Relatively certain the AC unit on top of my apartment building is about to explode
It's making a sound like one, or perhaps all, of the following things:
A jackhammer in gravel.
A helicopter flying too low, with maracas hot glued to the rotary blades.
A washing machine with an unbalanced load set on a high spin cycle, lurching about and hitting the wall, only at ten times the speed and twenty times the volume.
The clatter of the steeds of the Four Horsemen descending to my rooftop in a cruel mockery of Santa alighting on a roof to deliver presents to innocent children.
...it's bad.
I might not live through the night. Pretty sure this thing is about to catch fire or explode. Yes, I have called maintenance, but they sound skeptical of my claims. Perhaps I shouldn't have used that last metaphor, but I felt that invoking a Biblical apocalypse was the only way I could accurately convey the depth of the problem.
Pray to whatever god or eldritch abomination you hold dear that Lucky lives to see the sun rise.
