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I am one of the last of the great black dragons of old. The earth trembles as I trod upon it. Mountains crack from my grasp. The beat of my wings is a hurricane unleashed on the sky. My hunger can consume entire kingdoms.
What I'm saying is maybe I could lose some weight.
Guys I'm big dissapointed. I got a lot of FAT STACKS from armored cars and a bank, threw them on the floor and tried sleeping on them. Like visually it's super cool but its not comfy at all. Then I burped and set the paper on fire. So yeah, paper money is not sleepy horde material.
I'm gonna try the classic, gold coins and jewels. Maybe from sunk ships
So working out 'burns' Calories right? Do you know what else burns stuff? Fire. So logically if blast the sky with torrents of fire im burning stuff, calories included right? I'm trying to explain how my recent weight loss attempt caused a forest fire.
Related, I caused a forest fire, and it IS a biggie. Like with weather systems and fire tornadoes and shit.
Zero advance on the princess kidnapping thing, I'm open to ideas. There are like, literally zero candidates in the general area, and I'm defiitely not gonna fly to the freaking European continent to go get actual royalty.
... Am I bound by aviation law? I'm not a plane but I fly. Do I legally count as aircraft? I need a lawyer.
Doesn't listen to the haters, I give great advice, and it's free
Ok guys I found like a LOT of cursed artifacts in my horde that I don't rember getting and Im starting to get concerned.
Like for example last night I was chilling and I found an obsidian skull with ruby eyes. Staring into it's eyes makes me feel weird. And I don't remember where it came from. Maybe one of kids stole it from THE LICH but there is a lot of cursed shit i don't know where I got.
Wizard buddies? What should I do with this shit?
Ok so a couple of government agent types knocked on my door asking about all those gold ingots I PLUNDERED from the federal reserve. I forgot to tell you guys cause I was so salty, but I absolutely blasted that fucker and stole the gold. Anyhow I would have shown them to the mimic but that might make them mad at me.
How do you guys handle this kind of situations?
