I'm sitting on a road in the warm orange light of a street lamp. My enviroment all around me is dark like the deepest night. Sometimes I see smal lights in a distance, but they're far far away.
If I wanted to reach them I would have to leave the light of the street lamp, but this illuminated place is the only thing I know. So I don't want to reach the lights. I stay here.
Sometimes I see a flickering relatively near me in the dark. I get curious and come closer to see it. Only until the end of the light. So I sit down there and watch the flickering from a distance, spend hours with dreaming.
I'm getting sad.
Why it has to be out there in the dark, I want it here.
I'm getting angry at myself.
Why I can't just go over there?
I blame myself for being a wimp, I'm getting stressed. I calm myself by reminding me, that I can't walk away anyway. There is a fetter around my right foot with a chain on it. But jokes on me, the chain is long enough and the other end ... is attached to a weak branch.
So why I don't start walking?
Haven't I noticed the circumstances of the chain?
Have I fear to fall into a abyss that I can't see in the dark?
My curiosity gets wings due to my dreams.
I want it.
I don't know what's outthere in the dark.
I don't want it.
This two things burn inside me: fear and desire, but the incinerations from their fight keep shredding my mind.
Either I wait til the burning inflames my whole body and I use the light of my own panic to go through the dark,
or I shorten the chain and and tie it strong on the street lamp.