#draco hate

[impishtubist]

I actually think that Draco ending up married with someone who wasn’t in his Hogwarts year makes sense.

Not only someone not in his year, but someone who didn't even attend Hogwarts. I don't see how any of his classmates could be attracted to him after all the shit they saw him do over the years lmao. The only person capable of falling in love with him is someone who doesn't know he got a Hippogriff executed for funsies and let Death Eaters into the school.

[dadstielkline]

me: *loves draco, wishes he had decent redemption arc, lowkey ships drarry, drinny, & druna, highkey ships dransy, drastoria, & draise, genuinely thinks draco changed after the war, wishes more people loved draco*

y’all: draco did nothing wrong. he only acted out because he was abused by his father, draco is a much better choice for harry than ginny ever was, ginny is just a mary sue, draco is the best!

me: draco was a bully & an abusive piece of shit, he was never abused by lucius malfoy, & he doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as harry let alone be in a relationship with him. 

[impishtubist]

"I want to read this Cedric/Harry fic but it’s also got Remus/Tonks in it and so I can’t”, a memoir by me. 

“I want to read this Sirius/Remus fic but it’s also got Harry/Draco in it and so I can’t”, the tragic sequel. 

[impishtubist]

Hey!! So I've recently been on a harry-sirius binge and have read a lot of fics abt Sirius being protective of his baby boy and giving his dates the shovel talk.

What I haven't seen is someone (preferably a boy) actually messing up and hurting Harry's feelings and Sirius finding out abt it.

I just really want to see how he would react and the consequences Harry's date would face, bcoz as dramatic as shovel talks are, nobody actually carries out those threats right?

So if you could please write something for me (or maybe bully one of ur friends into doing it coz I've noticed u have quite a reputation for that😅...no offense!!)

Thanks😊

p.s. I would prefer it to be only harry-sirius (no Remus or Wolfstar) but anything's fine.

I actually really love this! You’re right, we never see how Sirius would react if someone broke Harry’s heart, but you know he would not let that slide. 

I don't think I would be physically capable of writing this as an actual fic without Remus involved. I understand not wanting Wolfstar, but I can't imagine a universe where Sirius didn't immediately call his best friend and fellow Marauder for backup after he learns that someone broke Harry's heart. 😂 Remus is extremely unhinged, after all, and he would be excellent at helping Sirius plot revenge. 

But I will attempt to do a Remus-less bullet point fic for you:

The boy who breaks Harry’s heart is absolutely Draco, because he’s an asshole.

Sirius didn’t approve of Harry dating Draco at all, but he kept his mouth shut because he’s a good dad. 

Harry breaks things off immediately after he catches Draco cheating, and he moves back home to Grimmauld after that, but he’s heartbroken and barely leaves his room. Even visits from his little godson Teddy don’t cheer him up.

(Yes this is DH-compliant because it’s the only way I can make sure Remus doesn’t accidentally appear lmao.) 

(Also Sirius is raising Teddy because I said so. This has nothing to do with the plot, I just needed everyone to know that.) 

Sirius spends a lot of time comforting Harry. Curling up in bed with him as Padfoot. Cooking all his favorite meals. Coaxing him out of his room so they can watch trash Muggle TV together. Giving Harry lots of hugs and giving him the space to grieve and cry. 

Sirius also goes over to the flat and packs up all of Harry’s things for him, because he’s damn well not going to make Harry step foot in that place again (and also plants a few magical surveillance devices.) 

There’s a big Ministry function that Harry and Draco were supposed to attend together at the end of the month that Harry still has to attend, and he’s dreading running into his ex and the affair partner there.

Sirius gets an idea. 

He enlists George Weasley’s help, because Marauders always work best with a partner-in-crime.

They proceed to make Draco’s life hell for the entire night--spilling wine on his very expensive robes, transfiguring birds out of napkins that follow him around and peck him, changing his hairstyle and hair color, slipping potions into his drinks that make him lose his voice (or talk in an atrocious American accent) whenever he talks to somebody Important. 

Sirius also leaks what he picked up on the magical surveillance devices to Rita Skeeter, and she writes up a damning piece about how Draco Malfoy cheated on the savior of the wizarding world. He gets shunned. Also the affair partner breaks things off with him. 

Harry and George fall in love and eventually get married and live happily ever after the end. 

(Sirius and Kingsley also get married later on. This also has nothing to do with the plot but I need everyone to know it. Kingsley was very impressed and honestly kind of turned on by all the mischief Sirius caused that night.) 

I am tagging @padfootastic in this because she is the only person I know who loves Sirius & Harry as much as I do while also disliking Remus. Maybe she can write you the fic that you are looking for, because I think I went off the rails with this one 😂

[impishtubist]

I am going through old FFN fics for lack of Sirius & Harry content on AO3 tonight and oh my god a Sirius-raised-Harry would never be in Slytherin or befriend Draco are you kidding me

[impishtubist]

I’m gonna write a fic where Harry tries to date Draco, and Sirius and Remus are like “hmmmmmm nope”, and they murder him so Harry can date Cedric instead :) 

[impishtubist]

I’m just saying that if Harry was raised by Wolfstar, he would have actual standards and he would date people who are worthy of him, and not Draco Malfoy 🤣

[impishtubist]

i hope draco malfoy is deeply unhappy and alone send tweet