Etc. Let yourself talk through it and think through the questions and your responses. Honestly that break down can make it a lot less scary and make the what if’s manageable. That can break down the stigma.
-Connect the feelings with something positive: for me, the shame I felt and the reflections I would state out loud created an excited feeling that brought me sexual desire and joy. The humiliation became a big turn on. I explored this with a Dom that talked with me a lot about the humiliation. That worked for me for a while. But it didn’t keep me in diapers. However, it established that desire to always find a positive connection with being in my diapers. Now, for me it’s the smooth feeling of the plastic, the relief of wetting and filling my diaper, the bliss of using a vibrating wand, the excitement I felt when I was in public and heard my diaper crinkle or felt my diaper bulging, etc. I also started liking the feeling and security of wearing plastic pants over my diapers so I started wearing them too. Taking stock of the positive feelings and associations reminded me that the benefits of wearing diapers 24/7 outweigh the challenges, at least for me.
-Talk with others about the feelings: Talking with others has been very helpful in some ways but I also realized that I became unhappy when I depended on others to explore process my feeling about diapers. Eventually, talking with others became something that did not help me and I needed to depend on other strategies.
-Hypnosis files: I found diaper hypnosis files on YouTube and on Reddit that I really enjoy using from time to time, whether it is when I sleep, when I am exercising, or when I am relaxing. Sometimes I would put in headphones and listen to a hypnosis file instead of music. That helped because they became mantras that helped my subconscious. I found it relaxing at times. But I found at other times I am not enjoying nor feeling relaxed by the hypnosis files, so I use them occasionally. These files tell you that you need diapers and I always will wear only diapers. There are a lot of variations that I like. My favorites are from HypnoCat (I even bought their files because I liked their voice and how they scripted the files; plus I wanted to support another ABDL putting something out there for the community). Honestly there are a lot of good files and choices on YouTube. Some of the field from other artists are more like stories that they guide you through, which are also enjoyable.
-Reading stories of others wearing diapers: I think it has really helped me to read stories about others in diapers. It reminds me I am not the only one and can help me process and reflect on my feelings. Plus, some of the stories can be very erotic and arousing. I enjoy ABDL stories from Tumblr, Nifty, Diaper-Bois, and even on my Kindle.
-Practice and time: The more I wear diapers, the less I experience negative emotions about being in diapers. It normalizes the experience and makes diapers part of your life and routine. This is important. Also, the more I wear diapers and get used to wetting anytime I feel the need, the less confident I feel that I could go without wearing diapers and not have an accident. Plus, the more practice you have at the daily life of using diapers, the less nervous I have felt, including preparing and carrying extra diapers and changing supplies, finding a place to change my diaper when out in public, changing in a busy public toilet, walking to a garbage can in view of others while you toss out your used diaper, going through TSA in a wet diaper, etc. There are so many new experiences that will initially make routine tasks fresh. That is exciting!
- Get the supplies that work for you: It is so important to figure out what you need to be healthy and feel your best wearing diapers. I like selecting the right diaper for what I am going to do and who I will be with (e.g. thicker diapers at night and dependable yet less bulky diapers during the day for work). I found that CeraVe moisturizing cream along with baby powder was important for my skin care and I use them for every change. I found that plastic pants that fit well over my diapers helps conceal smells and I wear them frequently. I have even started wearing onesies at times when it feels right.
Ultimately, the most important thing I ask myself time and time again is: do diapers make my life better? Since committing to wearing diapers 24/7, the answer every day is yes, diapers make my life better. Honestly, when I think of never wearing diapers or not wearing diapers at times, it makes me feel unhappy. Actually I now feel more stressed at the thought of not wearing diapers. I do have a need for my diapers and diapers make my life better. It is true that people may see me in my diapers for some reason. I have accepted that though I don’t want that to happen. If it happens, it happens. I will ask myself if it is worth it and if my life is better with or without diapers. So far, my life has always been better in diapers.