DOYH CHAPTER 16
Raghav's POV
"Why do I care? Why do I care!? Raghav the competition is in two days. "
The competition was the last thing on his mind.
He had an injured wrist, his head was discombobulated after painkillers he gulped before his nap, and he was pretty sure his mother hadn't stopped freaking out downstairs since the moment he showed up bruised and beaten up. But the only thing that was going in his head was the look on Ranveer's face while talking to his girlfriend. Here he was, with his heart trampled to ground by the guy standing in front of him, chest aching with the throb far worse than that in his wrist, but of course it's the competition, it's always the fucking competition with him.
"Did I do something to you?" Ranveer asked, "What the hell happened, Raghav? How are we going to fix this?"
Should he make him a list? He was pretty sure it would be bigger than the one Ayush was threatening to make.
He wondered what would happen once the competition was over. Before the shitstorm that was today, he was pretty sure they'd remain friends. Now, not so much.
He wondered how they'd drift apart, slowly, like a loose thread coming undone, or swiftly, like a piece of cloth ripped apart forcefully. He wondered which would hurt him the most. Ranveer, slowly getting back in his shell, making excuses, making plans and excluding him, or Ranveer, ditching him from day one after competition, dodging his texts and calls.
His chest hurt from just imagining it.
A stab of pain in his wrist brought him back to reality. And it hurt more than his imagination because Ranveer was sitting on his bed, mere inches away from him, with his wrist cradled in his hand.
"Tell me what happened." He demanded, as if he wasn't the reason behind all of his pain recently.
"Yeah, well, you would have known if you weren't so busy with your girlfriend." He regretted the words just as they came out of his mouth. Shit, what was he doing?
He sighed, shaking his head and gingerly taking his wrist out of Ranveer's loose hold, backing against the headboard. He made to rub his face, only to hiss at the pain lacing his wrist with an ugly bow.
"Konsi girlfriend, dude? Me single hu." Ranveer's shocked voice echoed in the space between them.
What? Then who was the girl in the cafe? He was pretty sure they used to be in a relationship.
They could just be exes catching up, a rational voice his head supplied. Doesn't mean the feelings aren't there, he said back, his mind going to the look on his face when he listened to his ex ranting.
Raghav wanted to smack himself out of this sorry mental state. This is what happens when he becomes jealous. This is why falling for Ranveer was a bad idea. His emotions get out of hand, and it's not a pretty sight when everything is said and done.
"I'm sorry. It has nothing to do with you." He wondered if he should tell him what happened, but after the way he acted like a jealous mistress, he deserves to know what happened. "It's Ayush."
Ranveer frowned, "That guy who was selected when I left?" He nodded his head, and Ranveer looked at his wrist, gently stroking the injured area. "He did this to you?"
A self-deprecating laugh slipped out when he thought about it. "No. I tried punching him in his gut, but something must've been off with my aim because I ended up being more injured." He dangled his hand in front of him, "For once in my life, I fought back, and I couldn't even say 'you should've seen the other guy'."
***
Ranveer's POV
Raghav was laughing, but his mind had descended into a quiet calm. There was a sound ringing through his head and it was as if he stepped behind a wall that muffled the sounds around him.
He wanted to know what happened between them for Raghav to let go of the caution and fight back, competition be damned. But Raghav's mother came upstairs with food and medicines for Raghav and chai for him. Ranveer kept quiet when Raghav's mother fussed over him, asking him questions and smacking his head every tenth second.
The only thing that kept Ranveer from busting Ayush's face was the competition. He wasn't about to sabotage themselves to beat up that asshole, but he will make him regret ever knowing Raghav once he was done with him. He will make sure of that.
He was sitting still, not because he wanted to, but because he was struck paralyzed with the intensity of the emotions he was reeling through. He was worried about how this will affect their chances in the competition, but it wasn't just that.
He took in Raghav, with his hair mussed and clothes rumpled from sleep, his ever reddened cheeks, eyes crinkled from wincing constantly as his mother looked after his injury.
Ever since meeting him, Ranveer has been riding this emotional rollercoaster he wasn't sure he'd ever get off of. He remembered being scared shitless on the phone on the day he told him about his father, he remembered the knee buckling relief after letting himself open and knowing his secrets won't ever be abused. He realised feeling protective over him comes as naturally as feeling protective over his sister.
But it isn't the brotherly affection he felt for Raghav, he slowly realised with mounting alarm.
No, with the amount of times he had caught himself looking at Raghav's lip, the soft curve of his cheek, with the way he holds onto Raghav's waist longer than he should whenever the occasion calls for it during their routine, his reluctance to go home after practice, slight shivers whenever he brushes up against him, no. It isn't brotherly affection at all.
It left him stunned. It left him slack jawed. It left him questioning his fucking sexuality.
***
After Raghav's mother left, they tried brainstorming on how to replace the backflip with another step which would just be as cool, but none of them were able to think of anything. Raghav was loopy on meds, and Ranveer was..
Ranveer wasn't sure who he was anymore.
He only had one relationship with a girl who turned out to be lesbian. She said she had her doubts before, she said the only reason she dated him was because it was easy with him. And he agreed with her, it was the same for him. She was kind, charming and easy to talk to, and not even once did he feel the anticipating nervousness with her. Not the kind when he felt that day in the studio, holding Raghav's hand, making promises.
Other than the one with Shrishti, there was no other relationship to contemplate on. And his crushes…
Wait. His crushes. He couldn't remember crushing on any female character from his childhood, but he does remember Rohan Singh and Kris, how he'd fixate on them and only them whenever he turned on the show, and that alone says so much about his sexuality, he felt dumb not realising this before.
He was gay.
"You know," Raghav started, shocking him out of his moment, "the whole broody thing," he made wide circling gestures by his hand while being sprawled on his bed, "it might be working wonders with the ladies, but you're a lot more fun without it."
"Yeah, well, I can't help it when my partner goes and insults both of us after making a piss poor attempt at throwing a punch," He said dryly, which reminds him, "seriously, aesa kya bol diya tha usne jiski wajah se tune use mara?"
"Nothing," He stretched and sighed, "he was just being his homophobic self."
He stopped breathing.
"What do you mean?" He asked slowly, as if speaking any faster might spook him and shut himself in.
But medicines made his tongue loose. He was moving and adjusting, trying to find the perfect position to sleep in, "The fucker had made my life a living hell ever since he found out about me and outed me in front of everyone. I'd say it's because his parents never loved him, he turned out to be this way, but I know for a fact that it isn't true because his twin is one of the most wonderful person I know." His words became slurred towards the end of his sentence. He found the perfect position and curled inward, into himself.
"You're not straight?" He whispered, but there was no reply. Raghav was asleep.
How come he had no idea about this? How can something like this slip from Raghav's mind? He said he was outed in front of everybody, so people must know about his sexuality, right? Why didn't he tell him?? It might not have been a long time since they've known each other, but he thought they were close.
Maybe because he was forced out of the closet, he doesn't like to talk about it. And maybe he doesn't consider Ranveer as close as he did.
And that hurt. Alot.
He brushed it aside. And wondered what he's supposed to do with this new information. And what can he do? He's gay, Raghav might also be gay, or atleast into guys. So what. That doesn't mean they're into each other. They're just close friends, or at least that's what Ranveer thought they were, but after tonight, he wasn't sure if they were even that anymore.