Like a lot of people of my generation in the US, I grew up eating a lot of fast food. My mother wasn't much of a cook & worked a lot and my father struggled with being over 400 pounds for as far back as I can remember. I never spent time in the kitchen, never had family recipes passed down to me, and I did not have a healthy relationship with food. I went on my first of many fad diets when I was in the 3rd grade. Around the time I started college I adapted a vegan lifestyle which, at the time, was for strictly ethical reasons. Don't get it twisted: simply avoiding animal products does not a healthy person make. I traded one unhealthy relationship for another. I really didn't care, though, it was just...the way things were. I struggled with self-esteem all throughout my childhood, resulting in taking several over the counter diet pills at 13. What I'm writing about here isn't about being fat or being skinny or having one be more "pretty" than the other. It's about being healthy and taking charge of my body and not allowing myself to be a slave of, well, shit on a plate.
I've never been candid or honest about this situation with anyone besides maybe my parents and I think that's why it's been a lifelong struggle. I'm still feeling embarrassed and ashamed as I type this, but I believe total transparency is the best option here. A real turning point for me was becoming a mother. I realized that I did not want to pass this burden onto my children. The way I treated my body caused me very serious complications in both of my pregnancies that resulted in my being on bed rest and barely able to walk at the risk of going into labor too early (which is potentially fatal to the fetus). My blood pressure got so out of control that it didn't allow me to have the rad, natural birth I wanted with my second child like I had with my first. It was a reality check.
Upon deciding enough is enough, I eliminated processed foods and adapted a plant based, whole foods diet. My guidelines are:
I started this journal to help me catalog and share how I am progressing not just in weight loss, but overall physical and mental health. I plan on sharing my favorite recipes, skills I'm learning from friends in the fitness industry, anecdotes and other little tidbits. For the first time in a long time, I feel like this is for good and I'm actually happy about it. I'm happy to come home and make food for me and my family. But really, I hope that this could possibly help someone like me.