Today is the final. I submitted two days early, mainly because I mixed up the date of the final, but also because I thought my work was ready. It was the best of my ability, and I think I did a good job.
Looking back at all these posts I can’t help but laugh at how anxious I was through the whole process. I think this blog does more than just collect the various parts of the process, I think it shows the pressure scholars can feel to be the best. To be perfect. I think I’m going to come back to this documentation of process and just look at all it took to get just one paper done. I think I have a little more respect for scholars now. I mean, I always have, but now I really get it.
After all the little hangups and fears I had, I feel proud of myself. I wrote something in a new writing style. I had to revamp my paper several times, to the point I thought I was going to lose my cool. Out of all the challenges, though, I think the hardest part for me is putting my ideas out there. Did I do enough work? Are my thoughts on track? Will they like it? I always leave a piece with these questions tormenting me, but this time I don’t feel that afraid. Once I submitted this piece and this blog they’re both out of my hands, out for anyone to do anything with them. It’s like raising a child, I have to let them go. Let them live their own lives with or without me.
I also think it’s easier to let go of these fears because I think this class helped me feel more comfortable as a writer, and a researcher. Even though I’m not going to do heavy academic researchers throughout my entire writing career, having these skills under my belt makes me stand a little taller. That, and I will always have to do some research for my creative writing, so I’m glad I have a new process for going into that.
I’m no researcher, no scholar, but I am a writer. Research is important to make creative writing as truthful as possible, even for the most fictional worlds. I’m really thankful for this class for teaching me not only how to research better, but how to pre-search as well.
As I exit GSW 1120, I’m looking forward to my future. I’m not dreading what people will think of my writing or the ideas I have, I’m excited. I want to know how people will react to my work. I want to know how research gave my words more meaning. I’m so proud of myself and my paper. Even if it isn’t the greatest paper or even the best of my class, I’m okay with that.
I first came into this class thinking it was some “easy A”, but it wasn’t. It was so much more. It’s important for all students, not just writers, to know how to effectively communicate their thoughts and ideas, and I think this is just the place to learn.
So, thank you, GSW 1120. Thank you, Jessica Puder, for being a great instructor.
And with that, we haven’t just reached the end of the semester, but the end of this documentation of process, too. So, with as much pizazz as William Shatner’s Captain Kirk, this is Amanda Eisenmann signing off.