BLINDSIDED → dallas and auggie
At first he was angry, fuming with rage as he made his way back to Indian Creek. How dare she? After all he did for her; after all he wanted to do for them, their future. Did Juliette not realize what mistake she was making? She knew what he was capable of, she knew the extent of what his temper could grow to and she still went for it. What was Augustus supposed to do? He had never been left in the dust before like that, well no – it wasn’t the first time she left him but he thought seeing her again – it couldn’t have been anything less than fate but she ruined it, just like she ruined everything else.
Auggie liked the bon viveur life he led, a God among mortals, a king among pawns breathing for his betterment, he didn’t have time for trivial things such as love and compassion, not even it didn’t work in his favor; he had given up so much for her, it didn’t seem like it but he really did and it made him feel stupid and idiotic. Why do these things if he wasn’t going to get the proper reward in the end? He felt stupid to think Juliette would ever truly love him; Auggie always hated feeling like he needed Jake more than Jake needed him, from the outside it looked like the other way around but Jacob was the only person Auggie ever felt dependent on and once again he was left feeling foolish.
Addiction is chasing the very first high, because no high will ever match the first, on the other hand, Auggie had started to use the high to maintain his numb, he didn’t feel anything and little bumps between meetings, lines in the hotel with rambunctious beautiful girls, it didn’t where it was as long as he had it. He had been clean for a while, being out of Miami gave him clarity and it was easy to just be without the need to use; so it shouldn’t have been surprise one line wouldn’t be enough.
It wasn’t thick enough so he made a thicker one, the high didn’t last long enough so he cut another one and another one until he had nothing left and found his phone to call Elliot, it wasn’t enough, the pain, the agony and, he was done with the anger. There are five stages of grief long gone was the denial and isolation, the anger was slowly ebbing away, he didn’t have it in him to bargain, everyone already thought he was stupid for thinking Juliette was going to actually come back, what Thatcher felt had to be deeper than depression if it was possible and he had finally accepted the fact that Juliette and him were to never ever see each other again, that she wanted nothing to do with him, that he of all people were nothing to her.
It wasn’t working, what was the point of drugs if they didn’t take away the pain? Or was it the drug of choice? Auggie suddenly remembered he had tramadol in the pool house for safe keeping and stood up quickly but… What was he supposed to do? It was like his memory had suddenly changed tabs on him and he couldn’t remember what he was going outside for, right – tramadol. He stumbled outside, using the ring of his shirt to wipe the sweat off of his face, it was like someone was sitting on his chest and he couldn’t breathe properly and the sad part about it all was that he still wanted Juliette, he wanted his princess to come and tell him it was a sick joke, that she wanted him, needed him, loved him unconditionally and would never leave him again.
His vision grew blurry as he kicked pool toys and inflatables out of the way, just a couple more steps and he’d be in the pool house, pain free but he couldn’t stop shaking and all of sudden things went white as Thatcher’s body broke into a seizure, his body hitting the concrete edge of the pool before falling in.