#doordasher

[aprilfoolfrog]

Zero Offers

These last two days have been

over nintety degrees.

I attempted to dash yesterday.

My seats are carpeted

and the ac is busted.

I had all of the windows opened.

The air was hot and thick.

My hair stuck to my face instantly.

I booted up doordash.

The weather was miserable

but I still needed to make money.

I waited patiently.

Thirty minutes went by.

No offers came in.

My gas gage slowly declined.

An hour went by.

I continued to drive.

No offers came in.

An hour and a half went by.

No offers for I.

Gas gage on empty.

No money in my pockets;

none in my bank account.

I shut the car off and waited.

Two hours went by.

Cooked was I.

Panic crept into my chest.

Another text for help,

sent to mom and dad.

She instantly sent the money.

I thanked her profusely

and ended my dash.

No orders at all,

I finally got gas.

No prophet,

yet a lengthy dash.

Written by AprilFool 🐸

6/11/26

___________________

Hello all! Check out my newest vlog on youtube if you like! The link is below. I talk about not getting any delivery offers, along with some other things I'll post soon in a poem! Thank you all for being here and for being you. I hope that you all had a wonderful day; I love you all.

[put-me-down-please]

The fucking doordashers on reddit think that me saying 'treat employees with respect when you go into the restraunt to pick up the food because in person customers often take priority when we're busy' means I'm saying 'fuck you and your life and I hate you.'

Doordashers. Sometimes. It's okay to wait a little bit. I get it it's frustrating. But Jesus. Don't berate the 20 year old behind the counter because we're 40 orders behind at 2 am getting berated by drunk people.

[disappointingcabbage]

What if Michael Distortion took up a side job as a (literal) doordasher? Like imagine if you ordered food you’d hear a door creak open 20 minutes later, get hit in the face by the food he yote at you (somehow the pizza toppings are between the sauce and the cheese rather than on top) and then see the yellow door slam shut with an echo of laughter and then disappear. Also the container the food is in definitely has holes in it from his knife hands. I just think it would be funny and give him more opportunities to be a silly little guy. He gives you the wrong order completely but it supernaturally changes the right one just as you dial the number to complain about it.

[chatdomestique]

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but Doordash, Instacart, and similar services are disability services, and if you choose (because it is a choice) to become a delivery driver, you are expected to accommodate for a wide variety a needs, which (and I can’t believe I have to say this) includes entering apartment buildings and walking up stairs.

The customer is not obligated to accommodate you; you are obligated to accommodate them.

[m34t6rndr]

Hey, if you use Doordash at all, please give your driver a review, ratings are SO important, especially if that person has just started working. One bad review can really tank things and a lot of people give bad reviews about things the driver cannot prevent (missing items, getting stuck in traffic, wrong items, etc) or hell even if they don't like how the person looks!

A lot of people who work doordash are queer or disabled in some way and that's the only job they can work! Doordash's flexible hours and instant pay make it a really good job for someone who struggles to maintain a typical 9-5. So it really helps when you give them a positive rating.

These people take a lot of time to deliver your food, please take a couple minutes out of your day to give them a review.

[ansy1984]

DoorDasher joins Trump for impromptu White House press event after delivering McDonald's

Washington — In a televised moment Monday, President Trump welcomed DoorDash delivery driver Sharon Simmons to the White House and they both spoke to the media as she dropped off a food order from McDonald’s.  The president invited Simmons to talk to the press about tax breaks on tips, but also put her on the spot with questions about whom she voted for and whether she thinks “men should play in…

DoorDasher joins Trump for impromptu White House press event after delivering McDonald's

[chatdomestique]

I don’t blame servers for hating dashers. There are a lot of shitty dashers who have done their damnedest to ruin it for the rest of us. But it’s also really stressful for me to go pick up from someplace where I’m not a regular, and they immediately look down on me like I’m the scum of the earth for simply doing my job. I try so hard to come off as friendly and polite too, but it doesn’t matter because I already committed the grave sin of being a delivery driver. The RSD doesn’t help either.