my sense of self either hinges entirely on what others think of me or is comprised entirely of what i think of myself and what i think other people think of myself, which is probably why i love kink about other people dictating what you are, and why i really like the specific trope of a dom talking about their subject to someone else even in an objectifying way. especially talking about the subject as if they aren’t there or don’t understand you, right in front of said subject. there’s a kind of reassurance that whatever they say about their subject isn’t meant to appease them but truly what they think.
i like reminders that i’m something to somebody and that purpose still exists outside of our 1on1 interactions. i like reminders that i exist to ofher people. they think therefore i am.