Imagine gettin dipped & kissed
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Imagine gettin dipped & kissed
Image from BerreGall on Pinterest
Okay okay
I know peepl like sexy jokes so I was thinkin of this one time when I was wachin Dr Sally on tv
and she was talking bout some stuff I can't tell you right now but ....
Ummmmmmmmmmmmm so I made a thing
Sexual problems with Dr. Sally
Sumary: An alternate version of Murray Franklin's interview.
Rated: T
"Now let's introduce the next guest .."
"Does he also have sexual problems?"
"Oh yes! And many others too!"
Murray gestures with one of his hands to get the attention of the attendees. As a circus director, everyone on stage is watching him.
Arthur could not have faced an audience that is there to make fun of him. He could not have tolerated Murray's condescending gaze, the hurtful comments.
Arthur takes the stage with a confidence he has never felt, nor will he feel. Because who introduces himself dancing and doing tricks is not him but another. The other who lives under his skin and can face these situations.
"Let's welcome Joker!"
He kisses Dr. Sally as soon as he reaches the sector that serves as a living room to simulate an illusory intimacy. She protests weakly but lets herself be done, visibly shocked at the effusive greeting of the new guest.
He smiles pleased with himself. His entry has not been irrelevant.
"Well, Joker, if that's how you want us to call you, have you been working on your material?"
Murray is sitting on his left. He is relaxed, his body seems to occupy as much space as possible. The boss. The king of the place.
"Actually Murray, I have a problem for Dr. Sally."
"Oh?" Murray raises an eyebrow exchanging a quick glance with his colleague.
"Oh yes, well you know that the health system in Gotham is not the most accessible. It's hard to talk to a doctor .."
From the periphery he can see that the producer makes signals but Murray has always done what he pleases with his program. Joker has counted on that.
"Well, very good."
Murray makes a sign with his hand. A magnanimous king. Dr. Sally reaffirms herself in her chair attentive to his question.
"Dr. Sally, as Murray said before introducing me, I have a sexual problem."
The howl of the public is instantaneous. He knows that these people react to the words on the signs.
"Oh well." Sally moves restlessly on the couch. Her discomfort becoming noticeable.
"I don't think this is the best place for .."
"Oh but doctor!" He interrupts her using a voice that looks too much like a plea "I won't have a chance to talk to another doctor in a long time and this is very important to me!"
Sally exchanges another look with Murray who nods slightly. He has captured the attention of the public. The numbers are going up. What does it matter if the guest is humiliated in the process?
"My problem.."
Joker lets pass a few seconds. Suspense. His tongue slowly passes over his lips.
"My problem is that I'm always hot."
The howls of the public resonate again in the studio. Some whistles and sporadic applause. Arthur would never understand the scandal that people made when they referred to sexual issues. Joker instead ..
"Well, that's normal for a man your age. Tell me, do you have any girlfriend?"
It is evident that this is not the direction that interviews usually take. Despite that, Dr. Sally tries to hide her discomfort behind a rationality screen.
"Oh no. I don't have any girlfriend. Actually .."
He tilts his head to the side, running a hand through his hair.
"I would really like to have a boyfriend .."
Squeals and howls disapproving. The occasional "Fagot" is heard over the screaming. Murray decides to intervene.
"Oh no, no, no!"
He makes a calm gesture with his hands.
"In this program we do not judge the sexual preference of our guests!"
He says it seriously, staring at the camera. It would have been easy to take his words for truth if it weren't for the fact that everything that happens there is scripted. The reaction of the people. The politically correct position of Murray. Everything happens as if there was no subject holding a sign in front of the public.
Joker smiles at the Machiavellian display.
In that society the spectators of the program would react in the same way as the people in the studio. Repudiation, disgust, rejection. But at the same time, they would admire the tolerance of the presenter.
"In fact, Murray ..."
His gaze seeks Murray's.
"I would like to have a boyfriend like you."
Obviously, this takes Murray by surprise, but he quickly recovers. Vanity seems to overcome displeasure.
"Like me?" The tone is condescending, Murray looks at the camera winking, convinced of his own appeal.
"I think I'm a little older for you, son."
At another time, Arthur would have given anything for Murray Franklin to use that word with him. Even if it was just a way of saying, feeling his child would have opened a light of happiness in his life. At another time.
Now..
"Do you think so? I think it would be nice to be with someone like you. An adult man who can take care of me and protect me. That can defend me in front of a crowd like you have."
Murray moves in the chair. Something in his words is taking effect.
"Well, that won't happen .."
"And why not? I thought you didn't judge people by their sexual preferences."
Murray is uncomfortable. He knows that he has put himself in an awkward position but cannot openly reject him because that would mean the opposite of his supposed posture of goodness and tolerance.
"You should give me a chance. I would be a good boy for you Muraaay." He extends the vowel of his name as he blinks rapidly.
"Well, I .."
An expectant silence settles in the studio. It is clear that there is a sadistic interest in seeing how the presenter, who always has a way out for everything, seems to have run out of answers. Joker enjoys it as much as he can until ..
"I'm just kidding! This is part of my material." A shrill laugh accompanies his words.
For a second no one seems to understand until, suddenly, the guy who is sitting next to Dr. Sally, brings his hand to his mouth to contain a laugh. Soon, everyone is laughing, leaving behind the tense episode.
He is leaving the studio, his hands busy trying to light a cigarette, when a voice stops him.
"You really gave that idiot a taste of his own medicine. They'll probably invite you again."
For a moment, he has trouble recognizing her even though minutes ago he has been sitting next to her. Dr. Sally, dressed in street clothes and smoking in the alley, looks like a different person. She notices his gaze.
"Oh yes, I'm not supposed to smoke, being a doctor and all that ..." She throws the ash aside.
"But putting up with this shit every week doesn't leave me with many options."
Joker raises an eyebrow. There is nothing of the dignified and conservative lady who has known through the program over time. Evidently, she also simulated a character.
"Oh, and by the way .."
Sally finishes her cigarette, discards it and steps on it. She stands by his side. He is much taller than her but somehow that doesn't seem to matter. Sally places a hand on his chest making a sign to approach. He hunches over until his face is almost the same height as hers.
"Next time you want to kiss me .." she whispers conspiratorially.
"You better take me to dinner before .."
She pats him before walking away. Joker smiles halfway. He takes her hand making an extravagant bow.
"Take it for granted."
Life was still a comedy.
End