#domthoughts

[wow-imaswitch]

I just want a cute boy impaled on my dick sitting in my lap with his other holes filled. He can just stay there and cockwarm me until I am ready to use him again.

[kinkemagazine]

Over the moon to have Master Wolfgang contributing to #kinkemagazine with his new #DomThoughts launching his new #article today Where Did the Tradition of an Eagle Pin on Leatherman Caps Come From? https://www.kinkemag.com/single-post/2019/06/20/Where-Did-the-Tradition-of-an-Eagle-Pin-on-Leatherman-Caps-Come-From #education #leatherman #gay #history #eaglecap https://www.instagram.com/p/By-itPdAjSwp-9Dov7xYepQz0gFPRWWYLXl0ew0/?igshid=qunqbadt7s10

[msdom]

I'm on academic probation.  I wish I wasn't, but I am, and the point is, I might be kicked out of school at this rate.  I thought I had my anxiety under control, but apparently I don't, and it's starting to eat me up.  Some good things have happened this semester, but so have some bad things.  I've failed quite a bit in my attempts at actually doing something with my life, which is just sending me into a downward spiral faster and faster.  I hate the thought that I'm not good enough, that I can't make myself be good enough to ever be anything better than a fanfiction writer and a rather average call center employee.  The thought that I have to face my family and tell them, yes, your daughter is so pathetic at getting motivated she can't even make herself answer quiz questions that she doesn't even have to leave the house to do- it just kills me.  Maybe this is just a bad streak, but I feel like such a failure, and even though I'm trying I can't get myself to actually do anything.  And when I do manage to do things, I fail at them.  I can't write well, I'm only middling at my job, I have panic attacks when I even try to roll forwards in class, I can't make myself do my German homework.  I can't make myself be interested in anything anymore and it's horrible and painful and makes me want to hide away in dark corners and never talk to people.  I feel like such a waste of space and it seems like the only bright spot is that one of my friends is finally on medication that makes it so she's actually able to handle herself.  

And that's all.  

I'm just so tired.

[msdom]

Thoughts

I have two subs.  Neither of them live near me.  The closest is in Texas, the other, the Netherlands.

Things are a little strange in my life, and accommodating the two people I've grown to care so deeply for is sometimes not the easiest. I didn't start out intending to make myself redefine how I need to view collaring, to start with.

The thing is, I'm a switch. Sometimes I'm a Dom, sometimes I'm a sub. That's just how it goes. Every fiber of me aches for that sign of ownership, though. I've craved collars from the time I was little, constantly wearing tight chokers and carrying around the chain leash I found hiding out in the sagebrush so I could run my fingers over the links and thinking longingly of having something like that around my neck. Belonging is something I desperately need, and knowing that I Dom to serve my subs satisfies both sides.

The simple truth is that I don't do sexual play with my subs. I draw the line there. I only emotionally Dom, as it's been called. I give them simple orders to help them fight off the darkness, take away the pressure for an hour or two. I'm not a 24/7 demand that they duck their heads, far from it. I have a shameless praise kink, and lavish the attention they need on them. I've watched two sweethearts blossom back up despite some major setbacks in their lives, and it helps me so much so see them healthier.

Which is why I'm getting collared.

"But that's not traditional!"

Believe me, I am quite aware of how nontraditional it is. But I belong to them just as much as they belong to me, and as one of them said, I deserve good reminders as well as they do. The few people I've talked to about this have been startled and rather disapproving, but it's something I fully intend to go through with. I Dom in order to make people feel better, in order to serve them.

I'm not getting collared tomorrow, or even next week. But it is an event that will happen, and relatively soon in the grand scheme of things.

And breaking tradition this way just doesn't feel wrong.

[msdom]

Hey, just wanted to let you all know that I am still around.  I just don't hear from much of anybody these days, so this blog is kind of languishing.

So, y'know, you're always welcome question wise.

[msdom]

My subs are so good to me, and so very, very strong.

[msdom]

Being a Dom is a balancing act.  You have to find a place between control and freedom, abuse and help.  You have to know when that line will waver and crumble, and how to step away.

And when all you can feel is intense disapproval and frustration towards a person, it's a safe bet that you should step away from them until you're cooled down.

So that's what I'm doing.  I don't want to, but I need to, because I'm well aware that if I'm not careful I could push over the lines and cause irreparable damage.  And so it goes.

Boats in the current and all that.

[msdom]

One of my subs decided she didn't want to work with me anymore today.  The emotions accompanying me letting her go have been interesting, if brutal.