#dodge colt

[vintagecamping]

Magazine ad for the Dodge Colt station wagon.

1976

[dandyads]

Dodge Colt, 1983

Theme Week: Cars 🚗

Adjusted for inflation this entry-level hatchback that allegedly has room for a surfboard, pair of skis, a single golf club, an awkward fishing pole and/or a tennis racket, would cost $14,660 by current standards.

[science70]

Mitsubishi Motors Dodge Colt and Plymouth Champ advertisement, 1980.

[fuzzyghost]

[vehicleillustration]

1973 Dodge Colt 

[holyseventies]

[seat-safety-switch]

Sure, all my secrets had been posted by Wikileaks, but I remained confident that the average man on the street knew not to trust just anything they found on the internet. Then, I went to the grocery store, and the cashier asked me if I had really paid nearly three hundred dollars over KBB for a “poor” condition 1982 Dodge Colt.

“That was misrepresented,” I started to say, “it was a twin-stick. Maxed out. And I’d say more of a fair condition.” No dice. He didn’t want to hear another word; it was such an embarrassing trade, he told me, that the manager had posted a picture of me in the breakroom, telling employees to charge me double for produce because there’s no fucking way I’d ever have the sense to find out about it.

The leak had been timed perfectly to damage my professional reputation: I was only one week from the elections at the local junk-car club, where I was roundly assumed to be a lock for club president. To lose access to the executive, especially with a scandal this embarrassing, would greatly compromise my ability to get cheap speed parts in exchange for preferred treatment at club race days. Naturally, I believed that it was politically motivated, cynically launched by my enemies, and one enemy in particular: Tim “Responsible” McCreedy, chief of the good fiscal management and law-abiding cruise days coalition.

His coalition wanted to do evil things with the club membership and the awesome power held by the executive. Travelling to children’s hospitals, doing charity cruise nights, offering to do freebie car inspections and car control clinics for at-risk teen drivers: where would this psycho stop?

There are a lot of conflicting opinions about what I did that night to McCreedy’s front lawn, and his collection of vintage “Thunderbird Parking Only” signs meticulously installed throughout his immaculate suburban garage. Conjecture, all of it, but no fact. It’s almost like there had been an international group of ex-Soviet truth tellers who were willing to be paid in Estonian phone cards to cover the whole thing up.

[vehicleillustration]

1973 Dodge Colt