Old friends - Call the Midwife Updated
Patrienne fanfic Summary: Sister Julienne and Doctor Turner have been friends for years. Just friends? In this story Dr. Turner isn`t married and doesn´t have Timothy.
Sister Julienne and Doctor Turner had known each other for years. They were good friends and could rely on each other. When Sister Julienne first met Doctor Patrick Turner he was a young man in the beginning of his thirties and Julienne was in her the beginning of her forties. She had been a nun for twenty years now and so far she had never felt great doubt about her choice to join the order. But the minute Patrick Turner entered her world her perspective began to change. His eyes and the way he looked at her. The way he would “accidently” brush her hand when reaching for something. She would blush and look down a little shy. They shared the same humor and they both felt connected - somehow. Within his first year as a GB in Poplar, Patrick got the habit of joining Sister Julienne for tea before evening prayer. They would either sit in her office or in the garden talking about their day. Not every day but more than once a week. It didn’t go unnoticed by the other nuns and nurses, but since they spent almost all their time together within ears shot no one thought of it. During his first winter in Poplar things evolved a bit. Patrick and Julienne were helping a young mother delivering twins at the far end of the docks. It was almost 3 am before they could call it a night. Julienne got on her bike. There was a dense fog surrounding the docks. Frost was slowly covering the ground and making the wet cobbles icy. Almost no sound could be heard except from water running in the harbor and the groaning from rope holding on to the boats. Two cats ran across the road and tipped over a few wooden boxes. It scared the hell out of Julienne who tried to avoid the silly cats but the tires slipped and she fell over on her bike. She hit her head hard on the cobbles. Darkness engulfed her. A few minutes later Dr. Turner came by in his car. The headlights shone bright when they hit the metal of the bike. He stopped the car, got out fast and ran to Juliennes. “Sister, are you alright? He kneeled and turned her onto her back. She had a large gash on her forehead and she was unconscious. He lifted her into the back of his car and got her bag too. The bike was left behind, safe against a wall. They were close to Patrick’s one-room flat so he brought her there. He didn’t have a settee, so he carried her to his bed where he examined her head for a concussion and cleaned her head wound. He removed her wimple and light brown hair flooded into his hands. She looked absolutely beautiful. He tried to make her comfortable and while waiting for her to wake up, he made himself a cup of tea. He called Nonnatus House to let them know the whereabouts of Sister Julienne. It had been a long night delivering the twins. Doctor Turner sat himself on the opposite side of the bed. He was exhausted and slid down on the pillows. As the sun rose outside a bright ray of light awoke Julienne. Her head felt as big as a house, throbbing, she was a bit nauseous and felt something heavy across her stomach. She slowly opened her eyes and turned her head to the left to find Doctor Turners face inches from hers. His left arm around her stomach. With big eyes she tried to remember what had happened. She found it hard to focus on her surroundings. Then she remembered her bike accident. Her right hand went to her forehead and felt a big bandage. “What on earth was going on here?” she thought to herself Doctor Turner felt her stir and opened his eyes to look straight into her blue ones. They looked at little shocked. He removed his arm and got up a little fast “Oh good you´re awake. How are you feeling?” “I’m, I’m…” She wasn’t quite sure how she felt. Patrick found his stethoscope and checked her out. ”You seem better Sister. I´m sorry for the location. The fog was pretty dense and we were close to my flat. I hope it´s alright? I phoned Nonnatus and they know you´re here” Julienne sat upright and placed her feet on the floor holding her head and ribcage and tried to stand, but she underestimated her balance and landed on the floor and cried out. Her ribs hurt like hell. Doctor Turner fast at her side lifted her from the floor and onto the bed again but lost his balance and landed on top of Julienne. She let out a loud sigh - her ribs screaming in pain. “Oh God my ribs!” She almost couldn’t speak the words, the pain was overwhelming. “Sorry Sorry… you hurt your ribs?” She didn’t answer; she was out of breath - Her hands holding her ribcage - gasping for air. Doctor Turner quickly removed her apron and opened her habit, but she still had a layer of undergarment to go through, so Patrick decided to rip the last layer and finely he could take her ribs into assessment. They were dark blue on her right side. He tried to calm her down while he felt around her ribcage. She had a few bruised ribs and Patrick gave her a shot of morphine. Her breathing became lighter. “Oh I´m so sorry Julienne” “It´s okay Patrick” She whispered still finding it hard to breathe. They had agreed first names were fine as long as they were alone. It was quite unorthodox – not even the sisters left out their title when addressing each other. “I´m so sorry about your dress” She hadn´t noticed –she was occupied with her breathing. Her hands found the shredded material and tried to cover her stomach. Patrick pulled a blanket over her for privacy and left to telephone Nonnatus. It was almost 8.30 am and he wanted to let them know of the situation. 15 min later Sister Monica Joan arrived on her bike to assist the doctor. Julienne was asleep and fortunately Sister Monica Joan didn’t notice the state of Juliennes torn habit because of the blanket. But she did comment on her missing wimple. But the bandage on Juliennes forehead made a wimple impossible. The morning went by. Sister Julienne was moved back to Nonnatus where the sisters cared for her. A few weeks later Doctor Turner stopped by to check on Julienne. She was reaching for some boxes of aprons in the cupboard. Patrick heard noise from the cupboard and arrived just in time to catch Julienne as she buckled under the big box clutching her ribcage which was still very sore and took her breath away. Patrick caught Julienne and pulled her back as the heavy box landed before their feet. He held her quite close. They were staring into each other’s eyes and he couldn’t resist the temptation anymore - he kissed her! A little hard at first, afraid she would pull back. But when she didn’t pull away - their kiss softened and became passionate. When the kiss stopped they just stared at each other. “I´m sorry” Patrick whispered “”Don´t be” she answered. She sighed when he let go of her. Her ribs hurt. “Those ribs still bothering you?” “Just a bit” she lied holding on to her side, slightly out of breath. “Would you like me to have a look at it? I´d like to make sure you´re okay” “Alright. But we better get a supervisor” She smiled at him – a twinkle in her eye – sending butterflies through his stomach. They went to her cell with Sister Monica Joan as their chaperone. Julienne got undressed and was standing in her underdress only. Bra’s were not standard issue for a nun, so she couldn’t very well drop the underdress, therefore she lifted it up to her chest, but the action hurt her ribs. Arms in the air was not a pleasant position. Sister Monica Joan was reading in the corner, somehow forgetting to pay attention to the reason why she was there. She had become more and more distracted lately. Forgetting places and situations. Patrick felt the soft skin of Juliennes waist and ribcage. He couldn’t help but notice the round figure of her breasts and the dark circle of her areolas through the thin fabric of the underdress. He saw the lower side of her breast: A handful each he thought to himself. He really had to focus on her ribs, but by accident his hand brushed her right breast and she inhaled a bit fast. This caught Sister Monca Joans attention: “Are you in much pain sister?” Monica Joan asked? “I’m sorry sister” Patrick said, as to answer Monica Joan’s question and not lead her attention to the quite naked scene taking place in front of her. “It´s alright doctor” Julienne blushed a bit, very much aware of the state of her undressed body and its influence on the man in front of her. “Sister Monica Joan, could I ask you to bring me three bandages from the clinic room downstairs? I´d like to make a compression on Sister Julienne’s ribcage again. I´m afraid we removed the previous bandage too soon” Sister Monica Joan was in a different world, thinking of the perfect place for Sister Evangelina to hide the afternoon cake. But she suddenly remembered her time and place when the doctor addressed her. “Of cause doctor, I´ll be right back” Julienne let down her dress and looked directly into the eyes of the good doctor. As soon as Sister Monica Joan left the cell, Doctor Turner turned towards Julienne and embraced her softly. She cupped his face and they kissed slowly – deeply. His hands roaming her back as one hand found the soft round breast and its hard nipple. She was a bit cold but also very turned on. Oh God she felt so good – so soft Patrick thought to himself. They both groaned and he backed her towards the wall. She let out a whimper from the pain in her ribs as she gently hit the wall with her back. Patrick pushed himself against her and lifted her left leg and it went around his hip. His fingers slipped under her dress and caressed her bum and almost further in between her briefs. He almost felt her down below but Julienne stopped him. This was going too far. Sister Monica Joan would be back any minute now. They stopped kissing - resting their foreheads against each other. Breathing heavily. They took a few steps away from each other as they heard footsteps on the stairs. Sister Monica Joan returned with the bandages and Doctor Turner wrapped Sister Julienne nice and tight around the ribcage. They continued their friendship – opportunities of small endeavors and meetings in the early night. Mostly they just met in Juliennes office for afternoon tea. They controlled themselves – most of the time. The year was 1949. Doctor Turner was 35 and Sister Julienne was 44. They joked and smiled talking about patients in the kitchen of the community center. It had been a long day and the rich thick summer air and the orange afternoon light filled the room. Dr. Turner opened a few buttons to get some cold air to his neck and ran his handkerchief over his forehead as he was leaning against the kitchen table only a few steps away from where Julienne was boiling water and cleaning some instruments. They were talking and laughing about how Sister Evangelina’s temper had gotten the better of her, when all of a sudden the heat from the boiling water, the hot summer air and the heavy uniform and wimple all of a sudden became too much for Julienne. She swayed a bit and griped the tabletop for support. She swallowed hard as dizziness overcame her. Doctor Turner noticed her change in posture and supported her by her elbow and around her waist. “Sister, are you alright?” He steadied her and led her towards the nearby chair and where she sat down. “I´m sorry.. I don’t know what came over me”. He kneeled in front of her and put a hand to her forehead and to fingers to her wrists for her pulse. She was clammy, red cheeked and she was a bit out of breath. “We need to cool you down a bit my dear” Her eyes were closed as she tried to stop the world from spinning. Doctor Turner put a wet cold cloth on her forehead and to the back of her neck. “Please let me to remove your collar and unbutton your uniform? Let’s get you cooled down”. She nodded her consent thinking nothing of it with Doctor Turner being her old friend, colleague and GP. He opened her uniform in the front and she pulled it down her shoulders. Dr. Turner brushed the back and front of her neckline to cool her down. He repeated his actions over and over and slowly her dizziness reduced. He was pleased his actions were working and her breathing normalized. Being her friend didn’t stop him from being a man, and he couldn’t help himself as his eyes followed a few drops of water running down her cleavage. Her white underdress was getting quite wet. He stopped his actions for a moment and placed two fingers on her wrists feeling her pulse. She looked at his hand and turned her own to hold the doctors hand: ”Thank you. I´m all better now” she smiled at him. He squeezed her hand and flashed her one of his famous smiles “I´m glad – you must take care of yourself” “yes doctor” she began to button up her uniform realizing it was quite wet. “It seems I´m in need of a dry uniform” she smiled. “I’m sorry, I might have gone a bit too far on the amount of water, but better to be soaked than passed out on the floor” “you´re quite right doctor” She smiled. “Are we the last ones left?” She asked “I believe so! Let me give you a lift back to Nonnatus!” “Thank you doctor. That’s very kind of you” “Speak nothing of it” He helped her put on her collar. “There, all set” He lend her his arm for support just to make sure her dizziness was gone. He held her close to him and kissed her on her cheek. They walked out the door arm in arm stopping on the steps. Julienne took a deep breath and slowly exhaled “Mmm the smell of afternoon summer sun” “Yes, perfect weather for a picnic wouldn’t you say sister?” They walked towards the car. “I can´t even begin to remember the last time I went on a picnic” They were seated in the car and the engine was turned on. The doctor felt sorry for his friend. Surely a picnic could be arranged. Just because you were a nun didn’t mean life should pass you by. It was the little things that could make life worthwhile.
Three days later Sister Julienne and Doctor Turner were driving to the countryside talking and laughing. Windows rolled down and the hot wind in their faces. They stopped at a small stream and were seated on a blanket. Julienne had brought sandwiches and the doctor a bottle of cold cider. It was times like these Julienne envied women in summer dresses and loose hair in the light summer wind. She felt like she was cooking in her own dress and decided there would be no harm in removing her shoes and let herself feel the grass between her toes. It pleased the doctor that his friend felt comfortable enough in his presence to let her guard down a little. He loved seeing her like this. Like a woman and not a nun. He felt sorry for her in her warm uniform. He spotted a chance for a bit of a cool down, the stream. He offered her his hand “Let´s get our feet wet, shall we?” “Oh yes, let´s” She used to love going for a swim. Now she had to satisfy for her feet to swim and not the rest of her. The rocky ground was a bit slippery, so they sat by the bank of the stream with their feet in the water. Sun in their faces - Julienne was still cooking inside her wimple. So she made a decision: She removed her wimple! Dr. Turner looked at her smiling from ear to ear. Julienne shook her head and her damp shoulder long hair felt fantastic in the warm breeze. Julienne decided her collar could go as well and for a moment the good doctor wondered how far his good friend would let go. Julienne stopped by removing the front side of her uniform, her apron you might call it. All that was left was Julienne sitting in her basic uniform. She opened a few buttons at her neck and lay back on the grass. Doctor Turner followed her lead. They laid there in silence enjoying the sun on their faces and the cold water around their feet. Turner took hold of her hand and Julienne squeezed his hand in return. He thought of what the world would have looked like if his good friend had not been a head nun. As if she could read his mind she said:”If anyone came by they would mistake us for a married couple, don’t you think? - Imagine what the world could have looked like for the two of us, had I not given my vows to the lord?” He was surprised at her statement and popped up on one elbow - his head resting on his shoulder looking at this beautiful woman laid next to him. His eyes followed her peaceful face, her hair on the ground, down to the rising and falling of her chest. Her right hand resting on her abdomen. Her legs slightly bend and parted, and her feet slowly moving in the water. “Do you realize how absolutely breathtaking you look right now?” She opened her eyes and stared right into the calm eyes of the man she had come to trust more than anyone. She smiled a bit and continued to hold his gaze. He leaned forward stopping just in front of her face. He searched her eyes for permission and he had it. He kissed her gently at first. Then more fiercely. Her right arm went around his neck to his soft hair. He was lost. Her soft moan sent him over the hill. His left hand stroked her ribs and down her waistline, down her right hip to her thigh. His finger softly removed her dress on her knee and he suddenly felt her warm skin. He continued his kisses down her neck and back to her soft lips. She was everything he had imagined, and yes he imagined about her… as his hand moved from her knee to the inside of her thigh she stopped him. A hand on his chest: “Doctor – maybe we should stop. We are after all in a public place” He looked deep into her eyes “yes – you may be right” he smiled and retreated his hand. Still longing to feel her. He stood up and offered her his hand. “let’s cool off in the water shall we?” she smiled back at him “yes lets” They walked on the rocky ground in the stream not talking just enjoying the water and relaxing watersounds.. Without the front of her uniform Sister Julienne looked like a regular woman enjoying a day off. They were not more than an hour drive from the East End but it felt like a different world. The sun was getting a bit low in the horizon. “Should we be getting back Patrick?” He didn’t want to. He liked haven her all to himself. “Yes maybe we should” They turned around and started walking upstream again, Sister Julienne first in line, when her foot slipped on the small stones and she landed face down in the water. Dr. Turner fast at her side helped her onto her feet both laughing. “Somehow I always end up covered with water in your company Patrick” “Yes what a mess” he grinned “Let’s get you home and into some dry clothes. Again” When they arrived at the car Doctor Turner embraced Julienne. Wanting her to himself one last time and not wanting the day to end. “How many years have we been doing this dance darling?” She placed both her hand on each side of his face caressing his cheeks. “I´ve stopped counting” she smiled “You´re soaking wet – you´ll catch a cold. We should get you out of those wet clothes” “Oh wouldn’t you just love that sir!” she giggled. He would actually he thought to himself. “There´s a wooden cabin not far from here. We could go there, get you out of those wet clothes and enjoy the rest of our dinner. Or would you prefer arriving at Nonnatus looking like this? And a thousand questions” “It´s almost six o´clock. The others will get worried” “Alright – but did warn you. Sister Evangelina will have a few questions for sure”.
They got into the car and Doctor Turner turned the key but nothing happened. He tried again still nothing. He got out of the car and popped the hood when a rodent almost jumped into in his face. “Jesus, what the hell does that thing want in the engine room?” but quickly he realized the wild animal had a bite on one of the wiring. Needless to say they were stuck here. In the middle of nowhere. “How long will it take to walk to the nearest village?” “At least three hours. We drove for quite a while to get here. I´m sorry love. What a mess” Julienne shivered “Think nothing of it” Julienne rubbed her arms, she was freezing. The sun had lost its heat and the fabric of her uniform was not getting dryer. “The wood cabin is not more than a mile from here. What do you say? Should we seek shelter for the night?” Turner asked “Had my clothes not been wet we could have walked to the nearest village. But I must admit I’m getting quite cold. Let´s go…and hope we can start a fire”
They brought their picnic blanket, food and cider and made it for the cabin. 15 minutes later they had the small cabin in sight over a small hill. They had left a note by the car, explaining their whereabouts.
As soon as they got inside the cabin Patrick found some wood and fired up the fireplace. Julienne got out of her wet clothes but was unsure of how much she should strip off. Patrick and julienne had been friends – and almost more- for a few years. Stolen kisses and sometimes a bit more. But he had never seen her completely undressed before. So she left her undergarments on. Just as she was about to cover herself with their picnic blanket Patrick turned around “You better get that wet thing off too dear. The blanket will get wet and then we have nothing to warm us in the night”. She looked down a little shy and he felt her embarrassment. It was getting darker outside. The big forest trees were hiding the last light of the sun. But the light from the fire lit up the room a bit. Patrick walked over to Julienne. “I promise you, nothing will happen – unless you want it to” He smiled at her and she returned a small smile. Patrick lifted her underdress over her head and she held his gaze as she stood naked in front of him only wearing her briefs. She held herself to shield her breasts but the good doctor was forever the gentleman. He wrapped the blanket around her, never looking down.. They sat in front of the fire finishing the last of the cider and chatting. Joking and laughing so hard the blanket slid down Juliennes shoulders revealing bare skin in the firelight. Julienne couldn’t stop laughing and hadn´t noticed, but Patrick had. Oh how he wished for the blanket to reveal more… She noticed he had stopped laughing and looked him in the eye following his gaze. What she saw was raw desire and she felt herself getting hot inside. She stood up slowly and walked over to Patrick - and then she let go of the blanket. He too stood up and embraced in a hot desire of kisses. Patrick quickly spread out the blanket on the floor and they lay down. Patrick was quick to lose his shirt and pants. Julienne lay on her back. Patrick lay on his side popped up on one arm. He caressed her cheek, her shoulder, her arm, her chest, her breast, her stomach, her abdomen. “I´ve dreamed about this for years love” She gave him a dazzling smile “Me too dear” Julienne reached for him and pulled him into a deep kiss. She opened herself to him and he got in between her legs. They felt comfortable, like this was nothing new. They made love and they slept in each other’s arms – wrapped in a picnic blanket.
They awoke by the first morning light. Wet clothes had become dry and so they set onwards for the long trek towards the village, but it didn’t take long before they were met by Fred’s little truck. He had been out searching for them for an hour. He took a look at the doctors car and fortunately Fred was quite the mechanic. He was able to fix the doctors car temporarily. They returned home. Their lives continued. Their friendship continued but no more time for picnics.
A week or so later Patrick was looking for Julienne at Nonnatus House: “Excuse me Sister Bernadette, have you seen Sister Julienne?” “Yes she is in the uniform cupboard. She shouldn´t be long. I can get her for you?” “Oh no, thank you sister. I know my way” he smiled at the young nun. When he reached the cupboard with the uniforms, he sneaked inside without a sound and grasped Julienne around the waist while turning her around “Hello pretty girl”. Julienne let out a loud gasp – surprised by the touch and by the company. “Patrick! – what on earth?” He pushed her further in the closet with his hands on her hips seeking her lips for a kiss while the door closed. “Patrick what are you up too?” “Not much. Just this!” He kissed her a bunch of small kisses as he drew her close to him. Her arms came around his neck and kissed him in return: “But Patrick we are …” “I know where we are love, I just couldn´t ..” He didn’t get to say more before the door was opened by Sister Bernadette. Juliennes arms flew to her side and Patrick spun around. “Doctor, Sister – I didn’t know you were still here” “Well..” Patrick stammered. “Is there something I can do for you Sister Bernadette?” Julienne asked “Just fetching an apron” Julienne turned around and reached for an apron and handed it to Sister Bernadette. “Thank you sister” Bernadette didn’t know what to think exactly, about what she had witnessed. Surely the doctor and her mentor Sister Julienne knew what they were doing. They must have been talking – even though they were standing very close – was it even permitted?: To be alone with a man? She went off. “Well that was close” Patrick took a step back “I´m sorry if I have brought you in a difficult spot” “yes – well, I wasn´t exactly forced, was I?” She smiled. He took hold of her hands and kissed her fingertips and then the palm of her hand. “I better be off before I get us into any more trouble” “It was nice of you to stop by” Patrick kissed her forehead. “I don’t know how to stay away. Please tell me to stop” “But I can´t” Julienne gave him a twinkle. “Oh god you smell good” He nuzzled his nose close to her neck, kissed her jaw line. “Patrick?” He cupped her breast. So much woman. Such rich and round figure. Curvy hips. She should be his. “Love, I would give anything to have you - to be mine” “Oh Patrick, don’t say that. you know…” “Yes I know. I´m awfully selfish. But I can´t help it. I feel like you´ve been mine for years…” He took hold of her hands again. “I would give anything for you to be mine. Come live with me? Be my wife?” She looked at their hands. Patrick touched her ring with his thumb: “The thought of loosing you… I can´t bear it” Patrick stopped talking. “You won´t lose me, darling” She looked him directly in the eyes. “You won´t loose me”
Work continued and so did the British summer which was quite hot that year. The nuns, nurses and the dear doctor went about business as they used to. The doctor came by Nonnatus when time allowed it. One evening after supper he came by for clean instruments and saw Sister Julienne sitting in the garden enjoying the last sunlight with her eyes closed. The singing from the birds were particular beautiful and the smell of evening dew was intoxicating. “Hello, might I join you this lovely evening?” She opened her eyes to see Patrick taking a seat next to her on the bench. She smiled and reached for his hand and held it in her lap. “You´re always welcome – you know that ” They talked a bit about their day. Julienne heard footsteps coming towards them and Patrick let go of Juliennes hand. “So this is where I should find you sister!” Sister Evangelina stated. “It´s almost time for our evening prayer” “I´ll be right there Sister” Julienne gave Patrick a small apologetic smile as she stood up. “I´m sorry, please excuse me” she briefly brushed his shoulder. “See you … another time” He took hold of her hand and smiled a little sad “Of cause” He hated to let go of her.. The little incident didn´t go by Sister Evangelina. Maybe the doctor had a tough experience during the day, and therefore needed the consolidation of the head sister. Evangelina thought nothing more of it.
A few weeks went by. Work was a constant companion and they all felt the pressure and fatigue. They were all at work in the community center. Busy bees flying about tending to their duties. Julienne felt fatigued and nauseous this day. Several times she had to excuse herself to the bathroom. She stopped short to support herself on a nearby chair. Nausea and dizziness overcame her. She put a hand to her mouth - swallowing hard trying to contain her stomach contents. She swayed on her feet. Sister Monica Joan came up next to Julienne and steadied her around the waist. “Let´s sit you down dear. You´re not well” “I don’t know what came over me. I find myself quite dizzy and nauseous”. “Clinic will be over soon. Why don’t you go home and put your feet up. The rest of us will finish up here. Not much left anyway” “but…” “I´ve seen you dear. You´ve been poorly all day. Go home. Find rest. You clearly need it!” Julienne agreed to call it a day. She smiled at Patrick on her way out. They could all need a break - he too looked tired. Julienne thought back at their picnic. The sun, the water between her toes and… she felt herself blush at the thought of the ending of that day.. Her eyes met Dr. Turners and she quickly looked away while smiling shy. Her shy smile didn’t go unnoticed by Patrick who could only guess the cause of his blushing friend and he too smiled wicked at the memory of the firelight in the wood cabin. The warm soft skin and gentle kisses. He longed for her touch, her embrace and lying in her arms. Felling her body against his. He forced himself to change his mind of thoughts. This was not proper thinking in public.
Summer gave way to autumn. Once again doctor Turner and Sister Julienne were alone in the kitchen – she was boiling water but this time for a cup of tea, and the good doctor was joking away next to her when she all of a sudden became dizzy and nauseous. She reached for him and he immediately saw what was coming and quickly grasped her by the waist and steered her towards the sink where she threw up. “Are you okay love?” Her eyes were closed and her hand went to her forehead while the other hand was holding on to the tabletop. “I´m not sure. I´ve been having these dizzy spells and nausea for a couple of weeks or so” Sister Evangelina was entering the community center but came to a halt behind the door to the kitchen, when she overheard the conversation between the doctor and Julienne. Did her just call her love? What was going on here? “A couple of weeks?! And you didn’t think to tell me?! Sit down let me take a look at you” Doctor Turner sat down in front of Julienne: “Look at me please” She did. “You´re white as a sheet. Have you experienced any other symptoms?” “Yes - Nausea, fatigue and then the dizzy spells” She looked at him. Afraid what he would assume. “Right… You know what this sounds like, don’t you?” She kept her eyes on him “Yes. But surely at my age…” “How long since our picnic?” he asked “I´m not sure - about three months?” she answered “But surely Patrick – I can´t be… Please tell me that can´t be” “Come by the clinic tomorrow and we´ll do a blood sample.. It´s probably just fatigue. You´re overworked. I´ll drive you home. You need some rest” At this point Sister Evangelina had heard enough and made her presence know. “Are you coming back today sister or should I come back tomorrow?” Doctor Turner quickly stood up by Juliennes side. “Please take Sister Julienne back to Nonnatus and straight to bed. She´s overworked and needs to rest. See that she comes by the clinic tomorrow. If she´s too tired I´ll stop by on my rounds. Just call me” He squeezed Juliennes shoulder “take it easy okay?” “Yes doctor” she smiled at him and brushed his hand. Evangelina supported Julienne on their way out.
When they arrived back at Nonnatus Julienne went straight to bed – Sister Evangelina saw to that. After the evening prayer Evangelina went to Juliennes cell - Knocked and went in and sat beside Julienne on her bed. “So Sister how are you?” Evangelina took hold of Juliennes hand. “I overheard your conversation with Doctor Turner……” She looked down “What exactly are your relations with the doctor? Are you having a love affair with him?” Julienne was a bit stunned but from whom, if not Evangelina, to expect a direct question? “Doctor Turner and I have been close friends for a number of years, but never lovers… ” “Your picnic? Was that a part of the plan, cause I´ll tell you! We were worried sick about you - where you were – what might have happened” “No It was not planned. He´s my good friend…” Julienne looked down at her hands. “I´m so sorry sister… I don’t know what…” “Well, get some rest like the doctor ordered” Evangelina made for a stand but Julienne took hold of her hand “surely I can´t… I can´t be…” She couldn’t get the words over her lips. “Couldn´t what sister?” Apparently Sister Evangelina hadn`t heard everything in the kitchen and didn´t assume the outcome of their night in the cabin. “Never mind” Julienne thought better to keep it to herself. For now.
Julienne spent the night speculating. What were her options? Could this be happening? How in the world could this have happened? She had seen how women had tried to get rid of their pregnancy – hot baths or drinking Epsom salts. She could try that. But better wait and see what the blood sample would say. She wasn´t alone – she had Patrick – of that she was sure. She needed sleep.
Next morning she awoke to the commotion of nuns and nurses. There were 18-100 births taking place every month in poplar. They had seven women in labor all at once, and Sister Julienne suddenly had other things to tend to. She crossed path with Doctor Turner at one of the home deliveries in the late evening. He kept an eye on her – she felt it. They met in the small kitchen where he took hold of her hand if only for a second. “How are you?” “I´m much better thank you. Just a little fatigue” She didn’t dare look him in the eye. He would see straight through her. He squeezed her hand. He knew she wasn´t telling the truth. The labor was a difficult one and morning had become afternoon and the labor continued into the evening and night.. Patrick telephoned for Sister Evangelina to take over. Exhaustion was evident on Juliennes face, though it was rare she didn’t follow a childbirth to the door. She was nipping on a Marie biscuit when Patrick approached her from behind. “I hope you´re going straight home to bed” She didn’t turn around - she was fighting a brush of nausea. “I am doctor. Just making sure Sister Evangelina has the information needed to take over” “May I give you a lift to Nonnatus?” “Are you not needed here?” “I think Evangelina is on top of things, and can spare me half an hour” He put his hand on her shoulder “Come now love, let’s get you home” “YOU STILL HERE SISTER?” Evangelina was in command mode, and the scene in the kitchen didn´t go by unnoticed. What was going on between the two of them she thought. “I´m taking Sister Julienne to Nonnatus if you can spare me Sister?” “Well of cause I can. Now get going. This baby will be here within the hour, I guarantee it. I will call you if I need you doctor” In the car Sister Julienne got comfortable in the seat and even though it wasn´t more than a 10 min drive to Nonnautus, she was fast asleep before they rounded the first corner. Patrick was driving slowly. When they arrived at Nonnatus he turned off the engine and faced his sleeping darling. She looked peaceful. He missed their night in the cabin, on the floor with her in his arms. Maybe he should kidnap her and force her into marriage with him. Living in an isolated island. Having her all to himself. He was being foolish... He kissed her forehead and her cheek. She stirred and looked straight into his eyes. She smiled a bit. “I must have dozed off” “No wonder. You´ve been on your feet for more than 16 hours. Have anyone ever told you how beautiful you are when you´re sleeping?” He smiled “ I´ll help you inside” She welcomed his help. Arm in arm they walked up the stairs. From a window a few feet up Sister Monica Joan watched the two friends coming up the stairs and to a stand at the front door - but what came next she certainly hadn´t expected: Standing at the front door - holding her hands - Doctor Turner leaned in and kissed Sister Julienne!… on her lips!.. in the still of the night! Sister Monica Joan caught her breath – hand to her mounth.. Doctor Turner slowly pulled away still holding her hands. “Patrick we need to talk. This can´t go on” “I know love. We´ll talk tomorrow when you´re well rested. We could go for a drive. You´re not alone – you know that right?” She looked at their hands then put her right hand on her abdomen. She looked him straight in the eye. Talking without words just with their eyes. “You are not alone, love!” “I feel alone. I feel despair” He pulled her into a fierce hug He couldn´t stand her words - he would make her the happiest woman alive – if she´d let him. They pulled apart and he put his hand on her abdomen. “This is a part of me too, remember. We´ll have to tell soon. You´ll be showing before long. You can’t hide it forever” Tears were forming in her eyes. “Yes I know – sorry, I better get in” “Of cause. I´ll see you tomorrow. I love you” He kissed her again, and from Sister Julienne returned his kiss. “And I you” She entered the hall and walked inside. In a small window no more than a few feet up, Sister Monica Joan didn’t know what to think – both the kissing but also the words she had just heard. She just sat there – astonished! Was Sister Julienne in a relationship with Doctor Turner? Was she caring his child? She couldn´t believe it!
A week went by. Then another and another. Thankfully things had slowed down a bit at Nonnatus. Outside the rain and autumn stormy weather was reminding them that summer was gone and soon winter would be here. Sister Monica Joan had been keeping an eye on Sister Julienne. She didn´t forget what she had seen nor heard. The doctor had been coming by almost every day and on top of that, he was dining with them tonight. Always pleasant company though the relaxed tone between him and Julienne was quite gone this evening. In fact they were not even seated near each other as they used to… She had been avoiding him. It was almost 5 months since their picnic by the stream. Patrick kept asking Julienne to marry him. She kept him in the dark. She was lost. She didn’t know what to do. Where to turn? She loved God, but could she love him still if not in his service? Late that night she was sitting by the alter in the chapel. Her wimple on a nearby chair together with her collar and the apron of her uniform. Everybody was at sleep. She was praying on her knees. She had opened her dress around her abdomen finding it very tight especially in the afternoon and evening. She missed Patrick. She missed him so much. She had told him when he left that evening. He begged her to come live with him but her thoughts were amiss. She cried silently. Praying for answers. She didn’t hear Sister Monica Joan and Sister Evangelina approaching her. They sat on each side of her and put their arms around her. She was startled and tried to compose herself. Trying to button up her dress – hiding her secret. “Shyyy it´s alright dear” Evangelina pulled Julienne into her chest. “We know you´ve been troubled. Try and relax. Breath” Julienne focused on her breathing and she relaxed a bit. “What exactly is it that you think you know?” Julienne asked Sister Monica Joan took Juliennes hand and looked her in the eye “I saw you and the doctor on the stairs a while back. From the look of it, it would seem the doctor believed you to be with child. His child – am I right?” Julienne looked down at her open dress – tears spilling and shaky hands trying to hide the obvious. She went for a stand but got dizzy on her way up. Evangelina and Monica Joan fast to catch her and help her to the floor. Julienne was placed against Monica Joan and Evangelina put her hand on Juliennes abdomen, pressing it lightly. “How far along are you sister?” Julienne looked away “about 5 months” she whispered. “Have you been having these dizzy spells for long?” “Yes” “Nausea – fatigue?” “Yes” Evangelina kept feeling Juliennes abdomen “Maybe you should talk to the doctor about these symptoms. Distaval might be an option to prevent the fatigue and nausea” Julienne gave Evangelina a stare and tried to close her dress – unsuccessfully. “Please excuse me!” She stood up and took hold of her wimple. “What will you do?” Sister Monica Joan´s shaky voice from behind was more than Julienne could bear. She buried her head in her hands. “I don’t know… I love GOD…but I love Patrick too.. We have loved each other for a few years” “We must see what love can do then. You can´t stay here for much longer” Sister Evangelina said. “Either you should go to Chichester or…” “or what?” Julienne asked “Well this child is coming – liking it or not. And you could marry Doctor Turner, though I hate the thought of loosing you Sister. But it seems to me God has already made en decision for you: You are leaving in one way or another!” Sister Evangelina could be brutally honest, but she was right. No more dancing around the fire. Julienne had to face whatever was coming her way.
Next day she telephoned for Patrick and they went for a ride in the evening. Just outside town they stopped the car. Julienne took off her wimple and let her hair down. She was going to have this conversation as Julienne the woman, and not Sister Julienne the head nun. She knew how Patrick felt, and now she explained her feelings to him. He listened, nodded and finely when it seemed like she had run out of word, he opened a little box and held a gold ring between his fingers. “Julienne, we have loved each other for years. Our night in the cabin was the happiest night in my life and I have longed for you in my arms ever since. We´re both mature people, but we could have at least 30-40 years together still. Our child is made out of love - Please – I cannot stand the thought of living without you - Will you be my wife?” His eyes almost held no hope. He was prepared for the worst. She gave him a big smile when all of a sudden she felt a flutter of small bobbles in the abdomen. Her hands went straight to her stomach with great surprise and a small gasp. “What is it love? Are you in pain?” She couldn’t help but laugh a bit “No dear – your child simply just wanted to say hello – to its dad” She looked at Patrick with great love and took hold of his hand and led it to her abdomen. He too felt the little kicks of their child. “Yes Patrick, I will be your wife! We will be yours” He was over the moon - filled with gratitude and happiness. He kissed her like she had never been kissed before, with fierce and deep felt love. He put on the gold ring. She was his – finally.
A new life could begin.
Sister Julienne carried her new engagement ring in a long necklace underneath her uniform. She had called mother Jesu Emanuel at the motherhouse and informed her of her situation. She was very displeased and wanted Sister Julienne to give it at good think. But Julienne didn’t feel time was on her side, since she was beginning to show rather much. So they agreed Sister Julienne would leave Nonnatus after Christmas and new year… Hopefully Julienne wouldn’t be showing too much by then being almost 6 months along.
Christmas came and as usually it was a busy time of year. Not only with a lot of deliveries but also a lot of preparations for the holiday and advent prayers. Fortunately Sister Julienne had Sister Evangelina and Sister Monica Joan by her side making sure she didn’t take on too much work. They hadn’t told any of the other sisters or nurses of Juliennes situation. All they knew was that Sister Julienne was leaving the day after New Years Eve and that she was retiring to Chichester. A pregnant nun could not be approved but Sister Juliennes work could not be spared at this time of year. It was getting more and more difficult for Julienne to conceal her pregnancy. The apron of her habit did a good job hiding her secret. But today was a special day of prayer and faste – not eating until late night. These rules didn’t imply for pregnant women, but there was no such thing as a pregnant nun – in theory. Julienne was out on a house call. Sister Evangelina was assisting her. They had been on duty for more than 12 hours without food and Julienne – being close to 6 months pregnant - was beginning to feel the effect of lack of food.. She was a bit dizzy..Sister Evangelina gave her some marie biscuits to keep her blood sugar up and told her to sit down and rest. Fortunately they were wearing their white habit – her secret was safe, but a little accident with one of the smaller children sent Juliennes white habit off and she had to work in her normal basic uniform, not leaving much for the imagination. The mother in labour didn’t notice much, but to Sister Evangelina it suddenly became very obvious that her fellow sister was in a family way and she felt compelled to protect her friend. Finely the baby was born and Doctor Turner came by to check mother and baby. He too noticed Juliennes obvious condition. Not only her growing stomach and other virtues, but also her apparent state of exhaustion. He took her hand while they were standing in the corner of the room attending the newborn baby. “You look terrible. You don’t get enough nourishment nor sleep. I´m worried about you” She smiled kindly at the man she loved grey circles underneath her eyes: “I must admit I’m worn out” she put her hands on her stomach where their little secreat was having a field day kicking around. Your child is quite demanding already. It´s quite hard to ignore.” “Let me give you a lift to Nonnatus. Pack you things and let Sister Evangelina stay here for a bit. I´m taking you home” He squeezed her hand a bit and she nodded her consent. Sister Evangelina nodded too, and Patrick got julienne her coat, both as a gentleman, but also to conceal the obvious.
Back at Nonnatus Sister Bernadette was preparing a cup of horlicks when Doctor Turner and Sister Julienne entered the kitchen. One look at Juliennes exhausted posture and she insisted they both sat down and served them a cup each. She did notice Julienne was missing the front apron of her habit and that she looked very much pregnant – but that couldn’t be – so she dismissed the thought. Julienne had experienced lower back pains a few times during the day and now – once again- she was crumpled in pain as one of her hands went to her side the other to her back. She couldn’t help but let out a moan as the pain spread to her abdomen. “Love, what is it?” She didn’t answer until the pain subsided. “Just a little cramp – it´s been coming and going through the day” She looked him in the eye, both of them were concerned – both of them knew the risks of her being an older gravida. “You´re going to bed now! – and I will do a short examination of you” Patrick put an arm around her waist and escorted her towards her room. “Would you like me to come with you sister?” Bernadette offered – concerned her sister being alone with a man – doctor or not. “No thank you that won’t be necessary” The words almost didn’t slip over her lips when the pain returned and her legs buckled under her and she groaned loudly “oh, oh God” Patrick supporting her ordered Bernadette to fetch Sister Evangelina and Sister Monica Joan immediately. Bernadette ran for the Sisters. Patrick lifted Julienne into his arms - one of her arms around his neck the other hand on her abdomen as she moaned and tried to control her breathing – panting. “Oh no please God!” Patrick prayed out loud. He was met by Evangelina and Monica Joan at the top of the stairs. “What is going on here?” Evangelina demanded. “Julienne is going into labor. We need to stop it. Let’s get her into bed and one of you can examine her. Or would you rather I did it?” “Oh no Sir. This wouldn’t be happening if it weren’t for you… Here, put her down” Patrick carefully eased Julienne down onto the bed. She was clutching her stomach and moaning. Patrick caressed her face and kissed her brow. “I´ll be right outside love” She nodded. Evangelina and Monica Joan helped Julienne get comfortable and Evangelina examined her. There was spot bleeding. Bed rest was mandatory from now on. Patrick gave Julienne a mild sedative and talked to Evangelina and Monica Joan in the hallway – Sister Bernadette sat down beside Julienne, taking her hand and caressing it. “Doctor she should be in a hospital!” Evangelina said. “That is not an option Sister – and you know why – a pregnant head nun - the rumor mill would have a field day. She will need complete bed rest until further notice!” They continued their debate.
Inside Juliennes room Bernadette looked at Julienne sleeping. Her eyes wandered down her stomach and abdomen. It was clear Julienne was expecting – Bernadette was compassionate but also inquiring: Why would the mentor be pregnant? Had she been attacked? How? But then she thought about it – what she had seen between Julienne and the doctor the last couple of months. It became clear to her, that this baby was a product of love. Forbidden love but love non the less.
