#dracoreviews

[draconako]

Still looking to do [commissions] and I have a [Ko-Fi] if you’re so inclined, but I figured I’d throw this out there, too: I do book reviews. Right now it’s just for stories up on Wattpad, but if you’re a writeblr posting your work and want someone to review it, I’m your nonbinary pal. 

LGBTQ+ fiction/stories with LGBTQ+ characters strongly encouraged.

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[draconako]

Draco Reviews: Freedom’s Gate [Wattpad Novel]

Title: Freedom's Gate

Author: KR_Williams

Thoughts:

There's a lot of things I like about this book. The magic system is interesting and way less light and dark [lol] than things first appear to be. I like the concept of Binding. I like how this is [mostly] not about the Chosen One, but rather about someone related to the Chosen One in some sort of way. I like that this book tackles mental abuse - and familial at that - head on and that it actually affects Kit and warps his state of mind.

I also don't like some things. I don't like all the POV switching. Half the time, it felt like a TV episode where they pan to the villain just so we can see how they're undermining the main character's plan. Short scenes of Ifrod [I can't remember his exact name] sending letters and being conniving. I didn't like it. On that token, chapter 24. What happened there? It feels like we switched POVs halfway through a scene and it's very disorienting - and not in a good way. I didn't like that we found out what happened to Kit after the mountain accident... but not from his perspective. All we hear over and over again is about the horse and not much else.

I also don't like the prologue. It commits one of the big sins of prologues - not that it's history world-dumping, and not that it leads right into chapter one, but that it's basically one of the last scenes in the book, just with some alteration. That's not what a prologue is. That's not what a prologue is supposed to do. Take it out.

And while I understand the magic's dialogue is stylized for effect, the combination bold/caps/I think italics kinda made my head hurt.

On a more neutral note, the world and the magic that resides in it definitely has depth. The class/race disparity has weight and it's a very obvious problem. A lot of the groups in this world are not cut-and-dry. The Dark Mages aren't all defectors. The Light Mages aren't all good. The... one rebel group. They have good intentions. There's a lot of morality to play with here, and play with it we do. It's fun to see.  And, again, I like how this is about a chosen one but not in the way we tend to think.

On one hand, I'm interested to see how this goes, but on the other I feel kinda eh about this? There's a lot to like, but a lot of technical things dampened my enjoyment and in general I didn't find myself wholeheartedly enthralled with this project like I wanted to be.

If you would like to read this for yourself, it’s available [here]

[draconako]

Draco Reviews: Of Rust and Gold [Wattpad Novel]

Title: Of Rust and Gold

Author: Poindexter / @junekinn

Thoughts:

This quickly became one of my favorite books on this orange hellsite, and that's quite the feat to accomplish.

I don't say this to stroke June's ego, or because he's my friend. Truth be told, this book is really fucking great. And it's obvious he has put a lot of thought into what he's writing and who he's writing about, and that he cares about this project very much.

The worldbuilding makes this world one of my favorite ones I've read about. True, it at times was hard to pick apart country names, but for the most part all the names slung about make sense and are easy to follow. And not just the names, the associations that go along with them. I love these countries. I love their cultures. I can see all of them in my head. I want to visit the Rhine.

Well. Something tells me I don't want to actually do that. But you get the point.

The biggest sore mark this book has is it's very hard to have positive feelings about anyone in this book. But it's supposed to be that way. All these characters are terrible people. Even Argus. Especially Argus. Fuck him, actually. I hate him. I want to shove him into a mailing crate and throw him into the ocean. But you know what? It's fun to hate him. So much bad shit happens to and because of him that I started to feel quite vindicated by my name-choice for him [Whore-gus, if you're wondering]. And aside from that, it's just fun to read about him digging himself further and further into his own grave. And I noticed a lot of people had problems with the fact this cast is so unlikeable... but again, it works. This is the sort of story that really cannot be told from the perspective of non-morally bankrupt people. And it's so much fun reading them all roasting each other.

In all seriousness, the biggest black mark this book has to its name is the fact that it really needs a round of editing. Especially with punctuation. Please read some guides on how to use commas. I'm begging you.  Also it took me an unbearably long amount of time to figure out what the "thing" from Prince Aayden's ship was, and this is one of the key conflicts. But also this could just be my fault.

But even this... didn't really impede my enjoyment of the book, honestly. It just would be leagues better if the punctuation was fixed. Please.

Another [really big] thing I liked is how personal struggles got dealt with. Argus cheating on Enyo? Big moral quandry about it. Not that he deserves to wax poetic about it, but whatever. Argus nearly dying? I wish he actually had, but I'll take his ever-present fear after the fact, too. Leo's alcoholism. Ever-present, a problem he constantly has to grapple with. Many of the characters have trauma and issues that help round them out and make them seem more human and I love it.

I still would kick Argus down a hill, though.

If you would like to read this for yourself, it’s available [here]

[draconako]

Draco Reviews: Wildlings [Wattpad Novel]

Title: Wildlings

Author: theemmpress

Thoughts:

I had two major problems with this book: the world-building and the point of view. The first point has a few facets to it.

There are some aspects of the world-building that I like - the actual linguistic changes are, while at times cheesy, clever. The implementation of tech, clever.

Everything else about the worldbuilding... various degrees of not clever.

The basis of the culture surrounding this book reads like someone with a sixth grade understanding of racial matters decided to write a world centered a lot around racial matters. The basic idea is there, but the result is cringey at best. And, to be honest, this book is a peak example of why white people shouldn't write narratives centered on race. It's really not our place to.

Speaking of the worldbuilding... the terms for the three main groups. I cringed. Really hard. We have the Generics - who as far as I understand are basically white people - the Exotics - the people of color, as I understand - and the Natives. I have several problems with these name choices.

-They're entirely too simplistic. I'll use America as my example here. We don't call POC "exotics". We tend to use umbrella terms - Asian and Black and such - but even these are way less overarching than "exotic". Even real life chose better [still not good] collective names for groups of people. -Even "generic" is too overarching and broad. And comes with a lot of shitty connotations. Which I mean, I understand where the author is going with this? But like a lot of things that happen in this book, the meaning behind it is cringey at best. -Exotic as a descriptor also just has a lot of bad connotations. Which, again, I get it, but it's... hamfisted at best. -This is equivocable to me to fantasy stories that just capitalize Big Important Terms rather than try and come up with their own words for it. And it's lazy.

Moving on. The Point of View. It took me five chapters to realize I was supposed to be reading about two different characters. I kept getting confused about who the fuck I was reading about. I honestly thought it was the same person with two different names, until Sannah and Judit get separated. And then when they're reunited, the same thing happens. The only reason I know how to tell them apart the second time is because the POV flips each chapter.

I understand this is third person, but the fact I was unable to tell who I was reading about for five entire chapters is very very bad. They read so samey that it hurts. Unless you're writing omniscient - and this book is not in omniscient - each POV character should have a sort of voice that makes them stand out from the rest of the cast. And these characters did not.

If I could tell these characters apart without them needing to be separated, and if one of the key themes of the book wasn't so egregiously hamfisted, maybe I would like this. But unfortunately, I couldn't, and it was, so I didn't.

If you would like to read this for yourself, it’s available [here]

[draconako]

Draco Reviews: The Life of Cassander Stoutsworth

Title: The Life of Cassander Stoutsworth

Author: ILikeCrabs

Thoughts:

This is a story that goes through and - literally - recounts the life of Cassander Stoutsworth. How he lived and how he got to present day. At parts, it's engaging. My biggest, problem, though, is why is he doing this? The first chapter has no real, logical lead into him giving his life story. Why is he doing this? Furthermore, why should I care? Why do I care about the Mossy Flagon and Thomas? We're not really given a lot of time TO care about them. Why did the author choose this method to open the story up? It gives readers specific expectations that were then not met.

As such, I don't really think the narrative style chosen was the best fit for the novel. Which is a shame, because the general idea is a good one if it was presented in a better way. I would suggest either writing through the sequence of events and delving deeper into them, or choosing a better reason and transition into the story itself.

Also, delve deeper into Bethany. Cassander dedicates a LOT of words to Lilly, but Bethany is the real problem here - at least, she's the one that basically fucked Cassander over. Really, all the characters could be fleshed out more, but she's the biggest victim in my opinion of being a cardboard cutout.

There were also some minor grammar errors, but that can be fixed with a light round of edits.

Again, this could be something really awesome, but it's framed in... well, not the best way.

If you would like to read for yourself, it’s available [here]

[draconako]

Draco Reviews: Star Wars: The Last Jedi

NOTE: This is not a review of the movie, but of a fanfic I was handed by the same name. A similar concept ig TO the movie, but... not of the movie.

Title: Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Author: DiegoVIII

Thoughts:

I tried. I really did. And I threw in the towel after the first chapter.

The writing style is so stilted and awkward that it hurt to read. I very, very, very strongly encourage this author to pursue an editor to clean it up. The saving grace here is that it's readable and that the spelling is good, but that still doesn't help matters much.

The other massive issue is that the first chapter was very long and very boring, and all the information is told to readers. We get a lot of things right off the bat, like Rey's past, and not much time to process it. "Oh, you were a Jedi trainee and your brother is Kylo Ren and some other Jedi wiped your memories" and she just takes it. Bonus points for telling us how she's supposed to be characterized. Don't just tell us she's supposed to be traumatized. Let us feel that trauma. And, preferably, don't have flashbacks/memory scenes that last half the chapter.

I think if these two glaring issues were fixed, the work would be on the way to something decent. But it really, really needs those issues fixed.

[draconako]

Draco Reviews: Cracked Coffins [Wattpad Novel]

Title: Cracked Coffins

Author: TheDeadPlace

Thoughts:

This was a very difficult book for me to read, but not because of the writing style. The writing itself is fantastic. The way the topics are handled? Also fantastic. However, it's because these topics were so visceral and handled that made reading this book a challenge.

Marianna is... a unique character. She has the type of facets and backstory that a lot of writers tend to mess up egregiously. She's stubborn. She's aggressive. She's not good at seeking help. But in this case, it works for her. See, the failing with most characters of this sort of personality is that they eventually [and often very quickly] lose it. Something - normally a person, normally a man - gets in the way of the MC and their personality falls to the wayside...

But not here. And I am unspeakably grateful for that.

The flipside to this, though, is that while I can sympathize with her, I find it very hard to like her. For the most part I felt pretty ambivalent about her and her character, but after... I believe it was chapter 28, this ambivalence flipped to dislike. This is not a fault of the author. Really, it's just a byproduct of the type of person Marianna is. And, by far, Marianna really is a well-rounded character. That said, I reverted right back to liking her in the last couple of chapters. I hope she finds peace, somehow.

But.... it's hard to say the same about other characters. Marianna's "friends", for instance. I can barely remember their names. Honestly, I couldn't very well tell them apart aside from the fact one was more sensible than the other. I knew Jenna was dead, but that's the biggest distinction I could make. That said, considering the plot and the type of person Marianna is, developing them would be difficult. BUT it could be done.

That also leads me to a sort of problem I had: Jenna's death. I know she died. Marianna knew she died, and kinda dwelled on it. But it didn't come across like Marianna's friends were all that bothered by it. At least, not until Marianna is put in Carol's home. This, like Marianna's "friends" in general, came across shallow. I wanted to care about them and everything that happened, but found it incredibly difficult to.

Another problem I had was with Denendrius's abuse. Not the abuse itself, but the sheer lengths he goes to. When he takes Marianna to the woods [the chapter escapes me...] he assaults her within an inch of her life. Honestly, I feel like she would've been dead long before he was finished "teaching her a lesson", based on everything he does. I know she's gone through a lot, but the human body can only handle so much. I'm not saying to water it down or anything, but I feel like in these cases, less is more. Especially since we find out something else that happened in this forest towards the end of the book.

Contrariwise, Marianna's got a drug problem, but aside from cigarettes it didn't seem so much that this was an issue for her, especially later in the book. I know we can't always cover everything, and that there are other, more important parts of the book, but this is one thing that I'm not sure should be left to the wayside the way it feels like it does.

Overall, this is a very impacting read that I had to take my time with. The problems I mention didn't hamper my enjoyment of it.

But uh. Fuck Denendrius though. I really hope he's fucking dead.

If you would like to read for yourself, it’s available [here]

[draconako]

Draco Reviews: Republic’s Chosen

I write this with the full conscious awareness that I will probably step on toes for this review. However, it was a review I was asked to do and both I and the asker were aware of my terms.

Title: Republic's Chosen

Author: Rori I.

Thoughts:

I received a copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.

If I had to sum this book up in one word and one word only, that word would be shallow, and it applies in a multitude of ways. The plot is shallow. Liana's and Marcus's relationship is shallow. The characters overall are shallow. I get more depth from a kiddie pool than I do from this book and it made me incredibly frustrated when I was attempting to read it. What made me more frustrated was what I was promised with this book, which I was then not handed.

I'll start with the writing, because it's the easiest to handle. On the whole, the writing is mediocre and oftentimes, unfortunately, sloppy. I am really curious who the author hired as an editor for this project, because it became very apparent to me early onward that Rori did not get zier money's worth. There are many awkward sentences, punctuation choices, and misspellings throughout the prose. At times, I would find myself reading a paragraph three times to figure out what it had said. This is a bad thing. There was nothing in the prose that particularly excited me. I can't pick a favorite line because honestly it was very hard to have one. In short, I walked away disappointed.

I don’t know what the plot was honestly. What's written on the summary is not what I was handed. I understand Liana and Marcus were taken from their house and put into military training, and some training happens... but that's all I know. After they get to the base, it feels like a slice of life novel and considering the setting and the themes that are attempted to be addressed, this is... a bad thing. Not to mention there were many things skimmed over that would've been interesting to see [Liana's strategy battle with her teacher, for example] and I don't understand why they were skimmed over in place of transition scenes that only really served to bore me. Not to mention, each chapter change was jarring in its own right and it took me an impossibly long time to figure out how we got from one chapter into the next because the connections were often hard to draw. Not to mention overall the only consistent plot points were Li's sexual assault, Li's and Marcus's relationship issues, and some vague problem with Li's past and a secret identity that gets waved in reader's noses like an annoying older sibling with a toy and serves to only frustrate readers with how badly it's handled.

Inversely, there were some scenes that were covered that were done poorly. For example, in chapter five, Liana gets assaulted physically and sexually by people she’s pissed off, and once the sexual assault happens, there’s a great deal of distance between the narrative and the events. Not in a way that it feels proper, like if Liana dissociated. More than anything else, it very strongly feels like the author didn’t want to write the scene [and zie could’ve avoided writing through the scene as a result] but did it anyway. And the fact it feels so distant is a bad thing. It perhaps would’ve been better to cut the scene short and pick back up with the aftermath.

Actually, let’s talk about that arc, because I have many bones to pick with it as a whole. So chapter five, Liana gets molested. The chapter ends with her consulting a friend about what happened instead of her husband and plotting some sort of revenge. Chapter ends. Chapter six opens in a very different scene and the thoughts of Liana’s assault are dropped until the end of the chapter, when said friend Liana had confided in tells a person in charge what happened despite Liana’s several furious protests. And then after that, the person in charge, Liana’s husband, and the friend all decide to “teach him a lesson” and make off to kill him, despite Liana’s additional protests. To wrap this all up, the entire time, Liana is talked down to and not treated with respect at all. The way this entire arc is handled is downright disrespectful to sexual assault survivors [speaking as one] and in addition lacks the care that this sort of topic needs and, quite frankly, deserves. And, worse off, after chapter six, this arc disappears into the wind. It comes back briefly for chapter ten, there's mentioning of it in chapter... thirteen, I believe? But overall, this event had virtually no effect on Li as a character and her development. That's incredibly heartbreaking seeing such a traumatizing event get brushed to the sidelines like this.

The worldbuilding in this book is weak. Example, there is mention that gender roles in society has changed, and that they've been changed for a while, but the characters don't act like such fact is true. I would've liked to see this worldbuilding detail extended to the actual characters. By far, the biggest failing of the world building is the narrative suggests certain types of bigotry don't exist anymore, but then characters are put into situations which very clearly disagree with this. For a world that doesn't care about your gender, Li sure experiences a lot of sexism. In addition, for a story mostly set on a military base... it sure didn't feel like one. It felt more like a summer camp for... "adults". The details about historical events or how technology works or what it's made of gets put on readers in inorganic and boring ways and then just... dropped. "Here's this cool thing. You're probably never going to hear about it again."

Gee, I wonder where I heard that before...

I am not attached to half of these characters and the ones I can actually remember, I hate or feel almost nothing for. In fact, the only character I really had feelings about at all was Liana. And I hated her. Liana is an annoying, bratty, ignorant, and she acts like she's thirteen to top it all off. She's supposed to be in her mid-twenties. She mouths off to everyone. Everybody is always shocked when she fires off some "sassy" quip and she always gets away with it. Keep in mind, she mouths off to her superiors as well. I kept expecting someone to do something about her "flaw", but it rarely comes. When it does come, much like her being sexually assaulted it has virtually no bearing on her character and overall is just an opportunity for Li to have some sullen mouthy dialogue about how everyone around her is an idiot and she's in the right and some other nonsense.

Speaking of characters, Marcus's and Lianna's relationship. Where was it? The only time I felt any sort of romantic chemistry between them was when Heights gave them a keycard so they could sneak off [around chapter 13, I believe]. Even when Marcus was "killed" in a simulation [Chapter 14], Li felt emotion over it for all of a second. She felt more for the woman who had almost actually died in an earlier simulation than she had for her own husband. I understand the point of the novel is that their relationship is falling apart, but aside from the fact that I can hardly feel the chemistry is just the fact that I can't even buy that they're married in the first place. They fight with great frequency over the most asinine things. They have what appears to be very little in common. Lianna was incredibly reluctant to tell her own husband about her assault because she was scared over how he was going to react. This is a bad sign. Moreover, when they did fight, most of the time the narrative tried to paint it as being Marcus's fault, when the truth would be it was either both of theirs or Liana's. And yes, sometimes Marcus's as well. Example, when they have make-up sex, we skip ahead to afterwards and they have a conversation. In this conversation, Marcus is treated like the entire reason their relationship is souring and as such, the only person who needs to shape up and fix it. This is so incredibly false.  They both did bad things to each other and were both the reason their relationship was falling apart. Don't get me wrong, Marcus had an abundance of shitty moments and loved to lord his artificial means of power over Liana and that's also bad. However, Liana is not innocent and the narrative tries to paint her like she is. This is incredibly dishonest and just paints her in an even worse light.

And finally, the icing on this cake, the representation.

I was handed this book told that the cast was rife with LGBTQ and POC characters, that they were strong and prominent and important roles. Except, when I opened the book, this isn't what I found. For starters, Liana is allegedly bisexual, but there are no statements made of any sort that suggest this. She's in a het-passing relationship and refuses to talk about her past. There's no indication she's ever dated women and nb people or even had an interest in them at all. This is the same case with the rest of the cast. The unfortunate truth is that readers will default to cishet and white when reading unless suggested otherwise, and there were barely suggestions otherwise. I can count three characters I can remember – and I can only remember the name of one of them – that were confirmed in the text as queer in some fashion and the sad part is they barely got screentime. Likewise with POC rep. There were hardly suggestions towards anyone's ethnicity [there was a throwaway line about Lianna's "Persian genetics"]. The thing about having representation is, if you're going to say it's there and actively promote your book as having it, it needs to actually be there. It doesn't count if you have tumblr moodboards about it. It doesn't count if you talk lots about your OCs outside of the narrative. None of that means anything unless it's there and evident in the text. The fact that I was handed this book and told it was "queer military sci-fi" is intellectually dishonest and I feel cheated.

In summation, I got to page 217 and debated calling it quits, pressed on, and actually quit on page 269. There is so much inherently off here that frankly I'm left feeling disappointed with the shallow resulted I was granted, as well as hurt by several of the elements in this prose.