#doesnotbelong

[snapchatsdontdie]

[brighttypewriter]

Hey Central Austin --- let's stop building these crap houses, K? #doesnotbelong #noapparentarchitecturalstyle #Austin #midcentury

[sarahcsekey]

Church Death

Sarah died, in her fortieth year, of apparent spontaneous combustion in the Catholic Church during Palm Sunday mass. Sarah, a fairly lazy agnostic and baptized Anglican, was attending the mass dedicated to her mother-in-law's memory. Sitting in the pew between her youngest son and her sister-in-law's giant boyfriend, Sarah quietly turned into a pile of ashes after briefly resembling a ball of lightning. It is not known at this time whether this death was a result of the heat energy Sarah was generating in her effort to sit still and not roll her eyes at the priest during the two-hour mass, or whether it was a simple act of God's vengeance. Donations to the Guardian Angel's New Carpet Fund would be accepted in Sarah's memory.