DRACO MALFOY AND HIS DESSERTS
Insp. taken from @synonym-for-life‘s epic post! Make sure to check it out along with her blog!
Draco Malfoy had just taken a liking to muggle food. Harry had spent the last three months introducing him to all the different variety of dishes they could possibly come across in the streets of London.
Draco was particularly appreciative of what muggles called dessert.
Every night, after dinner, Draco would request it and Harry would either take him out somewhere to get it or get him something from the fridge. He’d taken the liberty to make sure they always had a stock of sweets for Draco in case he decided to wake him up again in the middle of the night to complain about being hungry.
It was a few hours past lunch when Draco started craving again and Harry had just left for the Department of Ministries where he worked as Head Auror. Draco still had a few more hours until Harry got home so he decided it best to rummage the kitchen for food alone.
Wary of the appliances, he was careful not to touch any more contraptions that he had not yet mastered using. He walked cautiously behind the small kitchen island and faced the fridge. He eyed it with strong apprehension. He was not to make the same error of mistaking one tool for another. The kitchen was a very, very dangerous place for a wizard like him, and Draco had spent six months learning that the hard way.
Finally deciding that the rectangular box standing before him was, indeed, what Harry called the refrigerator. He grabbed the handle with full precaution and opened it to find nothing.
Draco was fuming. What was he supposed to do now? What was he supposed to eat?
That lousy Potter with his lousy scar and his lousy home. He’s well aware of the fact that I’m not yet familiar with his muggle world and all their muggle shit. If he were to keep me prisoner here you would think he would have at least had the slightest decency to provide me with food!
Draco was about to stomp his way out of the kitchen when something caught his eye.
There, perched on top the island, was a glorious bowl of… of…
What was that Harry put there?
Draco stepped closer for a better look. With his eyebrows scrunched, he was careful to lift the bowl and examine it’s contents. It looked like a green mush of cream.
He’s seen this before! Draco’s eyes lit up, trying to recall why it was so familiar. Then it hit him. This was ice cream. He and Harry have had this quite a few times now and it was one of his favorite desserts. He had identified the flavor of this particular dish to be what Harry called ‘pistachio’.
Draco smirked, proud of himself for a job well done.
Potter thinks he can outsmart me, does he? Hiding food from me. He probably set this aside for himself for later! That selfish git.
Draco was not going to give him the satisfaction. He put the bowl down and took out a spoon from one of the drawers. He then proceeded to scoop an entire spoonfull and shoved it right down in his mouth.
Draco’s eyes widened like saucers as he realized this wasn’t at all what he thought it was. This definitely was not ice cream.
Draco started choking at the burning sensation that soon attacked his throat, his tongue began to sting in a way he never imagined, and the brutal sensation was quick to spread along the insides of his mouth. He ran to the sink and spat fiercely in a tight grimace. Coughing profusely, he grabbed the detachable faucet from it’s handle and pressed it in haste, spilling water everywhere.
On his face, in his mouth, in his nose, on his clothes. On his
best
fucking
clothes.
And his throat was still burning.
Harry was about to get another mouthful for this.
Harry had just arrived in his office after stopping by to see Hermione in her department to give his opinion on her work as she requested. He was about to sit down when he heard a loud tapping on his window. He opened it and an owl flew past his head. Harry turned to see an envelope on its beak.
It wasn’t just any envelope.
It was trembling.
Harry knew what was about to happen. And he dreaded it. Slowly, warily, he walked toward the letter with his hand outstretched. He looked away and squinted his eyes just in case it blew up even before it was opened.
And just when the tip of Harry’s fingers touched the edge of the envelope, Kingsley stepped into his office.
HARRY FUCKING POTTER!! YOU AND ALL THE BLOODY THINGS YOU PUT IN MY BLOODY MOUTH. I AM WET!! DO YOU HEAR ME?? I’M WET AND SWEATY AND ACHING ALL OVER. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH MY THROAT IS BURNING RIGHT NOW?? I SWALLOWED IT POTTER. I SWALLOWED IT FUCKING WHOLE AND CHOKED ON IT AND NOW MY FUCKING THROAT IS BURNING LIKE HELLFIRE. YOU BLOODY TOSSER I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU!! YOU COULDN’T HAVE AT LEAST THROWN ME A WARNING, COULD YOU?? OH JUST YOU WAIT. WHEN YOU GET HOME I WILL SHOVE MY FUCKING WAND DOWN YOUR FUCKING THROAT THEN I WILL RAM IT UP YOUR ARSE AND TRUST ME, THERE WILL BE NO MERCY!!!
The letter erupted into flames and Harry’s cheeks were the brightest shade of red. Harry turned his head to face Kingsley who was completely stupefied. There was an eerie silence followed by a loud uproar. Harry looked behind Kingsley and found that he had forgotten to close the door.
Harry heaved a loud sigh and looked at Kingsley, completely undignified.
Kingsley managed to offer him a weak small smile and spoke, “Kinky.” But it was barely heard through the loud hooting and catcalls the entire office was giving Harry.
Harry groaned and bumped his head on a nearby cabinet. “The bloody twat ate the wasabi,” he reasoned, but with the noise so loud, it was almost to himself.
If you’ve managed to read this far, I really appreciate it! So sorry if this ended up like trash hahaha love you guys thanks for putting up with my shit x