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[izayabot]

Characters: Izaya & Shizuo

Word Count: 643

Notes: TG/DRRR Crossover, in which Izaya takes the place of Kaneki as a human-turned-ghoul.

Ghoul!Izaya was mentioned earlier tonight, and I'd been planning on writing that eventually anyways but I guess that hurried it along, haha. This is more of a setup to do more with this AU than anything, I suppose.

The rock flies far further than he'd expected it to, and he blinks several times as he remembers that oh, right, I'm not the same any longer. And perhaps that's why he's so out of it tonight, maybe that's why he's ended up wandering the roads during the dark hours. Because ever since that accident (since that surgery), he hasn't quite been himself, hasn't been normal. 

He'd only just today finally admitted it to himself, admitted what was wrong with him, what was going on and why he was behaving so strangely. It still didn't make any sense to him (and he was sure it wouldn't make sense to anyone), because who had ever heard of a human transitioning into a ghoul before? He certainly hadn't, but here he was, living proof that it was somehow possible.

Ghouls. He grimaces even thinking the word. They were creatures that preyed on humans, that killed and devoured his kind. They couldn't eat any sort of normal food, and after days and days of trying and failing to eat, after starting to look at other people and muse over how delicious they looked, everything had finally clicked into place for him. 

The accident he'd gotten himself into hadn't been anything out of the ordinary (and calling it an "accident" was a bit of a stretch), and sure, he'd seen one of the shadier doctors in town (because who else would treat him without asking questions?), but for something like this to happen? This wasn't anything even he could have ever foreseen.

He's snapped out of his thoughts as he hears a clatter behind him, and he finds himself dodging out of the way of a trash can before he even realises what he's doing. He blinks several times, slowly turning around to be greeted by none other than Shizuo. "Izaya..!" Shizuo drags his name out just like he always does when he's angry (and when is he ever anything else?), cracking his knuckles as he speaks.

"...Now really isn't a good time, Shizu-chan." he comments, frowning slightly. "Things are going to get more than a little dangerous if you stick around here for too long." Shizuo doesn't take the warning seriously at all, advancing towards him at a frightening speed despite his repeated protests. "Shizu, you really shouldn--"

He doesn't even realise that he was the cause at first, as Shizuo abruptly drops to the ground, both legs shot out from underneath him. It isn't until he sees the flash of red, until he looks to see that he's sprouted what looks like lethal wings out of his shoulder blades that he understands what just happened. Kagune. He'd heard of them, of course, but never actually seen one (and weren't they activated at will? how had he just manifested one like that?).

His attention doesn't stay on his newly-discovered weapon for long, the scent of blood drawing his interest towards a now-wounded Shizuo (and it smells so good to him now, the scent of blood made him ravenous). "...I warned you, Shizu-chan." he mumbles, trying to push the thought of what he's about to do to the back of his mind, trying his best not to think about it. "Sorry, but... I'm hungry."

[izayabot]

kurokida snake kuro burrowing himself in kidas hoodie in the fall/winter

Kida jumps slightly when he feels arms wrap around him from behind, when a face nuzzles into his hair. "I'm cold, Kida." He relaxes when he realises it's just Kuroha (and really, who else would it have been? He just couldn't seem to get used to the sudden displays of affection). "Fix it.""...I don't really know what you expect me to do about it." he mumbles in response. "It's gonna start getting cold out. You should start dressing warmly." He gestures at Kuroha's clothes, light and full of useless holes. "...I can certainly think of a few things you could do." If Kuroha's tone of voice was any indication, he wasn't thinking anything pure. "W-We're in public..!" Kida argues, shaking his head. "Wait 'till we get home.""But I'm cold now." Kuroha grumbles. "...Fine. I'll compromise." "Compro--?!" He doesn't get a chance to question what the other means before suddenly Kuroha isn't standing behind him any longer. No, suddenly he was left with a huge snake curled around him, the creature burrowing into his hoodie and wrapping itself around his torso. "You can't just do that..!" He only receives a hiss in response. He gives up arguing, picking up his pace and hurrying home so he can coerce one massive snake to get out of his jacket.

[izayabot]

Izaya+Fever+Kida

He notices that something is off the instant he steps into the apartment, slowly glancing around as a vague sense of unease settles over him. "...Izaya..?" he calls out, closing the door behind him and setting his bag down at the door. (This is odd... He's usually waiting for me as soon as I step in, like he always somehow knows exactly when I get here.) "Hey, are you..?" He trails off mid-sentence, his gaze drawn to a figure sprawled out on the couch.

"...What are you doing?" he asks, approaching Izaya. The other man doesn't make any sort of gesture to indicate he even realises Kida is there, and upon closer inspection, Kida realises that he's asleep. (That's even weirder. He's anything but a heavy sleeper.) He stares down at Izaya for a few moments, noting the flush of colour on the informant's face and wondering to himself what's going on here. He isn't left wondering for long, as Izaya's eyes finally open, blinking blearily.

"...Kida..?" Izaya questions, slowly attempting to sit up before deciding halfway through the action that it wasn't worth the effort. "Nnn. What are you doing here..?"

"...I told you I'd be over today." he answers. "What are you doing, though? Are you..?" He reaches one hand out, feeling Izaya's forehead and realising that the man's temperature was dangerously high. "...Geez, Izaya. You need to go see a doctor or something, don't just lay around here."

"I'm fine." Izaya insists. "Just need some rest."

"You aren't fine." He argues, grabbing Izaya's hand and attempting to drag him off the couch. "You're burning up! You seriously need to--?!" He's taken by surprise when Izaya pulls his hand instead, causing him to tumble onto the couch on top of him. He's even more surprised when Izaya's arms wrap around him, holding him in place while the other readjusts himself. "I-Iza...ya..?"

"Shush." Izaya mutters, closing his eyes once more. "...I just need rest. Now be quiet." He finally quiets down, amazed at just how quickly Izaya manages to fall back asleep. He lets out a sigh, deciding he may as well remain where he is. After all, it wasn't every day that Izaya (delirious with fever or not) willingly decided to show him affection.

[izayabot]

Kuroha angrily making out with Izaya while Izaya lets him do whatever he wants but the moment Kuro tries something Izaya doesn't like kicks him down until Kuroha is lying on the ground and in pain and absolutely furious

((I didn't quite end up following the prompt, but it's Iza/Kuro still, at least))"...You aren't very good at this, you know." Izaya mumbles, glancing at Kuroha. "This whole "making people miserable" thing." He grins when the snake glares at him in response, unable to suppress a laugh when Kuroha lets out a growl. "I've started an endless cycle of killing." Kuroha states. "I kill them over and over and over again. But please, tell me how you could possibly outdo that." The look Kuroha gives him only causes him to laugh once more, his grin widening. "Easy." He shrugs, sauntering towards the snake and taking a seat in the other's lap. "You give them something they want..." His lips press against Kuroha's, fingers reaching up to tangle themselves in dark hair as Kuroha slowly starts to reciprocate. Kuroha's kisses are too rough, too demanding, and exactly what he'd been expecting. His hands leave the other's hair to wander up underneath Kuroha's shirt, roaming over bare skin. His fingers glide across the other's chest, stopping briefly to tease at each nipple (and yet another laugh leaves him when Kuroha moans at his touch), before starting to dip lower and lower. "You give them something they really want..." he breathes, fingers trailing across the waistline of Kuroha's pants. "...And then you take it away." He stands up abruptly, quickly dancing away from the snake and grinning at the other's initial surprise (that soon turns to indignation). "And then you just keep doing it. Over and over again until they break into pretty little pieces." Kuroha blinks several times, and he can practically see the instant the snake realises what he's just been taught. "You see..? Why kill when you can prolong their suffering?" Another grin. "Don't worry... I'm sure I have a lot to teach you."

[izayabot]

Ok but Izaya making snakeshifter Kuro go into snake form and keeping him in a small tank so he can't shift back Izaya teasing snake Kuro and laughing at him every day

Kida comes to Izaya's apartment and goes "what the shit", Izaya just "that's my new pet, do you like it?" and Kida goes "well it looks kinda cute I guess?" Kuroha repeatedly bangs his head against the glass in Kida's direction he wants to kill Izaya

Some days ago now Izaya had been introduced to what was probably the most terrifying individual he'd ever met, a being that claimed to be a snake possessing a human body. "Kuroha" the creature had called himself. According to the story he'd been told, Kuroha was responsible for a series of time loops in another city, slaughtering a group of children over and over again to further his own goals.

He frowns slightly, thinking back to the manic grin that had graced the snake's face as Kuroha had described the events to him. The laughter that had accompanied his tale had been far from comforting, either. In fact, there wasn't a single thing about Kuroha that didn't scream "danger" to him; and he definitely wasn't the sort of person Izaya wanted to be running around Ikebukuro. So he had to deal with the guy somehow, right?

He's pulled out of his thoughts as Kida pushes open the door to his apartment, letting himself in and flopping over on the couch as per usual. The boy freezes for a moment, staring over at the new, massive tank that now took up a good portion of Izaya's living space. "...What is that?" Kida asks, nodding towards it.

"...My new pet." he answers, and he can't help the smile that creeps across his visage. "It's cute, isn't it?" He raps against the surface of the tank, drawing the attention of a massive black snake. A snake with glowing red eyes that looked ready to kill. "I call him 'Kuroha'. 'Kuro-chan' for short." The snake bares its fangs at that remark, slamming itself up against the tank's wall in an attempt to get at him.

"...Cute." Kida repeats, shaking his head. "Looks like he wants to kill you."

"Oh, he does." he comments, shrugging slightly. "But then... So does everyone else. He'll have to wait in line."

[izayabot]

Pairing: Iza/Kida

Word Count: 424

Notes: Yesterday an Anon was talking about Izaya pretending to be Kida’s boyfriend and embarrassing him in front of his friends and I really wanted to write it so here we are.

"…Huh..?" He follows the gazes of his two friends, noting a waving figure still a fair distance away from them. "…I’m not sure, they—" He freezes as the figure draws closer, as he realises who that is. He immediately tries to turn his group around, suddenly desperate to get out of there. “N-No. I have no idea who that is, let’s just head out of here.”

"You sure..?" His friends ask, both of them giving him odd looks. "He sure seems to know you. What’s going—"

“Kiiiiiiida~!" He cringes as an all-too-familiar singsong voice calls out, freezing in place once more and hoping against hope that the man would just leave. He almost squeaks as he feels an arm wrap around his waist, as he’s pulled uncomfortably close to one Izaya Orihara.

”..,What do you want?” he growls, trying and failing to slip out of the other’s grip.

"Now, now." Izaya mumbles in response, holding him even closer. "Is that any way to speak to your loving boyfriend?" His face flares a bright red at those words, only intensifying when Izaya presses a quick kiss against his cheek.

"Y-Y-You—?! I—!? Wh—?!" He can’t form a proper response, stammering several times as his face cycles through various shades of red.

"…You never mentioned you had a boyfriend, Kida." one of his friends mentions, both of them giving Izaya odd looks and obviously trying not to laugh.

"Th-that’s because—!"

"Hmmm? You don’t talk about me, Kida?" Izaya adopts an offended expression, dramatically clutching at his heart with his free hand. "And here I thought you loved me. …Or maybe you’re just shy, hm..?" Izaya grins now, addressing Kida’s friends. "I’m afraid I can’t stick around for proper introductions, I just wanted to see how my little darling angel was doing." He cringes again as Izaya pats the top of his head. "I’ll see you later, love."

Izaya leans down to kiss him properly this time, making a huge show of it as his friends awkwardly avert their gazes. He almost takes a swing at the other man when he feels Izaya’s tongue in his mouth, only for the informant to pull away at the last second. He’s given one final wave before Izaya finally decides to take his leave, now left alone to explain one of the most awkward and embarrassing situations of his entire life.

He was going to kill Izaya for this.

[izayabot]

headcanon time, I imagine that one day Kida would get fed up with Izaya's bullshit and just leaves him and tries to avoid him. Slowly, though, it starts to sink in that Izaya doesn't care about him at all and instead of doing the healthy thing and letting go, he goes "fuck it, I want to mean at least /something/ to him" and comes back.

It’s been almost three weeks since he’s last seen Izaya, nearly an entire month. The last time he’d seen the other man had been when he’d finally, finally, blown up on him, when he’d yelled at him and sworn that he never wanted to see him again before storming out of his office. He’d meant it, at the time, but three weeks gave him too much time to think on it, too much time to wonder.

(He hasn’t shown himself around me once since then. Hasn’t gone looking for me, hasn’t tried to contact me, hasn’t even passed by. I used to see him every damn day, and now…) He sighs to himself, reminding himself once again that this was what he’d wanted, right? To finally get away from the nightmare that was Izaya, to finally cut the info broker out of his life completely. Or, that’s what he tried to keep telling himself.

(You’d think he’d have done something about it, though. It was almost like he would seek me out before, but now… He never even responded when I blew up on him, just looked at me with that same expression as always. Like he thinks he’s better than me. Like I’m beneath him.) His temper starts to flare once more as he thinks back, and he has to stop and take a deep breath to calm himself before thinking any further.

(Because he always has to act like he doesn’t care.) And there’s a nagging thought in the back of his mind that tells him it’s not that Izaya “acts”, it’s because he really doesn’t care (and he shoves that thought away and into the darkest corner of his mind, just as he always does). He finds himself walking towards Izaya’s place before he even truly realises what he’s doing, finds himself standing in front of the man’s door before his actions catch up with him. (…It’s fine, though. It’s fine. This time, I’ll make him care.)