I like to see myself from far away
I like myself better that way
I love better that way
I find it easier to breathe when I take myself out of my body
I couldn’t be that hard to love
Somehow I talk too much
When Ive spent my life sewing my lips shut
If I never did that where would I be?
How the pain floods on days with no clouds in the sky
One day will it just be me
I live in my fantasy so often that i started to believe I could find what was missing
Was it you ?
I won’t die trying to find it
But I just wish I could taste it
Buy it at the grocery store
Find it on the floor of a train or
Inside the next egg I crack
I still check to see if my heart is still beating,
If my veins are still pulsing
If I could feel how I feel when I’m underwater holding my breath
Looking at how the light comes under like beams from a stolen star trying to find her home
I’d freeze myself there for the ocean to keep me
Call to you in my sleep
Tell me you hear me
Tell me you feel me still
I don’t want you because I’m tired of hurting
But I want you because I’m hurting
Sometimes I think there is no end to the bleeding
My feet are moving, I just need to feel
Throwing my thoughts into the abyss never hurt
I’m a hopeless romantic incapable of loving and being loved properly
Wrap my heart in pretty paper secured with a bow
Gift it to myself on Christmas
Maybe she just needs sometime outside my body too
