"I am not a monster."
A Dogma fanfic
Theres too many bad things for dogma, why not take a look at things from his perspective?
Warning: Angst/Umbara Arc Mention
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I am not a monster. I am not a mindless soldier. I am a living being. And I..... I am scared.
All my life since childhood, I was taught to live, breathe, eat, sleep, work, fight, and die for the republic. If not, then I was worth nothing. I would be seen defective and thrown away. I would obey all the rules, listen to my captain, commander, general, whoever was above my rank, I would listen. I didnt want to show weakness to them, I wanted to show them just how loyal I was to the republic.
My brother, Tup, he was more relaxed than I was. Wanting to break the rules at time, but I didnt let him. I didnt want him to be deemed worthless and thrown away. I have to protect him. Protect Tup. Protect Tup from them.....
The 501st legion accepted us in with open arms, making us one of them. I wished they didn't, being under General Skywalker guidance, they where careless and constantly broke the rules. Tup wanted to join in, but I told him to remember the rules. He would listen, but he wouldn't be too happy about it. Captain Rex would tell me to loosen up and not worry, how could I not? He would go along with the General crazy plans.
Arc Trooper Fives, he was the most craziest trooper I met. Constantly bending the rules to fit his needs. He's a arc trooper for kriff sakes, how are you not dead? He's a bad influence on Tup, I do my best to make sure they dont interact much than necessary.
It seems we're being sent to Umbara, another fight with the clankers, another fight trying to stay by the book with the 501st. Tup is excited to blast some clankers, I remind him to stick close to me unless ordered by the General or the Captain, tho they both know by this point to not seperate us.
The first battles of Umbara was tiring, stressful, but it seemed that we may win this. I hope so, I want to get off this planet as soon as I can. Theres so many thing that can go wrong, but unless we go by the book, then we'll live. We'll go home...
General Skywalker was sent back to Coruscant, we're left with General Pon Krell, and he seems to go by the book, tho his casualty count.... Its too high to stomach it. But he goes by the book, he must know what's right and what's wrong. Remember, follower the highest rank.... Follow them and you'll live...
Rex and Fives are getting more and more irritated with Krell, Fives shows it more than Rex tho. They're so used to bending the rules that they forget how things go by the book. Heh. Finally, things may be going better than I expected.
Fives, Hardcase, and Jesse took one of the Umbarans ship, I know they did. "Tup where are they... We have to tell the general." We get up but rex is in our way. I knew it... He would cover for him.
......... I knew what would happen, they disobeyed orders and now they're going to be executed by firing squad. I have to make sure my brothers do it, I have to make sure they're not in the same position as him...... What....? They missed...?
We have intell that the Umbarans have our armor and is disguising themselves as our brothers. Shoot anyone. Make sure to take them down, those where direct orders from Krell...... Why is Rex running in the middle of the battle field. Why is he holding an umba...... No.....
Krell lied to us, we are about to commit treason. I have to step up but... No... What if it was a mistake, our General would never put us in harm way. I have to run from this squadron and stop rex myself.
..... I couldnt do it.....
General Krell just admitted to using us. Using me. Using my loyalty against me. How could he. I did everything he asked of me, I went against my brother to stay loyal. Why. Why. ... WHY.
.... The smell of smoke went in my nose, I realized what I've done. I killed the general. I didnt have orders or permissions. I went.... Against the book...
Reinforcements came, but I was taken away, probably to be court martialed. I'm sorry Tup. I'm sorry I didnt protect you. I'm not a monster. Please dont think I'm a monster Vod'ika... I wanted to live... I wanted to protect you...
I'm not a monster.... Im scared.....