i can post a little hollanov! as a treat!
Nothing has made me more borderline obsessive than heated rivalry so pls enjoy the resurgence of duo fic!
—exerpt from a larger fic—
“I forget that you and Shane are married until moments like these. I think germaphobe Hollander would have rather died than share a towel with me.” JJ laughs, and then they’re all laughing again, except for Shane.
“Maybe not with you, Boiziau, you’re fucking gross, man.” He chirps, smiling and rolling his eyes. “You should see the kind of shit he’d get up to in the Voyageurs locker room. Disgusting.”
JJ points a finger at Shane. “I was not as bad as fucking Comeau, and you know it, Capitaine. With him brushing his teeth in the shower and spitting on other people’s feet.”
Shane lets his head fall back just a bit, laughing. Marlow and Ilya both look mildly horrified at this information, making eye contact with each other across the table before breaking out into giggles. Luca sits up in his chair and somehow manages to almost fall out of it. He recovers himself quickly, his hands gripping the edge of the table while he leans forward excitedly. “That’s nothing. This guy I played with in Zurich, for J18? He would piss in the shower with everyone else right there. We asked him to stop so many times that eventually, one of my teammates bought him a pack of diapers and banned him from the showers. He plays for San Francisco, so he’s their problem now.”
Cliff turns to look at Luca with his mouth dropped open. “Oh, shit, you mean Hischier?” and then, when Luca nods, his face falls. “I’m rooming with him this weekend.”
Luca pats him on the shoulder sympathetically and wishes him luck, clinking his beer against Cliff’s glass and taking a long sip while Cliff finishes his own. Scott is howling with laughter between them, saying wait wait between one peal and the next. “Hollander wore his socks in the shower at his rookie All-Star Game.”
Shane has to pull himself out of Ilya’s side to defend himself. “That’s not even that bad, plus I forgot my shower shoes! Am I just supposed to go barefoot?”
“Yes!” Comes from Cliff, Scott, and JJ all at once.
“Roz, you’re awfully quiet over there,” Cliff says while filling his glass with the bottle Ilya ordered. “What’s your worst locker room story?”
“Probably your gross hair in the drains, Marly.” Ilya laughs, moving his own glass to where Cliff is filling his own.
“I’m not refilling you now, fuck you, man.” He replies, pulling the bottle close and shaking his head at Ilya.
“Ilya has a lame answer because he’s part of the problem,” Shane says, pushing closer to him and tickling at his side. “He jacks it in communal showers.”
“That was one time! And it got me husband!” He shouts over raucous laughter. “I think we all know you liked it, Hollander.”